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moving house and scool and disruption of children's education...

(21 Posts)
Stephen99 Wed 09-Jul-08 21:55:47

...what's the received wisdom on this?

we don't need to move, but just seem to think we all could benefit from a move away from where we live (and come from - we've lived all over the place before nippers, incl abroad, but moved back here to 'settle down' when we got married, and it's worked out brilliantly).

our children are nearly 7 (startin yr 3 in sept), 4 (starting reception in sept) and o.6 (n/a, obv!)

they're bright and we've taught them the proper attitude to school and learning and they know its important to be good, work hard and enjoy themselves whilst at school.

i'd like them to do really well academically (as we have), so how will moving around affect them academically, socially, developmentally etc?

we're a good little team and i feel we could live on the moon and enjoy it and be v v happy together, but obviously we'd like to do all i can to ensure they're in a position to do well for themselves, be happy and make a good adult life for themselves when the time comes.

we've got this plan at the moment to move to the country/coast for a few years and then move to bath/wilts area on a more permanent basis.

i'll stop rambling now, but the jist is: are we being unrealistic/bonkers? will our kids turn out to be mentallists if we keep moving around?

what think ye?

Stephen99 Wed 09-Jul-08 21:57:25

oops! spelt school incorrectly in thread title...so much for the imortance of education smile

Stephen99 Wed 09-Jul-08 21:58:09

bollocks! and importance! blush

palaver Wed 09-Jul-08 22:00:44

I don't think it's a problem whilst they are in primary, but secondary is more of an issue because of GCSEs

guyane Wed 09-Jul-08 22:13:56

You've hit the nail on the head with highlighting the importance of your family unit. That will take you anywhere. If you're in mainstream education then be prepared for criticism if you move around too much. If you're more independent-minded, and your children are bright enough, then only worry about exams a couple of years before they are due... provideed the groundwork is done (literacy, numeracy, creativity...) then they'll be fine. Just make sure they know you are listening to them - our ten-year old was willing to move completely away from the UK but soon expressed a strong desire to 'grow up in England' - we moved back, for term time anyhow!!
Best of luck. There are so many different ways of education in this world - don't get stuck with the UK (state education) if you can find better.

mazzystar Wed 09-Jul-08 22:32:27

I think its really nice to come from somewhere in particular, to have known it well and grow up there - even if you get the hell out at 18.

I moved schools four times as a child and it was bloody awful at the time and now as an adult I have very few strong roots in any particular place.

Stephen99 Wed 09-Jul-08 22:43:16

wow...thanks for the swift responses. we're sat on the couch pondering our future. it's crossroads time!

i think the eldest should be settled in his secondary 2 years before his gcses (this gives us 5 years from now)...does this sound about right? (assuming he's up to speed with everything, of course).

gcses and a levels are the foundation and gateway to a proper education, aren't they? i'm a bit conservative about this, but i really think that exam passes are important. they offer you choices and open doors. you can't deny that. and i can't possibly deny our nippers their chance to do well in this area.

so 5 years on the beaches and mountains of north west wales it is then! that'll give em some gumption before knuckling down to some academic rigor and culture back in civilised barth. easy decision, eh?!

strong-minded 10 yr old, guyane! he/she sounds a corker. hee hee.

i am quite conservative educationwise, though. definitely no home schooling or anything too non-mainstream for us, i don't think. but i'd love to give them (and me and dw), the chance to experience something a bit different during their young lives.

Stephen99 Wed 09-Jul-08 22:52:57

i saw mazzy star live on later with jules holland in around 1994. johnny cash was on the same bill if i recall. what was their main song again?

thanks for the sobering note as well...x posted with mine.

good point of course...i don't want to move too much though, just a couple of times. i'm hoping we'll be ok all together.

and to be honest, i'm not really sure about people who leave their home town as soon as poss and then sometimes do it down at any opportunity... they tend to think that everywhere other than london/new york/paris/wherever thay are is not worth living in...a bit of a bug bear of mine, that way of thinking wink

Romy7 Thu 10-Jul-08 11:00:52

dd2 is in her fourth school in year 3.
she's v bright, and v happy. we move in the summer so she hasn't had to start anywhere mid-term. in september it will be the first time she will go back to a school for the second year grin
we have already realised that if we move again in summer 09 (likely), we can only stay there two years before we need to be in one place for secondary...
in our case it has made no difference to the 3 dcs - unless to enable them to make new friends easily... but there would be children who would find it more difficult i'm sure.

