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Boys shouting at my DS - what would you do?

(5 Posts)
clary Wed 16-Mar-05 14:45:56

I wonder what anyone thinks about this...
I was walking away from school last night with DS1 (5.5) and some other boys from his class were in the playground of the junior school (picking up big siblings so parents nowhere about) and they started shouting at DS1, really nasty stuff (couldn’t hear clearly but sounded like XXXXX is a poohboy or similar), over and over. DS1 was of course upset, I told him to be a big boy and not react etc. Friend I was walkign with was really quite shocked.
There were 3 boys, one is a good friend of DS1, but the ringleader as it were is a boy who is ahem, undersocialised. His chief method of saying hello is to come up and shout loudly in your face (He seems to do this to everyone, not just DS1). He’s obviouisly gets on ok with my ds in that he invited him to his b/day party last year but I think he just needs to learn that this behaviour is not appropriate.
Thing is...what shall I do? DH is going to mention it to class teacher tonight (tho of course they were technically out of school) but should I say something to the boy’s mum? She’s really nice and a chatting acquanintance iykwim, not a close playdate friend, but it seems a shame to fall out with her. OTOH I feel she should know about her son’s behaviour. What would you do?

marialuisa Wed 16-Mar-05 14:52:04

Don't think I would say anything to the mother but would put it to the teacher in a sort of "if they thought they could do that when there were adults with DS, I'm concerned as to what might happen when they are unobserved in the playground".

Pinotmum Wed 16-Mar-05 15:01:26

I would have shouted over "that's enough of that, I'll be speaking to your mother" in my stern matron's voice. Is that really uncool? I only have a 4 yo and 2 yo so would a 5.5 yo find that embarrassing? Hmmm, difficult isn't it.

TinyGang Wed 16-Mar-05 15:02:05

I agree with marialuisa, the school should be the first port of call really. Does your ds have any problem with the boys during the school day?

The thing is it was upsetting and out of order and most of all unpleasant for your son - and his feelings must come first.

I have had to speak to dd's school about the behaviour of a schoolfriend towards her and the mother now seems to be blanking me, where as before we were chatty. I really couldn't give a stuff tbh. I did what had to be done in the correct way and was discreet about it. None the less I had to say something as the situation was becoming unpleasant for my daughter and I don't regret it.

lars Wed 16-Mar-05 15:34:13

I think I would see how things go and if it doesn't improve I would speak to the mum in a nice way and say could she sort it out as your ds1 wants to be friends with her son and so no and you wouldn't want it to ruin their friendship and least you could then say it's happened a few times rather than just once and you didn't want to go into the school and cause a fuss. larsxx

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