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I am so disappointed in dd )-: ...even though I know i should be supporting her

(126 Posts)
mosschops30 Wed 18-Jul-07 16:08:32

We got the school bandings today for high school. There are 5 upper, 2 'middle' and 1 special needs. She has been put in the middle band but it was faily close.

Her best friend who has always been at the same level throughout their schooling is in the upper bands which means she either excelled in the exams or has made massive progress in the last 6 months

Shes in tears now because she said all the kids in her class say that if you get a middle band then you are a 'thicko'

And I dont want her to be in middle band with chidren who couldnt give a toss about whether they learn or not. I am so angry and frustrated that she has only realised now how important her schooling is

MamaGryffindor Wed 18-Jul-07 16:09:39

any chance of school changing her band? or agreeing to look at it again a few months down the line?

nutcracker Wed 18-Jul-07 16:10:12

No point in her being in the top band though if she could not cope with the work.

Maybe if she starts and does really well they will move her up.

Middle isn't so bad is it ??

TenaLady Wed 18-Jul-07 16:11:56

A learning curve for her, which will set her up for life. She has to pull her finger out or put up with the jibes.

Maybe she just needed this to cajole her into action. In a few months it may well be reviewed but you cant do much about it now.

newlifenewname Wed 18-Jul-07 16:13:41

If she's in middle band she's in middle band. We would all like to be top of the class but that is a logical impossibility so you can only hope that she will work her way up with support and encouragement from you.

By the way, I was a middling academic and I did give a toss.

kneazlechick Wed 18-Jul-07 16:15:33

I understand that you might be worried that the conscientiousness might not be of the same level in the middle band as the upper one, but, as nutcracker says, if she is better suited, accademically, to the middle band then, maybe, she is better off there. I'm certain that, if she proves to be working at a higher level, they will move her.

It must be really frustrating - my brother did this at A level. He didn't give a toss until he failed all 3 and didn't get into uni. At least your dd is realising this at a younger age. Hope it all comes right in the end

mosschops30 Wed 18-Jul-07 16:17:22

They get the opportunity to move up at the end of the first term (NOvember) so thats something to work towards. Until then tv/nintendo/PS2 etc are all remmoved.

I have left a message with the head of year. I know shes not going to be top of the class like our friends little girl who got level 5 in everything. I guess I am just frustrated that she missed it slightly because her friend has been put in the upper bands even though they are the same ability

mosschops30 Wed 18-Jul-07 16:18:38

more than anything I am upset for her of the shit she will get off her primary school friends and I also remember the stigma of the kids who were in bottom bands at school

newlifenewname Wed 18-Jul-07 16:19:08

Why didn't she do as well as expected? Did she get nervous, was she lazy or distracted? What is the reason do you think?

fairyjay Wed 18-Jul-07 16:20:38

I'm sure I'd be feeling the same as you mosschops, but I agree with the others - this could just be the 'kick' that she needed. You clearly feel that she was capable of more.

There must be plenty of opportunity for moving around within the high school, as childrens abilities do fluctuate over time.

Tough lesson for her.

mosschops30 Wed 18-Jul-07 16:22:30

newlife, she actually did better than expected in her maths.
Her english and science were faily good, just the maths let her down, they thought she might only come out with a level 3 (end of yr 4) and she actually got a level 4

newlifenewname Wed 18-Jul-07 16:24:14

Oh god, so they are streaming across all subjects?

That is not good - very old school.

Am I understanding correctly?

fsmail Wed 18-Jul-07 16:25:13

This is why I do not agree with bandings at secondary schools. At the school I went to it created problems right at the beginning. Why not just set children for subjects such as Maths, English etc and then they could be in a whole mix without people really judging them. My little sister was brilliant at English but struggled with Maths. If she had been in a middle banding, the Maths may have been too hard and the English not challenging enough. I really hope my Ds's school will not do that.

mosschops30 Wed 18-Jul-07 16:29:59

Ok here goes last year children who achieved a middle 4 or above were in upper bands.
The year before children who achieved a lower 4 or above were in the upper bands.
This year its back to middle 4 or above.

