School reports - good and bad comments. Would you give a reward for the good?

[DeborahBorr]

Or does the bad cancel out the good and no reward?

Report is, ahem, mixed. I've calmed down a bit now. Some teachers obviously love her "infectious personality" (I'm assuming that is a compliment...) But the consistent theme is that she's a bit of a pain in the arse - talking too much, disrupting classes and letting herself down. Could do better if she'd just concentrate. She's Yr 7 btw.

I know lots of people give rewards for good reports. Do I look for the good and give a reward to encourage that or don't even consider the idea?

What would you do?

[FluffyBunnyGoneBad]

I would give a small reward but work with her on the areas of concern. It's not all negative so a small reward for the positive will lift her spirits. She can't change what's already done.

[hercules1]

I would focus on the positive. I'm a secondary teacher and kids usually thrive on praise. Address the negative by really laying it on thick about the good things. I would ask for her to go on a report so you can see an improvement across all lessons.

[Umlellala]

I personally wouldn't give a tangible reward for reports BUT I would praise her for the great stuff then ask her what she thinks she needs to improve (ie get her to tell you what's on the report). Then you can work out together how to improve her behaviour and maybe you could negotiate a reward for her at end of term if there is an improvement?

[DeborahBorr]

She's already on a Monitoring Diary - her second one

[hercules1]

WHat about agreeing a treat for a certain percentage of good lessons at the end of each week e.g. girly time together doing nails or something like that. DOnt expect perfection and agree how many have to be good.

[FluffyBunnyGoneBad]

Oh dear. Is she bored? Having problems at school? Some children (including my ds) are a bit of a square peg and can find school difficult, they do tend to try and put the children in a box which is unhelpful for them.

[Umlellala]

Who is the most positive teacher? Maybe try and have a chat with them and see if they have any ideas...

[magentadreamer]

Praise the good points but I wouldn't give a reward for a report that is saying she's a disruptive influence in class by more than one teacher. Work with your daughter and reward good behaviour as and when it happens. Perhaps set targets for her - so many positive remarks on her monitoring report could lead to a small treat etc.

[scienceteacher]

I wouldn't give a reward for that report. Quite the opposite, really.

[Littlefish]

I agree with scienceteacher. Yes, they're saying she has an "infectious personality", but do any of them say anything positive about her effort, or attitude? With this report, I think I would be asking to see her head of year again. If she's on her second monitoring diary and still getting a report like this, then I think you need to work with the school on some different strategies.

[mrsruffallo]

Yes, any remarks regarding effort?
From what you have written I wouldn't be best pleased

[DeborahBorr]

Hmm, thanks for the comments. Her report is strange in that some teachers are very positive about her, "a delight to teach, always ready to learn and ask questions", "Keep up the good work!", "she usually concentrates well in class". Then you get a few "needs to be more confident", "remind herself of her own abilities"

No reward has been suggested or requested so it's not an issue I need to fret about. But I am aware that we all respond to praise. I feel I don't give her enough recognition for what she does well. I do think she's pretty immature and easily bored (which is also an issue at home).

[maria1665]

Rather than reward the report, which doesn't seem that bad btw - why not, now she is getting older, build in a regular 'mum and DD' time - lunch in town every other Saturday, or a pedicure, or something - dependant on means of course.

Aren't the comments more about being a bit immature? A regular treat for both of you together would be heard reward for growing up and getting older - and your reward for getting her this far. The pre teen years don't last long.

[DeborahBorr]

Thanks maria. I'm not sure she'd see spending time with her mum as a reward. Or maybe she would and I just assume she woudln't? Loves being with her friends. But if she can get through this week and get x points from her monitoring diary I'll tell her there will be some sort of reward. I've got to give has an incentive to be good when at the moment she feels nothing she does is good enough/appreciated (within her own control, of course, I'm not apologising for her)

[gardeningmum05]

my son has just sat his sats, and in the practise sats he came top in year 6. i have promised him a new t.v. for his room if he achieves the same or better grades. i know its a bribe, but if it helps him achieve his dreams i dont care!!!!
i wish my mum had encouraged me when i was his age, she didnt even come to the parents evenings
i think rewards are a good thing

[scaryteacher]

My year 8 ds had a very mixed report in December, and I am awaiting the next one with baited breath.

I had him put on monitoring for specific issues such as completing classwork, not calling out in class, ensuring h/w was correctly recorded etc. Actually making him do the h/w is my problem.

The sanctions were easy. We live abroad and sending him back to the UK to board has always been a possibility. He doesn't want to...so he had to improve or he was boarding from this September. He improved dramatically, and has maintained that since January, as he knows how strongly I feel about the issue.

We all respond to praise, however, as a teacher and a parent I feel that if one gets into the reward for a good report, they'll never learn to get a good report because they want to for themselves iyswim. I am also really averse to the monetary reward for good GCSE grades. They need them to do A-levels or to access any half-decent job. I think in the carrot and stick game we all do far too much carrot and not enough stick.

[scienceteacher]

I think if you know that your daughter struggles with behaviour - enough to be on report twice in the year - you have to get to the bottom of such dramatic inconsistencies in her individual subjects. Of course, children do respond to different teachers and subjects in a different way, and even the naughtiest child will have a subject they single out to do well in.

I would be grouping the subjects into two columns and looking at patterns.

I would also look at the 'good' subjects and figure out how many lessons a week she has and how many pupils that teacher sees. If it is in a non-core subject, the teacher may have over 300 pupils on their books. It is very difficult to write accurate reports when you don't see the pupils very often and have loads of them. It gets easier as they move up the school because you will start to get to know them. If a teacher doesn't know the pupil well, they will undoubtably write a positive report - it is easier that way.

I would be making an appointment with the form tutor or head of year, tbh.

[janeite]

I wouldn't give a reward if there were any negative comments at all.

[mumeeee]

We nevr gave rewards for good comments. But DH and I would always discuss thier reports with them.We alwys praised them for good points and would look for ways they good improve on the bad points.

[scienceteacher]

I would consider a reward for good effort across the board. But a single bad effort comment would be a black ball.

We have rewarded school reports in the past - usually by going out to lunch (any excuse will do for me). I did give DS2 and incentive to do well in his Common Entrance, and I followed through on it. I neglected to reward DS1 for his string of A* at GCSE - bad mummy.

Apart from DS2's CE incentive, rewards for reports in our family are spontaneous and erratic - as with all other aspects of our family life .

[janeite]

We have always rewarded school reports with a new book or an item of clothing that they needed anyway.

[scienceteacher]

Sneaky, janeite

[janeite]

Any excuse to buy books!

[goldrock]

I agree with janeite. I don't normally buy my DCs much apart from birthdays/Christmas so if there is something they want near report time I tell them they can have it for their "report prize"
Luckily they have always had good reports so its worked out OK but I do worry that it will become something that they expect regardless of the quality of the report.

[janeite]

Goldrock - my two are 14 and 12 now and have never had a bad report, so I hope it keeps up. They know not to ask for a present but they do get a little something after each good report.