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Do you ever feel that certain parents are TOO involved with school?

(32 Posts)
Orinoco Tue 09-Sep-08 19:16:28

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Ripeberry Tue 09-Sep-08 19:26:02

We'll they could say that about our pre-school committee as it's ALWAYS the same people who are on it and do the bulk of the helping out.
Maybe you should volunteer to be on the governors!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Orinoco Tue 09-Sep-08 19:30:13

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Overmydeadbody Tue 09-Sep-08 19:30:56

Maybe she just doesn't like staying at home doing nothing.

hippipotami Tue 09-Sep-08 19:32:16

If Mrs X was not helping your child would be missing out.
Also, how do you know she is not on a list of 'emergency TAs' which the school call upon when they need a TA. She obviously loves teh school and its environment and the school obviously need her otherwise they would not ask her to do so much.
Perhaps she is hoping for a job there soon and this is her way of getting the proverbial foot in the door.

Also, would you rather lots of strangers are involved in teh school, or less people who know the school adn the school knows them.

This lady obviously does not need to work and chooses to spend her time in a worthwhile manner helping the school.

What exactly is it you are worried about?

Orinoco Tue 09-Sep-08 19:41:07

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Hulababy Tue 09-Sep-08 19:44:41

She may be experienced/qualified and that is why she is there. She may have volunteered, and been taken up on her kind offer.

I volunteer in DD's school - also a small school - two days a week. I help out in the infant classes. I volunteered and was taken up on my offer. I am a qualified teacher, with over 9 years experience, although no longer work as a teacher and was secondary, rather than primary. However, I want to update my classroom skills and experience, want to know more about early years teaching and hvave considered doing some TA type work when DD is a bit older. I am due to be CRB checked for the school so I can do more work with the children without a teaching having to be present, and also to go on their supply teacher list so I can cover lessons when the class teachers may be absent.

I would hate for parents to be thinking this about me.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hulababy Tue 09-Sep-08 19:52:07

Still trying to decide whether to do the TA course or not. I obviously already have full teaching degree and teaching experience. Just don't know if a TA qualification might help later on if I decide to look for a TA job, or whether my teaching qualifications and my volunteer experience will be enough.

cory Tue 09-Sep-08 20:18:47

Oh, I thought this was going to be a post about one of those pushy parents who are forever in and out of the school telling the teacher how to teach little Jason, not about a woman doing useful work. She sounds great- encourage her!

aintnomountainhighenough Tue 09-Sep-08 22:44:51

Orinoco - no I don't think it is sour grapes at all and I can see where you are coming from. Sometimes there are people who just seem too involved. If she is a qualified TA then all well and good, but is she? I live in a small village and it seems very much like this - that it is always the same people. Before I get shot down in flames - I know people who have tried to become involved but their offers have not been accepted. As regards the posters comment about 'does not need to work' - good lord what century are you living in - some of us go to work because we like it and don't feel we need to fill our time like this. I could say perhaps she doesn't work because she isn't qualified enough to have a good enough job to work to pay for childcare etc (bvut of course that would get shot down in flames!). Whilst I think many helpers are worth their weight in gold I don't think this is always the case!

thingamajig Tue 09-Sep-08 22:55:16

My mum was one of these. And she also ran every club, sport, Brownies etc activity in the village. And I never got away from her and I hated it.

hippipotami Wed 10-Sep-08 07:55:27

Oh ffs aintnomountain - I put does not need to work because if she did she would not be at teh school all teh time.

Stop picking holes in other's people's posts.

This lady wants to help at teh school, you want to work. Where is the problem?

tegan Wed 10-Sep-08 08:07:07

orinoco - i am that mother, obviously not at your dd's school but i too am vice chair of pta, have just finished as a governor and help out whenever and wherever possible but i also am the chair at playgroup and do duties even though dd2 has just started school, i am also 29wks pg so will be involved with both school and playgroup for many years to come. Honestly tell me what i am doing wrong because from my point of view i am not being paid for anything i do but if you were to add up all the weekly hours i spend i could have a very well 9-5 paid job.

Hulababy Wed 10-Sep-08 08:24:21

aintnomountainhighenough - some of us go to work because we like it and don't feel we need to fill our time like this

That comes across really judgemental sorry. I work, in a paid job. But I don;t actually find it that fulfilling TBH. But I stay there at present as it pays the bills (I nly do two days), it is very flexible (good for working round school stuff) and it keeps my skills increasing. However, I still go into school two days a week - and it is that which I love. I don't do it "to fill my time like this." I do it because I really really enjoy it. I am gaining no skills and experience, and the children benefit too.

