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Friend has offered to take DS (5) out for birthday treat on Friday. Do I tell/ask school or pull sickie?

(12 Posts)
BloodyBen10 Thu 18-Jun-09 00:01:40

A friend, who is on leave this week, has offered to take DS out for an impromptu birthday trip to a theme park this Friday. She is unable to take him on a weekend date for months. DS would love it and I would like him to go. He's in reception, so a day off is no big deal, IMO.

I've known of my friend's proposal for a few days, and have been thinking, well, I'll just have to pull a sickie at such short notice (it's too late for booking an offical day off) - but the nearer Friday gets, the guiltier I feel. And of course there's the risk, if I pull a sickie, of DS enthusing about his day out next week. hmm

What I can't decide is if I should chance being honest with the school and risk them frowning upon my decision or worse, or should I just pull a sickie? Or, because DS isn't of compulsory school age (it's not yet the term after his fifth birthday), can I just tell school I'm taking him out for the day?

I do intend for him to go. I'd like some advice on how to handle this, at such short notice, with the school. Thanks.

LynetteScavo Thu 18-Jun-09 00:06:19

Pull a sickie.

The school wont authorise it, so it will look bad for them to have an unautherised absence, and you will probably recieve a stern look from the head.

Hope he has a great day!

seeker Thu 18-Jun-09 00:09:26

Go into school tomorrow and explain. Say, if necessary, that the friend never has weekends free. I'm sure they'll be OK about it. If you lie about it your ds will have to lie about ti too - which is wrong in lots of ways.

Cocobear Thu 18-Jun-09 00:12:07

I took DS out of his reception class on his birthday, just because I wanted to spend the day with him. I just told the school he wasn't able to make it in that day. They didn't ask for clarification and I didn't offer any, but I would have just told them the truth if they'd asked. I wouldn't want DS involved in a lie, so wouldn't have told them he was sick.

This all assumes your DS has a pretty good attendence record to start with. Maybe I'm being naive, but surely the worst that's going to happen is a bit of official disapproval, and I'm sure you can stand up to that!

BloodyBen10 Thu 18-Jun-09 00:13:12

Well, I thought with it being a Friday, DS may have stopped talking about it by Monday - or friends/his teacher will think it was on the weekend itself. And I would call in sick on his behalf, but tell him it was allowed. I would never openly advocate him pulling a sickie. The trouble is, these things have a habit of biting you on the bum later down the line.

Hence my feeling more inclined to do what seeker suggests. The trouble is, if they say no, I'm stuffed, aren't I? Unless I say, authorise it or he WILl be sick tomorrow. grin

And so on to my last thought: because of his age, isn't he exempt from this offical authorised absence business? Because legally he doesn't have to be there anyway ...

Thanks, ladies. Need a bit more agreement!

PrettyCandles Thu 18-Jun-09 00:14:59

Tell school. Explain circumstances. They may not authorise it, but you can still do it. Whatever you do, don't ask your 5yo to lie.

fortyplus Thu 18-Jun-09 00:21:07

I took ds1 to the Chelsea Flower Show when he was 9. I spoke to the head about it and she said she thought it would be lovely for him to go (he was very keen) but that she could not authorise an occasional day except for weddings/funerals etc. So I said 'He'll have to have a tummy ache that day then' and she said 'That's a great idea but if you ever tell anyone I said so I shall vehemently deny it!'

BloodyBen10 Thu 18-Jun-09 00:44:34

DS has a brilliant attendance record, so that helps.

Think I'm going to have to be brave and simply tell the head in the morning of the offer, the short notice, and my intentions. I assume she then has the options to authorise it, not authorise it, or sneakily put it down as a sickie. She's quite 'official' and devoid of a sense of humour, so I'm not optimistic.

Something that pisses me off is that plenty of kids at our school use up their 10 days' authorised absence on holidays each year (lots of rich kids, going on lots of holidays in a year). DS and I haven't yet, and don't intend to. So why is our one-off fun day out, using up a tenth of the absence time of a fortnight's term-time holiday, so likely to be considered unacceptable (even with the right amount of notice)? Not fair!

Fennel Thu 18-Jun-09 00:53:02

Why don't you ask for it as Family Holiday then, if that's more likely to be authorised?

We occasionally take ours out for the day, when we go to visit DP's relatives, who live a 5 hour journey away, it's too far for a 2 day weekend so we take an extra day. School is fine, it counts as family holiday. We don't take real holidays in term time so it's just once or twice a year we do this.

BloodyBen10 Thu 18-Jun-09 01:10:07

Thanks Fennel. But it's not family holiday, and at our school at least, authorised absences have to be booked a week or more (it might even be two weeks or more) in advance. That's where I'm stuffed, because I've known for less than a week. For the head to make it authorised, she'd have to lie and back-date a form. I need to get to bed now, but will check in again in the morning.

Thank you all for posting.

senua Thu 18-Jun-09 09:11:45

"Thanks, ladies. Need a bit more agreement!"

ROFL grin

Tell the Head that this is going to happen but emphasise that you will not be making a habit of it. Then go all brown-nosey and say that you understand that she has attendance responsibilities so you are willing to describe this any way that suits her that does not involve asking DS to lie.

Hope he enjoys his birthday treat!

BloodyBen10 Thu 18-Jun-09 09:51:29

Thanks, senua. I'm a bit scared of the head ... does it show? wink

Head wasn't available this morning, so I wrote a note explaining the situation, and that I would be taking DS out, and gave my apologies for the very short notice. Hopefully that should do it. Does seem daft, the amount of grovelling that's involved, when we're effectively talking a one-day holiday. Grumble.

Thanks for advice. There's been no fibbing, which I'm happy about.

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