Do you think school changes children?(16 Posts)
In the next year I will be starting my first dd at school. We're looking at all options at the moment, including home schooling. I'm sure mainstream education is different to when I was at school but I wondered if all you more experienced mums could tell me changes for better and worse you've noticed in your children since they started school.
Mog my dd is just at nursery but would say being with a large group of children is bound to have an effect on an individual. For my dd the most noticeable changes have been for example learning to 'share' her best friend with others and learning a bit of independance. Think they learn as much from the other kids as they do from 'teachers' so they learn how to function in society - realising they're not always number one, getting boosts from achievements such as learning a new song, but also learning how to deal with disappointments.
Well, you lose the last vestiges of being able to shelter your child from inappropriate language/behaviour/TV/toys...stand by to hear your dd come out with epithets such as "sexy", "poo-poo-head" and expletives, our favourite being "what the fig", which I was assured is serious swearing by ds (now 5.5).
The PE is brilliant at ds' school and he is MUCH more physically confident, happy to do lively stuff, and generally more active. That is a huge plus.
I love that he can read now, enjoys it, and writing too. Visits to museums, films, the theatre and such are easier now that he has the knack of concentrating on one thing for a good length of time.
I love that he can come home and tell me all about his teacher's husband's parachute jump for Darfur, and we can chat about famine relief and helping people in the world who are not as lucky as us.
He is still very much the same child, but after a year at school he is more sociable, more confident and more robust.
We have been extremely lucky with his school, a small one outside the state system which does a lot of music, PE and learning through play in the early years. We had major misgivings about the National Strategies and although home ed was not an option for us, we did not want Literacy and Numeracy Hours, nor KS1 and SATs.
Good luck with your search for the right education for your dd.
Ds1 seems to have become somehow more 'grown-up' since starting school in September. He has started to become more independent. His confidence has also increased.
He has SN so he gets extra help at school. 12 weeks ago he couldn't even hold a pencil properly (he used to grip the top with his fingertips). 12 weeks later he can write his name and draw simple pictures.
The downside to school is that he copies everyone else's words/expressions. The latest is to tell me "You're a bossypants" if I ask him to do something he doesn't want to do. There's also the neverending letters coming home about the latest round of headlice but that's a different thread!
Yes new words ARE a problem. Yesterday I got 'Oh my God I'm Hungry - and I'm bloody thirsty too?!'. Zoyks.
Mog, Marina has summed it up really well for me. My dd is in Year 2. I am constantly amazed at the things (good and bad) that she learns at school that are way outside of the National Curriculum!. Just before the holidays started one of her classmates' adoption was finalised and the whole class discussed what this meant. The teacher (who is just fabulous, I won't be surprised if she is the best teacher my dd ever has) was crying because she was so happy for the little girl, and also because she had adopted a little boy herself a few years ago and it bought back memories for her. Dd was amazed at it all, she was so interested in what had happened and so happy for her classmate.
On the other side she has picked up the really annoying habit of shouting "loser" gleefully and holding her thumb and forefinger up in the shape of a(n?) "L". Oh and one of the boys in her class has been telling everyone very strange tales of how babies are made...
yes they do change - for better AND worse
When dd1 left her nursery in July, ready to start reception in September, the Nursery leader said to me "You have now come to the end of the time when you had total control over xxx's life". I was terrified but I can now she what she meant and it has already been summed up by posters here. What she went on to say was that we had given dd1 the best start in life, she was happy, secure, safe and supported and that that would sustain her throughout any tough time she might face.
Dd1 is 4.6 and has matured amazingly since September. She is so proud of her achievements and loves telling me new things she has learned. She talks non stop about her new friends and is really enthusiastic about what is going on at school.
She does come into our bed most nights at the moment, though, which I take to be a quiet acknowledgement that she wants to make sure she's still totally protected even though she's working hard at being self reliant during the day. I think you're in for an exciting and encouraging time.
Batters- LOL about the babies. My DD is in Year 2 and I have always just told her that babies come out of tummies (to me its not a lie as her and her brother were both c/s) but she informed me quite forcefully the other day and in a disgusted tone that babies come out of bottoms and she was never ever having any!!
Children change anyway, once they discover something new. Probably the only thing that really annoyed me when all three of mine started school was that they all suddenly developed absolutely appalling accents. They all went from speaking very nicely to having broad yokshire accents, within a few months (CRINGE).
Perhaps, I should also admit that my own speech went the same way when I went back to college, then university at 29 (TIME FOR DH TO CRINGE).
and that should be 'yorkshire'...not yokshire!!
Yes ds1 suddenly seems to have a whole new accent too. He also now drops T's and H's all over the place. Dh has given up trying to correct him.
Definitely. You do lose control over who they see and what they do. That is both good and bad. Children need to grow away from their parents and learn that there are other ways of looking at the world (all wrong of course ). That does mean they pick up words you'd rather they didn't use, although I love what a fig. Must try that on mine. They also acquire nits, may be victims of bullying, are less likely to make friendships outside their age group and have the opportunity to be part of a team.
Going to school is part of developing their independence. If you home educate you probably need to make more effort to ensure that and its a big commitment. Schools now are a lot nicer places than when I went to one.
I'd take a Yorkshire accent any day over the Norfolk one DS seems to be picking up!
DS (reception) somehow seems to not be picking up TMNT or Power Rangers, which I think is kind of amazing, and I really don't want him getting into that stuff, yet. Most of the other boys seem mad keen on those TV programs/brands. There's a lot of violence, too, in the playground -- DS is always saying things like "Jack's alright, he doesn't hurt me." I do feel like the school has stolen DS away from me, never thought I'd feel like that.
On the plus side, though, he is very keen on learning, gets a lot of positive feedback which is encouraging him to do more leaning. We could never get him interested in anything 'academic', trying to colour things in, recognise letters of the alphabet or words, do anything crafty, make things... he's suddenly doing all that at school now, full credit to them.
Heh Heh My son has started in reception this year (well sept 2004) and my husband is still trying to prevent him picking up the accent!! We live near Liverpool but my husband is a londonner and I am French... So far he seems to stick with a london accent...
BUUUUT he's on the ORT and learning to read with "sounds" it caused major confusion when he had to read "Biff" as he kept on saying the sounds were BBB eee fff fff and saying what sounded to me like Beff, but that's how they teach him to say his "i". The same goes with pretty much all the vowels!!
BTW hi all,am new to this place
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