*My son finds it difficult to learn the alphabet and numbers!*

[ngozi001]

I've been trying for a while to get my son to learn the alphabet, but to no avail. He gets as far as 'd', and can't remember the rest. He recites his numbers up to 18 but when I try to show him how to write up to 5, he can't do it. I've bought 'Gold Stars' English, Reading, and Numbers books for ages 3-4, but he gets fed up of reading. Having said that, he does like story books. He's three and a half years old, and I don't know if I'm worrying too much, but I'm getting anxious about how difficult he is finding it to learn because he'll be entering reception class soon. Does anyone have any advice on the right way to teach a three and a half year old? Please

[snowmeltsonthebeach]

My ds is the same age and the nursery he is at is very concerned that he can't recognise his numbers up to 5. He also can't do his primary colours. I frankly don't care and it doesn't worry me - it will all come in time and he shows his intelligence by being a complete wind up merchant and a consumate liar!!!!!! Anyway they send me home lots of charts to do with him and sometimes we do them and sometimes we leave them in the car. Don't worry.......

[Kittypickle]

I think you are worrying too much ! He's still very young and this is all the stuff that they do when they start reception. I think most reception teachers would much rather they can play well with other children, dress themselves and follow instructions rather than learn the alphabet. Also the school may well teach him differently to you with his letters ie using Jolly Phonics or something similar. Try to relax and let him have a good time playing whatever he likes to play. He will learn what he needs to at school, they all do it at their own pace.

[singersgirl]

Hi, I really wouldn't worry about it. He is very young. Some children will know their letters and numbers when they start Reception, but many will not; they start off teaching them those things. My DS2 (4 next August 31) will also start reception and he can't recite numbers past 12, certainly doesn't know alphabetical order and only recognises a few letters.
If your son doesn't like the workbooks (and neither of my boys do/did), try looking for letters when you go out ("look! There's a M for Mummy"); it's better, I believe, at this stage to focus on the sound the letter makes rather than the letter name, as that is what they will teach in school.
Also just try counting things in daily life - cars, sweets, peas, etc.
And if he likes listening to stories, keep reading to him - that is probably the best thing you can do now.
I got a lot more worried with my first son (now 6) than I do with DS2 - he will get there, he is young and there is plenty of time to learn to read and count. There are lots of other things to do when you're 3......

[spacedonkey]

Honestly you mustn't worry about it at this age. The penny will drop when he's ready. In the meantime I'd just have magnetic letters and numbers on the fridge and read him lots of stories.

[LIZS]

Wouldn't worry about the writing yet at all. Fine motor skills can come much later. dd is 3 yrs 3 months,loves to colour and draw, and has known colours, shapes, nos and letters for about a year, but can't form letters etc very well yet. Concentrate on counting objects, make strings of beads , buttons or cotton reels (elc do pots of each) so you can count and do patterns, play dominoes with pictures, dots and letters, do puzzles, sticker books and lego - all these encourage prereading and maths skills and dexterity, and are more age appropriate than those books, despite what is written on the front. In 6 months time you could come back to them and he may be more interested but enjoy the opportunites to learn through play and by looking around you in the meantime.

[motherinfestivemood]

I definitely think you're worrying too much; it doesn't sound at all as if the the stage he is at is a cause for concern. My older daughter will be four in February and she is slowly getting the hang of letters and numbers - prompted solely by her pre-school, I should add.

Please don't let him lose the joy small children find in learning! I also feel quite strongly that stories are more important than 'structured' reading. If he enjoys stories, he'll learn to read them in the end. I couldn't read a damn thing at his age. By the age of 6, you had to prise my nose out of a book with a crane.

[aloha]

Reciting really, really, really isn't important. The only reason to know the alphabet in order is to use a dictionary, and I htink it's fair enough to say that he won't need to do that for a while. It has no educational significance at all. Neither does 'counting' at this age, as it normally just means a child has memorised a -to them -meaningless string of sounds. He sounds absolutely normal. If you want to teach letters (and there is no need to) teach him their phonetic sounds - a is ah - b is buh, c is cuh etc as that does seem to help future reading. But he's young even for that. Numbers are also meaningless unless they can be connected to quantity - ie more or fewer chocolate buttons! Really, this is honestly not something to stress over. Please don't push him.

[happymerryberries]

Ds is just getting to know his letters and he is 4.5 and has been in reception since sept. Don't worry about it, it isn't important at this stage. Ds's teacher keeps telling me what a start he is because he has calmed down so much and now takes part in the activities. She thinks that is more important and I agree

[Sozie]

Can only repeat what others have said - nothing to stress over. My dd is 4 yo and still struggles over some letters and numbers - confuses 6 and 9 for example. She is at pre-school and her teacher thinks she is bright so I don't know why your ds's nursery are worrying you as he is still so young.

[Gobbledigoose]

I've not read the other posts so probably repeating BUT, you have nothing to worry about!! That is totally normal!!!!

Ds is 3yrs 8months and has no interest really in letters. Pretty good at numbers but can't tell me what most of the letters are - probably only a, b and c.

Please don't worry!

[ChristmasCracker]

Dd2 is nearly 5, has been in reception since sept, and she doesn't know alot of her letters.
She will always have a guess but 9 times out of 10 she is wrong.

[TheHollyAndTheTwiglett]

You could stop pushing him .. he doesn't need to be able to parrot learn letters and numbers nor to write them .. by the time primary children are 7 (or was it 8?) they have equalised in reading and writing .. it makes no difference if he's an early adopter or not

let him just be a pre-schooler perhaps?

[jane313]

When I was doing my PGCE I read this really interesing book called The Meaning Makers by Gordon Wells. It followed a variety of children over years and the one of the key things they decided in the end that made a difference to their language development was having stories read to them. which was great as its the one of the most enjoyable things you can do. If you want to do phonics in a story uou could try the Letterland books, I had a lot of success using them. You don't want him to burn out and become anti more formal learning

[ngozi001]

Thank you everyone for your messages. I think I can breathe a sigh of relief now that I have the added reassurance that my son is just like the majority of kids. Thanks alot! :)