Hermione Granger/Snape situation happening at school. LONG and incognito(27 Posts)
WHM I don't have any solutions sorry but many sympathies its a horrid postition to be in.
I would set up a meeting with all involved and ask for school governor to be present. Ask if there are learning mentors at the school to offer her a sanctuary if feeling unhappy.
Alternatively get in touch with her new school & get some work set up & home ed her for the last term- that'll get her out of SATS & TBH that last term is just a time filler anyway in a lot of schools.
At least then she'll be happier & refreshed to start her new school.
Not a perfect solution but a whole term of crap like this could be a real drain on her & the whole family.
william, is the problem that you can't come up with suggestions for a compromise/solution without acknowledging sil's flounciness? Agree that would be hard (even though said flounciness sounds well deserved).
Could DB be the active one in this? raye's suggestion for big meeting is a good one. If you stress that this is about a CHILD, not a parent, or a lifestyle, then that can sometimes shock people out of behaving badly.
So my approach would be to answer every point of theirs with something along the lines of 'and yet a 12 yr old child might ... experience that as hurtful/ not understand/was probably just expecting you to be pleased for her etc etc.
and I've found that starting with 'there seems to be a problem (vague)' and wondering how they think it can be resolved can be rewarding.. give them enough rope etc.
they do sound like cunts though, if that helps.
but I bet you're slightly tingling at being addressed as 'william' though, aren't you? perv
has dn got a huge social network at school? Sounds possible that answer is no.. in which case, home ed? seriously. Am not fan in the general way of things, but.. I can't imagind DB/SIL being happy with many outcomes at school, and since they're unlikely to change their personalities in the near future this might be a solution. DN could then start new, GT-supportive school with a huge enthusiasm for making friends, if only to get away from her parents...
the thing is as most people know the governors and the teaching staff will tend to stick together- unfortunately for your brother and his family they stuck up for wht they beleived to be right and have 'upset' the applecart any action they can take is likely to take longer thn term and if the younger sibling is likely to be staying at that school it would make a bad situation worse.
so imo you either withdraw child from school and H.E or try another school for a term,or she grins and bears at not ideal i know and please dont misinterpret what advice im saying next because i mean no malice even gifted and talented children have to ccept tht there will be times shes is disliked and sometimes its not down to g&t sometimes it is the very personlity of teacher-child.......i speak from experience my eldest is g&t (without an ounce of comon sense) and middle son was home educated for 3 years cos we really did burn our bridges defending our fmily.
very hard sitution for you i know but it will soon be over and new phse will begin.
several years ago a doctor signed ds1 off school and we had a home tutor paid for ......is tht worth thought? if your dn was becoming v upset etc ??
If he can HE, practically speaking, then I would do that for a term.
imagine that there's a worry that dn2 will suffer if school feels slighted bcs dn1 is removed. though it might be that she is already perceived to be the non-troublesome sister (ie favourite) and that it would all be fine, better, in fact. Esp with a tiny bit of strategic flattery about how they wouldn't dream of taking dn2 out because she's so happy here etc etc..
Stress to db that happiness of dn2 is more important that having the final word..!
It does sound to me as if the relationship with the school has broken down to such an extent that they really need to take both children out.
This is not really a matter of who is right and who is wrong its a matter of the welfare of the children.
However if they do wish to try and repair things, and why not, they should make a formal complaint in writing to the chair of Governors and say that they are keen to try mediation. The chair is then obliged to try and set a mediation session up. if it fails then nothing further has actually been lost.
(A formal complaint hearing before a Governor's panel would probably just waste everyone's time try for mediation.
The DN is taking SATs so that implies that she is in Year 6. But she is also taking the 12+ exam so that implies that she is in Year 7? (Or has she taken it a year early?)
Don't the current school want/need G&T DN to boost their SATs results? Doesn't that give your DB & SIL some leverage in negotiations?
Why would you fall out over this? You really don't need to. Their child, their decision, their mistake. It is lovely that you care so much but you need to put some perspective on this.
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