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I have broken my facebook rule am I going to regret it?

(23 Posts)
twinsetandpearls Mon 27-Oct-08 13:03:16

I have a rule that no kids I teach on my facebook account and that includes kids at my old school. I must merrily bat away requests every day.

Last night I had a request from a girl who used to be in my year group who I know was heartbroken when I left. She does struggle a bit socially and she would often sit with me after school for up to 2 hours pretending she had work to do as life at home was not great.

I knew it would upset her if I rejected her so I accepted. Am I going to regret it?

twinsetandpearls Mon 27-Oct-08 13:03:53

I did consider the fact that I have other teachers from the school on my account but I checked and they all have kids on there already.

whoops Mon 27-Oct-08 13:05:12

I know quite a few teachers that have pupils on their fb
but I know some teachers too that aren't supposed to be on fb too!

twinsetandpearls Mon 27-Oct-08 13:11:51

Why would somone not be allowed on facebook? Am confused.

She is not a current pupil, although again I know lots of teachers who do that but I would not.

WhizzzingAroundOnABroomstick Mon 27-Oct-08 13:14:22

Our school has issued guidance that staff must set their accounts to Only Friends on all the privacy settings so that pupils can't find us

misselizabethbennet Mon 27-Oct-08 13:14:53

My sister is a teacher and she always refused friend requests from pupils past and present. She's now shut down her facebook account as she's so concerned about this.

I don't think you can be too careful.

twinsetandpearls Mon 27-Oct-08 13:16:48

Only friends can see my actual account and pictures but I can be searched for.

anorak Mon 27-Oct-08 13:17:52

twinset I was that child.

I wish I'd had someone like you then. I think you are right to trust your instincts and make an exception for this child.

twinsetandpearls Mon 27-Oct-08 13:20:13

That is very kind to say anorak. I have batted away every request even from my sixth formers when I know they are on the accounts of other teachers.

But this girl was heartbroken when I left and I know from talking to colleagues that she is feeling a little lost.

whoops Mon 27-Oct-08 13:20:51

I think the school she teaches at is a private school so they aren't keen on parents or pupil seeing them on fb (not actually sure really!)
Maybe you could have added her with limited profile?
or maybe let her know you saw her friend request but you have a personal preference not to add any pupils?

twinsetandpearls Mon 27-Oct-08 13:23:34

i will alter my privacy settings for her although tbh there are only twee pictures of me and my family on there. But I am more concerned that she will see her present teachers are endlessly pissed and swearing, but as they have pupils on their account I suppose that is there call.

twinsetandpearls Mon 27-Oct-08 13:24:13

I say to kids I teach now who are all lovely that ask to go on my facebook that I never allow pupils on and they accept that.

whoops Mon 27-Oct-08 13:31:29

The other thing is if she has friends from school on her fb are the going to keep requesting you too?
Anoth teacher friend of mine uses a different name on fb so that kids can't find her and tells people her id for fb although that would be a nightmare once you are already set up!

twinsetandpearls Mon 27-Oct-08 13:34:07

I suppose that is a consideration, although I have said no to lots already so can't imagine many more will ask! grin As I no longer teach there I imagine I will be quickly forgotten.

I really cannot be bothered to start a new account again.

WhizzzingAroundOnABroomstick Mon 27-Oct-08 14:22:10

Great - haviong said that - just noticed that one of my FB friends (teacher) has just accepted a current pupil as her friend.
Am now going to feel awful asking said teacher to remove me from her friend list as I do not want pupil to have access to my name/profile hmm
If I delete her as a friend, will she have to do the same on her profile?

twinsetandpearls Mon 27-Oct-08 14:56:31

She will only see your name though, she can't access your photos, wall etc.

WhizzzingAroundOnABroomstick Mon 27-Oct-08 15:52:35

I know but as I am 'only a TA' and 'not a real teacher' kids think it is really funny to know your first name.

twinsetandpearls Mon 27-Oct-08 17:32:54

Had not thought of the first name thing, they all know mine anyway when they see my login page on the whiteboard.

asdmumandteacher Mon 27-Oct-08 19:32:48

I have pupils who i used to teach - my rule is no one who i am currently teaching so all my ex pupils on fb are 19+ (the nice ones i have accepted)

twinsetandpearls Mon 27-Oct-08 20:17:37

I think that is a good way of doing it.
We were joking in the staffroom that you have two kinds of pupil, the type you would say good luck to when they leave and please join my FB list and then the others you can't wait to see the back of.

LRB978 Sat 01-Nov-08 01:10:29

Sorry, am late coming to this, but:


Why not just block said pupil. That way she will not be able to see you, even on your friends list. If you got to account options, it is in ther somewhere, search for the name of the person you want to block and then when it brings up the list, click on the right person and they are blocked from seeing anything to do with you.

VinegarTits Sat 01-Nov-08 01:14:50

Why dont you just have your profile set to private, that way you wont come up in a search, then wont have to 'merrily bat away requests everyday' hmm

hatrickortreat Sat 01-Nov-08 01:18:07

Message withdrawn

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