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At what age does your DC's school make a child wait before using the toilet?

(22 Posts)
dilemma456 Thu 11-Sep-08 08:33:22

Message withdrawn

littlestrawberry Thu 11-Sep-08 09:47:08

Blimey I've never heard such rubbish. DS1 is in Year 1 and I'm sure he doesn't have to wait to use the loo. DS2 has just finished paygroup and he never had to wait. The school he starts at next week has toilets off the classroom so I'm assuming they will just go when they need to.

Its utter nonsense to make young kids wait, they can't! Maybe your friend should have a word with the teachers. Its just setting kids up for failure.

MaryAnnSingleton Thu 11-Sep-08 09:48:50

punishing them for having an accident because they've had to wait is utter,utter madness !

wannaBe Thu 11-Sep-08 09:53:53

bloody hell.

DS is in y1 and the only time they have to wait is if there's already a few of them in the toilets so just having to wait until x/y get back.

I would have strong words with said nursery and would consider reporting them to ofsted tbh.

TheFallenMadonna Thu 11-Sep-08 09:54:22

Well, certainly not up until year 2. Not sure now DS is in year 3. Will ask.

I am a secondary teacher, and I'm pretty strict about it, but even I use my discretion when it comes to true desperation.

MaryAnnSingleton Thu 11-Sep-08 09:58:37

FallenMadonna (just posted something on dissection thread for you) - am interested about the loo thing for yr 7s...ds didn't go at all ther first day- timing issues really - apparently a lot of kids don't use the loos for various reasons - but it seems to be largely because they're having to get from class to class. If ds goes at lunchtime then his lunch is cut short because he hasn't time to finish. Would teachers take into account a boy who is a little slow in organising himself (not deliberately tardy, just anxious in crowds/slight coordination probs so lockers/ packing up etc are time consuming activities)

TheFallenMadonna Thu 11-Sep-08 10:08:24

Oh I am always nice to year 7s at the beginning of the year smile.

He will need to organise himself to use the loo at break and lunchtime though. In time.

WigWamBam Thu 11-Sep-08 10:35:45

I would have my child away from that nursery like a shot. Nursery children should be free to use the toilet whenever they like - without asking at the age of 3, IMO. Punishing a child for having an accident because the staff didn't let them go to the toilet? If it's actually true then it's madness. Ofsted would probably have quite a lot to say about it.

Dd has just gone into Y3, and this is the first time she has been expected to wait until breaktime. Even then it's at the teachers' discretion; if a child is desperate to go then they are allowed to go.

MaryAnnSingleton Thu 11-Sep-08 10:37:56

yes, he is beginning to get the hang of going then !

orangehead Thu 11-Sep-08 10:41:39

My 5 year old still has difficulty waiting. The nursery needs reporting, punishing a child for wetting themself is disgusting and only makes them worry and therefore more likely to wet them selves

mum2ds1 Thu 11-Sep-08 10:49:18

omg how disgusting that anyone should make a 3 year old wait for the toilet angry (obviously if someone using then they would have to wait)
i think this nursery is bang out of order and i would go straight to the head and tell him/her if they continue to treat children like this then i and many other parents will be reporting them to the ofsted and local newspapers.

the staff are obviously ill trained and lazy

i would not have my child treated like that.these poor children have probably only just got the hang of knowing when they need to go anyway.
but to punish them for having a accident is WRONG!angry when my son was in nursery they were self contained and were free to use the toilets as and when required( he is yr 1 now)

smartiejake Thu 11-Sep-08 10:53:07

This is outrageous.

I work in a junior school with 9-11 year olds and although I might tick off a child for requesting the loo straight after break or lunch when they should have gone I would never say no unless it became a regular occurance or if it was only a few mins till the bell when I might make them wait.

Of course there are some who obviously want to skip out of class for a few mins but you get to know who they are.

To make a three year old wait and then punish them for wetting themselves is child abuse!

xserialshopper Thu 11-Sep-08 10:56:32

I had a word with the Head Teacher about letting my ds (aged 6) go to the toilet during lessons as he told me he wasn't allowed to go. He's in year 2. I wouldn't put up with any nonsense about him having to wait until break time.

dilemma456 Thu 11-Sep-08 12:24:17

Message withdrawn

mum2ds1 Fri 12-Sep-08 14:03:35

lol bless hergrin

Elkat Fri 12-Sep-08 15:55:58

No child should be made to wait to go to the toilet. My friend is a nurse in this area and says it is a huge contribution to incontinence later on in life. As a teacher, I have always let my students go to the toilet when they need to, providing they are sensible about it. Perhaps you could point that out to your head? (It is actually part of the staying healthy of our every child matters policy that the students should have free access to water and the toilets) because some teachers don't allow that and they should!

AbbeyA Fri 12-Sep-08 16:01:46

I thought you were going to be talking about a 9 yr old not a 3 yr old!
By the time they get to juniors they should be trying to go at break times (the teacher has to!). However it isn't a good idea to stop them.

Blandmum Fri 12-Sep-08 17:17:08

Current continence advice is that waiting is not a bad thing at all, since it strengthens the muscles involved (talking about adults here)

I have stoped kids from going to the loo (secondary school) when they are 'frequent flyers' who are fairly obviously taking the piss. wink

MummyToOneForNow Fri 12-Sep-08 17:36:56

I'm a secondary teacher and will almost always let a pupil go (no more than one at a time though!). If close to the end of a lesson I ask them to wait so they don't miss homework etc but if they are desparate will still say yes (particularly year 7).

Elkat Fri 12-Sep-08 18:54:16

Look up the bog standard campaign for more info. This is a campaign by ERIC (Education and Resources for Improving Childhood Continence) who are trying to get instant access to toilets for students. This is from their website (adults section)...

"For children to stay healthy, they need to drink water regularly throughout the day. They also need to empty their bladder and bowels regularly and fully when the need first arises."

"There is a widespread expectation that children should go to the toilet at set times irrespective of whether the child needs to, in order to minimise disruption to lessons. It is all too easy to reprimand the child who needs to go during lesson time with "You should have gone at break!" However, having set times for access to the toilet can cause “I’ll go just in case” practices which means the bladder doesn’t get used to holding on until it’s full. Over time, the bladder capacity can reduce, increasing the need to visit the toilet more frequently. At the same time, the amount of fluid a child can drink before needing to go to the toilet is reduced. This results in a vicious circle. A child may consciously or unconsciously ration their fluid intake, or avoid drinking altogether, if they fear not being able to go to the toilet when they need to."

They're pretty clear about what they state to be best practice - free access to toilets. I'd print it off and show it to the school.


Elkat Fri 12-Sep-08 18:56:02

Their website is...

cory Fri 12-Sep-08 21:21:16

Here it's junior school (age 7/8) and even so, a child with difficulties will always get a toilet pass.

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