Does your four year old play with friends or on his own?

[ChocolateGirl]

Does anyone else's four year old seem to enjoy playing on his own more than with his friends? We have gone out to a few places with my son's friends and their mums this week and my son has virtually ignored his friends and just played on his own. They are family friends, the same age, not school friends, and he hasn't seen them for a while - and I thought he would be really pleased to see them but he just didn't seem interested at all.

Is this normal? I suppose I just worry that he isn't socialising and/or making friends (he has a few problems with his speech) - but he seems to get invited to parties at school and his teacher says he is happy, sociable and confident, so hopefully I am worrying needlessly.

[MrsFROSTgetful]

bump.......will post tomorrow!

suggest you post this on the Special Needs thread too...as there are some great people there!!!! (not saying he's special needs etc!!!)

[MrsFROSTgetful]

will he play/interact with you- does he bring things to show you or seek out your help?

is he able to play imaginitively? role/pretend play etc....as if he finds this hard he may struggle when his friends are pretending to be police/doctors/cowboys etc.

is he dominant or submissive...can he take the lead in a game...as well as 'do what the others are doing'.....

the reason i ask all this is that he may just like doing his own thing....may be happy doing that....

[ChocolateGirl]

Yes, to all the things you mention, including being dominant and submissive!

I feel a bit better today as he had a school friend round to play this morning and they seemed to get on well (although I did sticking and baking with them so they were highly supervised most of the time).

I'll pop it on the Special Needs board and see what people say.

Thanks for responding.

[MrsFROSTgetful]

sounds like an independant confident lad to me.


i asked all these things as 2 of my 3 boys have Asperger's syndrome....and they have difficulties with all the things i asked you in my last post!

[ChocolateGirl]

Thanks for posting again, Mrs F. I feel better today as he has seen various children over the last few days and interacted with them well. I've talked about it with other people too and they think I'm worrying needlessly, so probably just an over-reaction on my part. I suppose all parents worry about something or other. Thanks again for posting.

How old are your boys and how are they geting on?

[MrsFROSTgetful]

hope you are still feeling positive....thinking about ways to help....just askXX

[Gobbledigook]

So maybe it's just that he was shy around the friends he's not seen for a while? 'A while' to you is a very long time to a 4 yr old.

If he's confident and sociable at school I don't think you need to worry - and even if he is a quiet boy there's nothing wrong with that - not everyone can be outgoing.

I've got 1 ds who is so sociable it's untrue and not phased by anything and another ds who is painfully shy. It is heartbreaking as obviously it's nicer to see them run off to join friends happy and smiling but just not everyone is like that.

[MrsFROSTgetful]

yes- agree- forgeting my son's do have SEN/ASD etc....we are all 'allowed' to be quiet/solitary/withdrawn at times.... sometimes we just need time to be ourselves.....and children deserve that to!

Common mistake i make is i worry when they are quiet going to school in the car (they are normally noisy!) ...so i used to start what quickly became an interogation as to how happy they were or otherwise felt!

Now....after many arguements as they felt fine and i couldn't accept that....well.... i ask how they are...they say fine...i say that's good ...i smile ....and they smile back.