Now dd has a lower 4 in maths and english and a middle 4 in science. So in theory she should be in a top band for science but middle for english and maths.
But 2 years ago she would have been in the upper bands for everything.

GRRRRRR i am soooo it just doesnt make sense that shes put in middle band for everything even though shes better at science. Plus the way they change it to suit their numbers is v. frustrating.

FoghornLeghorn Wed 18-Jul-07 16:34:11

I may be completely wrong but is removing TV/PS2 etc not a bit harsh maybe ?

I'm guessing she is 11ish ? Yes schooling is important but I think she will be disappointed with herself for not being banded the same as her friends enough for her to pick it up and try her best to join them in the higher band - I don't see how punishing her now is going to be proactive myself.
This is just MHO, she's not my daughter so if what I say is out of order then just ignore me but being only 23, I remember what I was like at 11 and I don't think I would've responded in the expected way.

fsmail Wed 18-Jul-07 16:35:25

That is so bad! I really cannot see the point in banding at all. Surely it is leading to a different class system and not many children are all round the same in all subjects. I was useless in science but good in languages and history. My DH was the opposite. If the school uses sets for subjects and not bandings, children' strengths would be allowed to come out. Afterall if you are applying to be a doctor you don't have to get an A in French as well as Biology, you just need the sciences. Potentially future doctors are losing out here. I would ask the school, what their reasoning behind all this is or change schools personally.

Enid Wed 18-Jul-07 16:36:46

5 uppr bands and only 2 middle? doesnt sound very representative

Enid Wed 18-Jul-07 16:37:11

agree with foghorn leghorn

scattyspice Wed 18-Jul-07 16:38:17

I wouldn't worry. Same thing happened to me at school and tbh I think it did me a favour as I gained confidence through being higher up the class.

Still got O and A levels.

fsmail Wed 18-Jul-07 16:38:27

I have to agree about taking etg away from here. Taking her away from her friend is punishment enough and if you do this now, you could make her rebel. Be careful, I bet she is really upset anyway.

Lilymaid Wed 18-Jul-07 16:44:54

Mosschops - your DC should be reassessed in the autumn term after she has been at school for a few weeks. I don't understand the system you have - where we are you are taught in your tutor group for the first half term and then put into sets for English and Maths after that. Further setting only takes place in later school years.
Fsmail "if you are applying to be a doctor you don't have to get an A in French as well as Biology, you just need the sciences". Unfortunately, to get into medical school you would probably need at GCSE at least an A in your weakest subjects and A* in sciences.

mosschops30 Wed 18-Jul-07 16:48:33

Ok head of year has just phoned me. The cut off point was 18 points for upper bands. dd got 16 points.
There are 6 children from her primary school going into middle band (although he didnt name names obviously).
Her friend of same ability 'only scraped through' (his words not mine).

He did say with some dedication and hard work she will be able to move into upper band no problem from 16 points, he said they get people moving up from 12 and 13 points with hard work.

Sadly though its not just for english maths and science, she will be with this class for every subject.

Do feel a bit better now.

Oh and the stuff will go, and I will allow her to watch tv downstairs at certain times, like after homework is completed. Otherwise she will sit in her room and be barin-dead like she has been the last few years and I take responsibility for that, we buy our kids dvds/nintendos/tvs etc and this is how things end up.

mosschops30 Wed 18-Jul-07 16:49:54

lilymaid i think you may be right. These are like tutor groups and then I guess they will be further set for when they do subjects at gcse

fsmail Wed 18-Jul-07 16:52:45

Lillymaid. Yes you may need an A in your weaker subject although it was not like that when I went but at least you can choose which subjects you do and play to your strenghts. For instance my DH did not choose French because he was terrible at it and all the subjects he did choose were his best ones. The system where you are taught in the same group for all subjects just seems to discriminatory for those that are good and bad at subjects. I just do not understand it.

Lilymaid Wed 18-Jul-07 16:58:06

To make it even more strange, DS2 was at a school where if you were top set Maths you had to be top set English - some complicated reasoning related to shortage of Maths teachers. We must all know people who are very good at one and hopeless at the other (DH springs to mind).

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