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Do children change for the worst when they start school ???

(15 Posts)
mummyloveslucy Sun 27-Jul-08 19:47:42

I've recently heard a few people saying that children change when they start school and that it's like they are not the same children. They pick up bad habbits/ language etc. Is this true and what can be done to stop this happening?
My daughter has such a gorgeous, caring personality I really don't want her to change in any way. She has lovely mannars, which seems to be rare in children today.
I just wondered what you're views are on this? Thanks. smile

lljkk Sun 27-Jul-08 19:50:28

I wouldn't say so. I've 2 at school, 1 about to start.

mummyloveslucy Sun 27-Jul-08 19:52:27

Oh good. smile

LIZS Sun 27-Jul-08 19:52:42

no I would n't have said so. They pick up phrases from teachers and trends from other kids but not necessarily bad ones and ime it is more of an issue that they get tired and behaviour can deteriorate due to that and illness. Obviously if the school doesn't have clear rules and discipline it might become an issue but even if they don't tolerate the negatives and reinforce the positives fo behaviour then any bad influences can still be countered at home anyway.

Takver Sun 27-Jul-08 19:53:53

Didn't notice any particular change in my dd. But then before school she went to playgroup, also to a childminder 2 days a week, so she had a pretty well formed group of friends before starting school and tended to hang out with them mostly in the early days.

mummyloveslucy Sun 27-Jul-08 19:55:25

Thanks LIZS.

MingMingtheWonderPet Sun 27-Jul-08 19:57:08

Agree with LIZS. They pick up phrases that you might not use at home, but not esp rude (can't think of an example now!) and learn silly words to existing nursery rhymes, and silly jokes that you have to laugh at a million time, but overall they remain the same child smile. The tiredness makes them grouchy at first.

My DS was pretty 'square' when he started school, and overall he still is!

mummyloveslucy Sun 27-Jul-08 19:57:24

Takver, I guess that would help a lot. That way you have a pretty good idea of the children she will be sociolising with. wink

mummyloveslucy Sun 27-Jul-08 20:00:23

Thanks everyone for putting my mind at ease. Do you think they are trying to worry me, as they know how protective I am over my daughter ? hmm

MingMingtheWonderPet Sun 27-Jul-08 20:04:47

No. It is just something that people feel they have to say, like a received wisdom.
They begin to grow up, of course, but their core personalities remain, ime

mummyloveslucy Sun 27-Jul-08 20:42:05

Oh that's good.

mimsum Sun 27-Jul-08 20:59:46

dd was hideous when she first started school through sheer tiredness, but only at home - she morphed into beast child as she stepped over the classroom threshold having been angel child for the teacher all day

she's still angel child at school but by about easter this year (reception) she seemed to have got to grips with the tiredness and has been much more pleasant to pick up - taking a snack helps even though we only live two roads away, and I wouldn't arrange too many after school activities or play dates for the first term as they really need to veg out and chill for a while

Beauregard Sun 27-Jul-08 21:02:57

My dd changed a hell of a lot when she started school 2 years ago,she can be truly vile at home although the teachers always compliment us on her behaviour during schoolhmmI do feel that school changed her though,whether this change was inevitable and herjust growing up anyway i dont know and never will.

ReallyTired Sun 27-Jul-08 21:47:53

I think that young children are often very tired and ratty when they start school. Its a long day and a lot is expected of them. Tired children can vile.

However my son becomes the lovely little boy I know in the holidays and at weekends when he is less tired.

AbbeyA Mon 28-Jul-08 08:06:10

She won't change in personality but as others have said-she may be very tired.The school will probably get the best and you will get the worst! I haven't experience of girls but boys will pick up sorts of toilet jokes which they think hilarious-but thankfully grow out of!

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