If the school are not offering other ofers of work, then yes - maybe it seems odd. But there may then be more toit. This woman may have a qualification or experience that is useful to the school.

I think you need to cut her some slack. Doesn;t sound like she is doing anything wrong. She is helping out, helping other children and doing something nice, surely?

Anna8888 Wed 10-Sep-08 08:27:49

I sympathise with the OP to some extent.

There women who are involved in every single last school/community activity to an annoying extent and you can never get away from them. There is a woman at my daughter's school like this - an American woman who has hijacked the English-speaking part of the PTA (among other things). She doesn't actually have that much that is useful to contribute and she turns off other people (who might have a more useful contribution) because they don't want to be associated with her particular brand of do-gooding.

fircone Wed 10-Sep-08 10:04:17

I am very grateful for parents' support at the dc's school - there are some who make a huge contribution. And it lets me off the hook! grin

But - what is irritating are those women who swan. I liken it to a WRVS volunteer at the hospital believing they're a consultant. I mean, really, if someone has kindly volunteered to wash paint pots/help with reading/assist with netball it does not give them the right to walk around as if they own the place and look incredibly pleased with themselves because they can use the teachers' urn.

When I've helped out I've slunk around looking terribly 'umble and done much tugging of forelock to those in authority.

Hulababy Wed 10-Sep-08 10:08:09

Well, I hope I don't look like I swan when I am there.

But I do feel pretty comfortable and confident int he environment. I am used to being in the school environment as I was a teacher, so feel really at home. I feel confident to go around and help in class, make comments in reading record books, mark classwork, etc. as it is what I am qualified to do.

I just hope everyone at DD's school knows that I am there for good reasons, not to lord it up at all. I don;t do PTA pr anything else, so fingers crossed.

ForeverOptimistic Wed 10-Sep-08 10:11:25

I think it is quite sad that you can't do right for doing wrong these days.

hana Wed 10-Sep-08 10:12:29

Hulababy - would you really want to be a TA after being a teacher? different roles and all of that.

Hulababy Wed 10-Sep-08 10:17:12

hana - yes, I think so. I am loving it on a volunteer basis. I would be choosy over the school I took a job in though. I don't want the teacher workload and stress anymore that teaching brings. I like the TA role of doing all the good bits, but without the extra 2 hours work at home everynight, and the getting into school an hour before it starts, etc. As you say, it is different roles. I think as an ex-teacher I ca benefit a school a lot in the TA role, and it works better for me and what I want out of a job at the moment.

tatt Wed 10-Sep-08 10:19:07

just skimming this - but yes, I am concerned for a friend who is so involved with school that I don't know how she will cope when her children leave. I don't feel its healthy for her to focus her life so heavily on the children. She's also very unhappy that other people do less.

Yours does sound like sour grapes, though, ornoco. Contact the PTA secretary and make it clear you want to receive minutes of meetings and they should see you're kept informed.

Schools tend to use the same people for everything partly because of the hassle of getting people vetted and partly because some people can be relied on to turn up while others make promises they don't keep. A reliable helper therefore gets called on often.

wannaBe Wed 10-Sep-08 10:24:37

being a TA is a great way to get back into teaching.

mother of child in DS' class was ex teacher and when her dd starte d school she got a TA job to get back into the classroom environment after being out of it for 7 years. When a teaching job came up at the school she applied and got it - the TA job she did for a year was a good way to ease her back in but without throwing her into the deep end, until she was ready to go back into teaching.

I am on the PTA, I am a governor and I help out wherever possible. When the TA has been off sick I have gone in to help not because I was asked but because I was aware that the TA was off sick and the teacher was therefore under more pressure and so have offered to come in and the teacher has been very grateful.

This parent in question might have done the same. Or if she's there regularly she may be the one the teacher thought to ask because she knows her and has a good rapport with her and the children know her.

If you want to help out then you have to be pro-active ime. Often teachers won't ask because it is volunteers they need, and asking is like admitting they need help and that's not something a lot of teachers want to do.

So approach the teacher after school and say "I'm available all next week and I was wondering if I could come in for a morning and help out in any way? Maybe... oh I don't know... thursday? or whichever morning is best for you".

The ones that do annoy me are the ones that go in and then walk around the playground pretending they are some sort of authority in the school and know everything, when in fact they rarely know anything.

Mercy Wed 10-Sep-08 10:25:21

I also sympathise with the OP to an extent.

There is one particular parent who is involved with seemingly everything at the school, despite there being several volunteers who are just as or more capable - but they (including me) rarely get offered the chance to help out.

It a def a bit of 'power' thing for her; she tells us how she often she goes to see her dc classteachers to complain about something and how she has the ear of the senior staff.

She is a pushy parent alright!

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