LyraSilvertongue Thu 10-Jul-08 11:03:22

Minea re now in primary school and tbh I wouldn't move them if I didn't have to.
They love their school and the disruption, while they may recover from it well in time, doesn't seem worth it.
My ex and his brother moved around a lot when they were children. My ex was fine but his brother didn't fare so well and he's turned out to be a bit of an oddball as a result.

mazzystar Thu 10-Jul-08 11:35:38

Didn't mean to sound so glum in my post. I was an only child so I think that exacerbated my feelings of disruption and dis-location at the time. I always made friends very quickly - still do - whether that is because or despite of moving about so much I am not sure. Children are very adaptable and if they have to move they cope.

I just have a certain wistfulness about the idea of coming from somewhere, it being part of me and me part of it and it is something I would like to have for my children.

Romy7 Thu 10-Jul-08 11:40:05

mazzy - we do that with my home town for the dcs. we got married there, gps live there - went back to christen all the dcs there, etc etc.
they are nomads though, really - although two were born on the same continent hmm

mazzystar Thu 10-Jul-08 11:45:31

Romy that's interesting.
I can also see that of you are travelling about internationally this offers such a variety of different experiences and possibly different cultures that it can be a really positive thing.
BTW Stephen if I had a hometown I'd never slag it off! But DH and I are having to grow our own roots where we have settled [Liverpool incidentally] , and we are aware that they will never be as deep and as strong for us as for people who grew up here.

Romy7 Thu 10-Jul-08 11:57:44

not internationally since dc3 was born unfortunately, but still been north to scotland and in two places down south in the last four years.
i think as long as your employment is portable then broadening horizons can be a fantastic thing for little people.
although we are probably off o'seas next time to decide if we'll stay there or come back in time for secondary...
decisions decisions.
enjoy your travels!

Stephen99 Fri 11-Jul-08 00:02:26

that's a coincidence, maz...however, i think we're soon to be leaving...in allerton atm. where r u?

fade into you...good oddball, maudlin group, i like your thinking.

listen to wishful thinking by china crisis on youtube..similar doleful lament. makes me feel nice.

i digress.

thanks, romy. would love to move abroad, but not really had (or looked) for the opportunity on a permanent basis...lots of nice little trips though! portable employment in uk only for me...but it'll mean alot more driving if we do move to the seaside/contry as we're thinking. doesn't faze me though.

we really do just fancy a move. am sure the nippers will be ok, although have spoken briefly to our eldest today. said he'd miss his three big friends too much to leave and swap schools. but he was cheered by the fact that they could come and stay with us.

it's the 2 eldest that would be at the forefront of the move as dw is still on mat leave and i'd just work as normal...am hoping (and expecting) that they'd be as great as they normally are.

they're great children. i don't wanna fuck them up.

bollocks to it, they'll be fine and their little lives enhanced forever. <<christ i hope we're right emoticon>>

Romy7 Fri 11-Jul-08 11:16:43

mine would move to the sea on a heartbeat - we've done mountains, but not water yet...

wishing you the very best adventuring!

HonoriaGlossop Fri 11-Jul-08 12:08:34

I agree with mazzy about it being a special thing to have a 'place' that is constant and part of you....and with lyra that I would not move a school age child at all unless it was an absolute necessity.

Children do adapt yes if there's no option - but to be honest my own personal view is that an extremely secure childhood where they don't chop and change schools is going to prepare them for moving on/moving around/experiencing the world when they are young adults. I don't think the best time to do it is when you're still a child. There are other ways of enriching their lives and experiences during childhood without actually living in other paces.

The people I have met who have moved a few times during childhood have to a person not said it was a good thing for them.

However I'm sure someone will now post saying they moved a hundred times and loved it!

mumblechum Fri 11-Jul-08 12:12:32

When our ds was little we moved from Liverpool to N Yorks to Bucks, and certainly didn't do him any harm at all, he's a v. sociable dude and doing well at grammar.

I wouldn't move during secondary education unless absolutely necessary, but primary schools? No problem.

MsDemeanor Fri 11-Jul-08 12:21:41

Why do you want to keep moving house?

palaver Fri 11-Jul-08 12:39:54

I think it's a fab idea to spend a few years of childhood on the coast. Your children will have a great time and you should definitely do it.

In later years they will probably go back for holidays there and relive their childhood memories ( just like I do on the south coast)

Stephen99 Mon 14-Jul-08 11:12:11

thanks for your thoughts everyone...been away for a while.

hey md...why indeed? why indeed?

dont know, we just fancy it.

i lived with my parents in the same house all my childhood, so no history, but, well, dunno really.

think it would be v v v pleasant and good for family.

the only thing i'm worried about is moving away from grandparents. upsetting for everyone. especially them. really difficult. really, really difficult.

viewwing houses on thursday...gulp.

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