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so worried about my son age 6, has anyone any ideas or opinions?

(20 Posts)
slowreadingprogress Fri 12-Jun-09 22:52:49

He has motor skill problems which make him behind his peers at school (writing, drawing, cutting, all physical skills inc PE) and we are now fairly sure he's dyslexic

We're having him tested in a few weeks

He's going to a state Junior school in Sept; has anyone had a similar situation with their child - what sort of help can be given? Any good or bad experiences?

Today I feel so bad for my bright DS who is so unable to do well at school sad Usually I can keep positive but today for some reason I'm so desperately worried about him. I think it's because physically he's not on a par with the other boys and they know it - and he tries so hard but just can't progress with the reading, and he's very gentle and sweet natured, when he relates to other kids he kind of can't keep up with the 'repartee' because his natural response is to be positive and kind!

I feel as he goes through school he'll get downtrodden sad

and no, private not an option! We simply can't afford it, I've thought my way round this a million times and we just can't.

Wonderstuff Fri 12-Jun-09 23:01:29

Early diagnosis can be really helpful. The school should be able to help by testing him and giving him extra help. I work in secondary with dyslexic children and children who were diagonsed early and have parents able to advocate for them definitly do better.
Some people see dyslexia as a real positive. DaVinci was dyslexic, I was reading something by Branson last week and I'm sure that his success is due to dyslexia, 40% of the UK's millionaires are dyslexic. Dyslexic people see the world differently, their brains process information in a different way which means they are often able to see a big picture or another way that most people miss.

deadflesh Fri 12-Jun-09 23:02:05

My ds is just 7 and due to see an Ed Psych next week. He is very similar to your ds. His teacher is concerned at his problems making appropriate friendships with his peers.
It pulls on our hearts too to see his frustrations.
We have paid for an extra two hours per week of one to one tuition from an absolutely brilliant 3rd year teaching student who we found on Gumtree for the past 5mths, and it has been an invaluable boost to his self confidence and literacy/numeracy progress.

gigglewitch Fri 12-Jun-09 23:02:27

my ds1 who is severely dyslexic and very much as you describe, now at the end of Y3, has done fantastically well in his state primary. Friends I have discussed it with have also said that they don't believe the private sector to be able to cope with bright dyslexic children as well as state schools smile

He will get a report from the educational psychologist - assuming that it's an EP who's assessing him - and there will be recommendations on this for provision that the school needs to make to help him. The school then has a clear idea of what he needs, he will have an IEP if he doesn't already have one, and it is reviewed termly. There are lots of ways to help him learn, believe me - and loads of resources made just for the children like ours.

Keep posting - plenty of us in same boat here.
I have days where I wonder what he will be able to achieve in the long term, but I am happy with the support he is getting now and he will achieve because he is bright. It just takes different tactics. Hang in there!

cornsilk Fri 12-Jun-09 23:07:01

My ds is dyslexic. In year 3 his phonics were so poor they were off the scale. Now he's in Year 6 and is reading above his chronological age. He has had lots of help from a specialist SpLD teacher and it's paid off.

gigglewitch Fri 12-Jun-09 23:09:25

wow corny, that sounds fantastic! is the teacher part of the 'school system' or did you find them elsewhere?

cornsilk Fri 12-Jun-09 23:11:59

Part of the school system! Lucky lad!

slowreadingprogress Fri 12-Jun-09 23:12:01

oh my goodness. Thanks. Your posts are so lovely. I can't believe I'm so emotional about this tonight!

That's so helpful Wonderstuff - you've reminded me about the positives of ds, his teacher this year does say he's really good at thinking outside the box.
and deadflesh (great name!) I will certainly consider a tutor, I had considered this in year 1 but discounted it as,due to his motor probs DS was too utterly shattered to do anything extra but he may well be able to tolerate it now

gigglewitch thank you that's very inspiring to know your ds has come along well and is getting good support. I need that hope tonight!

<wrings out hankie>
thanks again!

gigglewitch Fri 12-Jun-09 23:20:00

we go to local "dyslexia assocation" meetings - loads of specialist folk there and an EP runs it, maybe have a hunt round and see if there is anything in your patch? The dyslexia assoc website is fantastic too, i will go off for a linky in a minute. The teachers at the dyslexia support meeetings are always telling ds1 that he will be fantastic when he gets to do a real job, people with dyslexia are fab at work, although they also make it clear to him that he needs to do his best at school too. DS1 lacks confidence, I think many of them do - so no matter how desperate we feel it's vital to keep the confidence going for their sake. DH and I have always have never-ending conversations about ds1's progress, even from when he was a toddler because his learning & development has never been standard or textbook. Find all his strengths and make sure you and he know them. Daily. smile

slowreadingprogress Fri 12-Jun-09 23:23:29

'his learning and development has never been standard or textbook' - that's the nail on the head!!!

