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When and why do children give up music lessons?

(21 Posts)
snailspace Mon 28-Mar-05 15:45:47

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vict17 Mon 28-Mar-05 15:48:39

I took piano lessons for about four years between the age of 11-15 I think. I gave up because I hated my piano teacher and once murmered an expletive about him after a lesson outside his office, only he heard and the next week at my lesson he said 'I wish I could vent my anger like that'. After that I dreaded every lesson and begged my mum to let me give up!! Sorry... not a very ordinary reason!!

Demented Mon 28-Mar-05 15:53:17

I had piano lessons from around 8 right up until I left School at almost 17, I also had oboe lessons from about 12 to leaving School too (in many ways I was the same as your son with this, I didn't practice it nearly as much as I should but was probably better at the oboe than the piano even although I didn't particuarly like the oboe, played in the orchestra too).

Probably depends what your son intends doing, I was all set to go to University to study music, had thoughts of teaching music, and at the last minute took a massive u-turn left School and became a secretary.

Does your son's School offer any options to hire a cello?

I have in the last few months taken up playing the piano again and have bought a Yamaha Clavinova, which apparently are approved by the Royal School of Music. Older Clavinovas are often available for sale on e-Bay.

I understand though that it would be very frustrating to buy these instruments for him just to give up.

snailspace Mon 28-Mar-05 19:30:29

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kama Mon 28-Mar-05 19:31:56

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SeaShells Mon 28-Mar-05 19:39:29

I played cello from about 9-13 when I gave it up as I reached adolensence and thought it was seriously uncool! The fact that I had to drag it to school each thursday and be excused from PE to go and do my lesson didn't help, the PE teachers didn't take too kindly to it and I often got teased for carrying it about.

hunkermunker Mon 28-Mar-05 19:45:39

I played the oboe in school - well, I blew into the thing tunelessly, snapped the reeds (flimsy little blighters) and lugged the thing around, resenting it for existing.

I played it for about a year, I think (or maybe it just felt like that). Teacher was called Mrs Whitehead, which just reminded me of zits

Played the recorder in primary school, or rather moved my fingers on it and pretended to blow while the rest of the class did tricky notes involving thumbnails in the back of the thing.

After the oboe fiasco I realised I wasn't musical, discovered drinking cider in the park and my life took a different turn

bobbybob Mon 28-Mar-05 19:48:58

Not liking the teacher is usually the number 1 reason, shortly followed by not actually wanting to do it and being forced by a parent.

A clavinova isn't a suitable replacement for a piano for the higher grades really. But pianos do keep a lot of their value for resale if you buy one less than say 20 years old.

I teach lots of teenagers who have given up for a couple of years and come back to it (usually they get a bit distracted when they start high school (age 13) and then want to do music as a subject and realise they will need their piano/flute skills, or they want to form a band).

fisil Mon 28-Mar-05 19:53:27

agree about not liking the teacher being a common reason for giving up - so maybe wait until he's settled into secondary school with a new teacher.

I took up piano at 7 and French horn at 11. I've never had a piano as an adult, but would certainly still play it if I did (and play whenever I find one). My parents eventually bought me a horn when I was about grade 6. Until then I'd had to use the crappy rented ones from school. They bought me a brand new but cheap one. I really treasure it, even though I've barely touched it since ds was born!

I never wanted to study music, I refused to do it for GCSE or Alevel because it was my hobby and I wanted something that was just enjoyable. It was my social life throughout secondary school!

Twiglett Mon 28-Mar-05 19:54:52

I found puberty to be the kicker

fisil Mon 28-Mar-05 19:57:14

yes twiglett, but in my case it was great - there aren't many females in the brass section, so I had a steady stream of boyfriends! It would be the same for snailspace's ds as cello sections (and the strings overall) tend to be predominantly female!

noddyholder Mon 28-Mar-05 20:16:49

when the opposite sex becomes more interesting

snailspace Tue 29-Mar-05 00:33:53

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Marina Tue 29-Mar-05 10:16:34

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motherinferior Tue 29-Mar-05 10:19:28

I learned the piano and violin, to reasonably high standards, all the way through school.

I gave up when I left school and left home and could get away from my parents' constant nagging to practise.

Newbarnsleygirlsinsaneknickers Tue 29-Mar-05 10:23:23

I used to play the Clarinet and Drums when I was younger. The drums I didn't do for too long, I started them at senior school and did it for about a year.

The Clarinet I started because my Grandad played it along with the Saxophone and he wanted to teach my cousins and I which we all did. However when we all got to 14/15 yrs we all gave up because we didn't want to be having clarinet lessons every week and wanted to do something else.

Marina Tue 29-Mar-05 20:35:37

Loks like I am the only one who gave up the violin because my parents made me practise in the shed then ...

snailspace Tue 29-Mar-05 23:21:29

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redsky Tue 29-Mar-05 23:46:15

ds, now aged 17, started playing recorder at about 8 and played it obsessively for about a year. He then decided to start flute at age 9 and was playing it really tunefully and practising seriously - every day and sometimes for hours. We really thought he was starting a life-long passion. But quite suddenly he completely lost interest in it and hasn't played a note since he was about 12. We now have a piano for dd and I thought ds might show an interest in that - but he hasn't really! I should also add that ds was on the autistic spectrum, although never diagnosed.

lavenderrr Wed 30-Mar-05 00:00:04

I personally think it's whether you really want to do it or not...I had piano lessons when I was 8 (asked for not given) I never practised and yet my siblings were given lessons and do not play now.....I have this drive within myself which makes me do it, I am 36, play the clarinet too and guess I will play for a long time yet!

ghosty Wed 30-Mar-05 02:07:08

I started to play the flute when I was 11 and had given up by the time I was 13.
The reasons were ... boring teacher ... quite simply.
I think I was too old to start. I couldn't read music and at the same time as learning to play the flute I was learning to read music and it was dull dull dull. A great pity I think as I love the flute ....
The biggest shame of it was that my father was a professional musician (brass instruments) and although he loved it he was playing the trumpet at 8 years old (didn't get a choice, he was in the Salvation Army) ... so he decided not to force us to play and waited for us to decide and we were all too old ... One brother did the trumpet for a year, one did the trombone for a year, sister did violin for a year and I did flute for 18 months. All 4 of us regret not being able to play an instrument ...

So ... DS is 5. When he is 6 he will get piano lessons (he wants to) ... when he can read music and can play a bit he can choose another instrument if he so wishes ... I won't force him to play and if he wants to stop he can but I will try hard to find a decent teacher ....
That's the plan anyway ....

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