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slightly surprised by conversation with the in-laws about higher education.

(12 Posts)
DisasterArea Tue 27-Jan-09 09:42:46

nephew is nearly 15. converstaion went along the lines of him needing to start looking for a job for when he leaves school at 16.
was aghast as nephew is bright. no consideration of college, university, apprentiships nothing. both his mother and my mother-in-law (also her MIL) really think he'll be better off just getting a job.

perhaps this should be an AIBU. but i was sort of under the impression that most young people go on to some sort of learning after 16. i thought to get any sort of job you need some sort of education or skills.

i'm a bit sad for nephew because he could do so much more with some encouragement.

i'm also a bit concerned that when the time comes they'll think i'm the odd one for expecting my DDs to go on further after school.

so do people really just 'get a job' at 16? is that feasable? am i wasting my time wondering how to fund my DDs through university?

mysterymoniker Tue 27-Jan-09 09:45:28

are you the only one in the family who went to university? maybe it's just not their way

yanbu anyway

kando Tue 27-Jan-09 09:50:22

Doesn't your nephew get a say in it then? Don't they go on to 6th form college or something? (Sorry, was educated in Scotland where they don't have separate colleges for a levels).

lljkk Tue 27-Jan-09 10:40:42

They can get a job AND go to college/Uni. Actually, that is what an awful lot of them are doing, nowadays.

newpup Tue 27-Jan-09 10:51:36

University is a fantastic opportunity and one I would love for my girls. BUT only if it is right for them, I do not think it is helpful to anyone to go and get a degree in something impractical and useless and then leave in debt and out of work! DH and I both studied for vocational professions at uni. Perhaps your nephew is not academically inclined or is better off seeking an apprenticeship?

All to often Uni is presented as the only option and a lot of time and money is wasted, when other more appropriate routes are better. However, if your nephew wishes to go to uni or college but is not being encouraged or listened too that is another mattter. Maybe, you could just ask him if he has thought about going and offer him your experience.

newpup Tue 27-Jan-09 10:52:31

Sorry, should be - all TOO often.

mumoverseas Tue 27-Jan-09 11:19:15

That is really sad that he is not getting any encouragement for further education.
I really wanted to go to college when I finished my O levels (showing my age) but my parents (mainly my mother) was insistent that I had to get a job straight away and so I left school on the friday and started my first job on the monday and ended up giving my mum half my weeks salary for board and lodgings. Did several basic dead end jobs for around 4 years before I joined the police force. After a few years I realised I wanted to do more and in my spare time (not that I had much as had a young baby then) I studied law and finally after a very long hard slog I qualified as a lawyer which was very hard whilst working and having one (then two by the time I qualified) DC. I often wish I'd had the chance to go to college/uni.

My eldest is now 15 and part-way through his GCSE's and I have sacrified so much to put him and his sister (12) through private school and am saving for his university fees.
I also have another DD aged 2 and another DC due in 12 days and am already planning for their further education.
DS wants to go to uni and become a barrister. DD wants to become a dancer/WAG but if any of mine want to go to college/uni I want to be in a position to support them.

Pimmpom Tue 27-Jan-09 11:21:20

I think it is the norm to stay on at 6th form or go to college, whether thinking of going to uni or not.

Madsometimes Tue 27-Jan-09 11:47:13

A friend has a son who left school at 16 and went to work, despite gaining 9 good GCSE's. After working for a year, he decided to go to college because he had seen life from the other side (work). It was only by getting a taste of the harsh realities of working life that he knew that he wanted to go to college. For him, it was an early gap year.

So if your nephew does decide to go out to work at 16, it does not mean that the world of further and higher education will be closed to him forever. I would quite like my own dd to take a year out before A'levels, but I doubt that will be possible because school leaving age will be higher by then.

alphabetsoup Tue 27-Jan-09 12:53:00

but he's 15 not 17; op is talking not of university per se, but just continuing his basic education, whether that be A levels or some kind of diploma. It does seem very young to be writing off that part of his development without thinking further about what options are available to him.

Pimmpom Tue 27-Jan-09 13:08:20

Exactly alphabetsoup - You are a long time working so wouldn't want dd to start at 16.

DisasterArea Tue 27-Jan-09 18:30:22

think that is what i find a bit sad. so many years working ahead. seems a shame to have to be an adult already.
not even sure if it's not what he wants anyway. was just shocked that there wasn't even that option.

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