I have the details of our local dyslexia action, we'll be getting ds tested through them

giggle and others, what age were your kids formally tested - I've been told now is the right time (7) and not earlier, is that right?

nickschick Fri 12-Jun-09 23:24:39

I dont have personal experience of dyslexia but my ds2 was a dreadfully slow learner when reading sad - turned out he had v poor eyesight,but I used to cry thinking he would never read a menu or an instruction book and how much he was losing by not being able to read.

Slowly but surely he learnt.

Dont worry childhood really is too short to waste and he will learn what his capabilities are and in time fulfill his potential ,surely by having you as his mum worrying over him is evidence he has a supportive family smile.

It will all come together and there is a place for everyone in this big old world.

gigglewitch Fri 12-Jun-09 23:27:11

blush and my grammar has gone too shock but you know what I mean!!

DS1 got to see the EP the week of his 8th birthday, had IEP's since reception, and he had been on action plus for the previous term in order to get the various reports needed before the EP assessment which is the sort of icing round here and the cake has to be done beforehand iyswim hmm grin

gigglewitch Fri 12-Jun-09 23:28:22

Nickschick, that is such a lovely post smile

slowreadingprogress Fri 12-Jun-09 23:45:14

yes it was lovely thank you nickschick smile

It's good to feel we're getting on with things as early as possible really, thanks again gigglewitch!

thanks again to everyone, you have REALLY helped

Am off to bed
x

sphil Fri 12-Jun-09 23:55:54

DS1 (8) is very similar to your DS - dyslexia has been ruled out, but he's just undergoing formal asessment for dyspraxia.
He has made huge progress since he was 6, both academically and socially, though there are still times when other kids (usually the Alpha males in the class) take advantage of his sweet nature and the fact he can't run very fast and falls over easily sad. However, he has found a group of like-minded friends (boys and girls) and is no longer on the edges of groups, as he was nearly all the time when he was 6. I've found a bit of 'friendship manipulation' has helped - inviting kids round who I know have similar interests. Lots of games which develop motor skills - Lego has been a great help to him, as have karate and trampolining.

The other thing to say is that as an ex-secondary school English teacher I taught lots of dyslexic boys (they usually were boys) and many of them made great progress around Years 10-11. This has also happened to my nephew, who is severely dyslexic but on course for a full set of GCSEs at C and above, something that his Mum wouldn't have dreamed of when he was in primary school.

Insanity Sat 13-Jun-09 15:06:41

My son (age 8) is having a dyslexia screening test next week as there have been a few concerns regarding his spelling and writing.

Not quite sure what happens after the testing but I have been doing toe by toe with him since Easter and the teacher has been sending home phonic spellings from younger years to go over at home.

He is a lovely boy, very sporty and defo thinks outside the box!

When he was 6, I was picking the car up from the garage. My son turned to the manager in a front of a full waiting room and told him he knew how to make the garage more money. The manager asked how and my son replied straight faced "You need to raise your prices!"

Millionairein the making grin

mrz Sat 13-Jun-09 15:15:13

I was going to suggest dyspraxia rather than dyslexia given your description of his physical difficulties. We do a very basic screening then I usually ask for children to be referred to an Occupational Therapist.

cory Mon 15-Jun-09 07:16:13

My ds (9) can't keep up with the other children when it comes to motor skills; used to think it was a developmental delay but now realise it's because he's severely hypermobile. He's waiting for referral to an OT, but in the meantime his teacher is really good and supportive; he's had lots of extra support time, and she works hard on getting him to join in.

Socially, he seems to be doing fine; they accept that there are things he can't do. He has even gained confidence enough to join football classes, which he gave up in Yr 2 because he was always messing up for everybody else. These days he seems to be scoring goals.

shelsco Sun 05-Jul-09 15:13:42

slowreadingprogress- did you have to pay for testing through dyslexia action? i had a free consultation with them about my ds and they agreed that many of his difficulties were stereotypical of dyslexia. was told assessment by EP would cost £600. How did you arrange your assessment?

dilemma456 Sun 05-Jul-09 15:43:06

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