Should I force her to take French?

[horsygirl]

My dd is in year 7. Half the year do German and half the year do French, and at the end of year 9 the ones in the top sets are given the opportunity to add the other language into their curriculum, meaning they would do both French and German.

Her German teacher says she has a natural aptitude for the language, and I think she will be like this for French, too. However shes got it into her head that she wont be taking French.

I really want her to as I know she will be good at it. Should I force her? This doesnt sit well with me but I dont think at the age of 12 they really know whats best for them do they??

Advice please!!

[Hulababy]

Can she not just choose German for now, and then pick up French at end of Y9 if she is still doing so well?

[horsygirl]

Yes, she is doing German for now, but im stressing ahead of time about what will happen at year 9!

[fillyjonk]

think you need to know why she doesn't want to take french

it might be fairer to come to some sort of deal. you want her to do french. what does she want? A new dress or similar? music lessons (dunno your budget). then let her
reasess after a few months/a year / whatever.

i seriously doubt that you can force her to do this. and it is not good to have to learn under duress really.

[throckenholt]

talk to her about why she doesn't want to do it - and why you would like her to. Maybe get some beginners French tapes for her to listen to - see if she likes it.

[horsygirl]

My daughter always assumes she cant do things as she lacks confidence a bit. Despite being in the top sets for everything and being a very capable girl

[charliecat]

I was a whizz at german at school and COULD not get french. Couldnt/Dont understand why that it but my brain wouldnt have french.
Germans easy.
Think ill go with Hulababy on this one.

[fillyjonk]

would she do something instead of french? lie latin or something?

or does french=less free time

[chenin]

With languages, more than anything, you should not make them do it because they will just no absorb it if they are not interested.

Both my DDs have done 2 languages and they have both dropped french because they say it is the hardest language to learn. My DH who speaks three languages, tells me that too.

Most important point... has she had any lessons at all in french? If she has, I think you are on a no goer.... she obviously doesn't like it. If she hasn't, you need to boost her confidence up telling her how good she is at languages and bribe her a bit to try it, agreeing that she can drop it if she finds it difficult or hates it.

[belgo]

If she lacks confidence, then maybe taking just German, and being good at it, will help her confidence, and make her more interested in taking French in a couple of years.

Also take her on holiday to Germany so she can put some of her German into practice (or a school trip if they do them)- this help her immensely.

[bookwormmum]

I wouldn't force her to study it but I would point out the advantages of knowing more than one European language even if it's only so she can figure her way fround the Paris metro to go shopping! They are based on different word-root systems though - a child who has a natural aptitude for French may not have one for German and vice versa.

[belgo]

German is more simialr to english; french is very different.

[bookwormmum]

Btw I'm a non-German speaker and struggle in German-speaking countries - bring on Spanish or Italian then French before German if you want me to do any talking . The result of no German lessons at school since you had to be in top French at the end of yr7 to get to take German. I never understood that rule then either but I suppose it cut down numbers for German classes .

[fillyjonk]

its just a thought, but i have always found it really hard to learn 2 languages at once, even non-spoken ones. i know kids do do it all the time but...i know i found it hard.

[belgo]

I also can't cope with two foreign languages. Since learning dutch all my french has been pushed out of my brain.

[brimfull]

I haven't read the whole thread but are you sure the reason she doesn't want to do french is something to do with friends or not wanting to be seen as one of the clever ones.

My dd is doing french and spanish,school is languaue school and all top sets have to do 2 .She wishes she was only doing one,but I can honestly say it has done her no harm.
.
I would find out the real reason first

[horsygirl]

To be honest I think its a little bit of laziness. Trouble is she is good, talented even, at German, the teacher says she has one of 'those brains'. I would hate her to waste it.

She says she struggles with maths (despite being in the top set (?) so I really want to help her find her niche academically.

Shes a brilliant orator, fantastic mimic, that sort of thing. I really feel languages are perhaps her thing...

[belgo]

if you can afford it, take her to france this summer and try and get her enthousiastic about the language

[brimfull]

She sounds like my dd,lack of confidence on maths despite being in top set,taking her gsce a year early and predicted an a

[ernest]

I disagree re French being harder than German. Sure, at the entrance level, many words are similar to English, and have the advantage of phonetic pronunciation (more r less) but the grammar is fiendishly difficult once you get to a higher level.
Whereas French is grammatically much closer to English - also may words are the same, but the pronunciation is harder, but the word order is the same, (much more complicated in German), there are no cases, also like Eng. and unlike German blah blah. I think it's a case of appearacnes being very deceptive.

Anyway, back to op. I think it's absolutely fantastic that you are keen for her to do the French as well. I agree that at 12 (or 16, or 18 or 30) they are not always in the best position to judge or work out strategically what would be the best course of action.

Remember some people can be gifted, talented and just plain brilliant at something but not actually like it. ANother thing I'd say (all these random thoughts btw, no order) is that you honestly don't know, ever , but esp at 12 what's going to be round the corner. I learnt French at school. Did want to learn German but wasn't an option. NOw I find myself living in Switzerland & having to learn German. And maybe moving to Italy, and maybe having to learn Italian. If I do get a job, the fact I can speak French and German will be a huge advantage, or completely essential. I ended up here cos of dh's job. You just don't know.

Now back to dd. How many choices does she have? What are they? If she did French would it mean forfeiting something she really wants to do? I'd say you need to gently persuade rather than 'force', but do it together at the time of making the choice, rather than mentioning it too much. I know mine would refuse on principle just cos they're stubborn, if I say X they'll do Y. Sigh.

[horsygirl]

Instead of 3 German lessons there would be 2, with one French. I think it is further amalgamated after that but i need to find out more.

Yes my daughter is one of those stubborn ones, but what bothers me more is her lack of confidence in her own abilities. I want her to give it a try, suck it and see kind of thing. I think a trip to France is a fab idea.

[ShrinkingViolet]

alternatively let her do just German, and plan for an au pair type job in France during a gap year - best way to learn the language is to actually live and breathe it.
FWIW DD1 (G&T, self confessed Maths geek) is dropping French next year as German makes more sense to her logical mind, and despite six years of French lessons at school, she still can't pronounce much of it properly.

[Pimmpom]

Not sure if I've got this right but has she got another 2 years (ie yr 8 & 9) to make up her mind? If that is the case, a lot can happen to change her mind by then.

Also, when she chooses her options at the end of yr 9, she may want to choose French over other subjects.

[wychbold]

Horsygirl, your DD sounds very similar to mine. Unfortunately, she is in Y11 and still lacks self-belief.
Try Custy's trick of dripfeeding an idea: there's a long time until the end of Y9 so there will be plenty of opportunities to plant a seed.