TA slapped my son's hand...... What would you do ??

[moosh]

Ds is in Yr2, a bright young man who is excellent at reading, numeracy and good at literacy a lively sociable boy with great imagination.
He has had many little incidents with his TA over the last 2.5 yrs (shes been with his class since Reception), but not sure if I have shrugged this one off without reacting.
As parents, What would you do?

It was lunchtime the kids came in and got their plates. Now the TA usually gives the kids their cutlery, but they were waiting a while. Ds took it upon himself to go and get some knives and forks for him and his friends. As he put his hand in the drawer the TA saw him, came over picked his hand up and slapped him on it and told him to not get the cutlery and go and sit down.
My reaction to ds was that he broke the rules,he should of sat and waited for his cutlery, it is dangerous for him to get the knives and forks and that is why they have to wait for an adult to do it. I do not agree with her reaction, but it was probably a knee jerk reaction I told him that I would discuss it with dp when he got home.
We did and have decided that although ds looked annoyed by it when telling me, he wasn't really upset and crying so we have decided not go to the school on this incident, but dp is convinced that the Ta doesn't like our son, if a similar situation occured then I would not hesistate to go to the Head Teacher.

But now, not sure if our reaction is the right one. I am not one to go all guns blazing and argue with the teachers at the school, but I am no push over too and am wondering whether I should go to the school or not.

What do you think, if it was your child what would you do ?
Thanks

[popsycal]

straight on the phone to the head to tell him what byour ds told you and ask head to investigate abnd get back to you

[hoxtonchick]

i would be furious

[ComeOVeneer]

I wouldn't let it go tbh. I wuld phone the school and make an appt to see the head over this. Totally unacceptable.

[ComeOVeneer]

would

[littlelapinWearsBoden]

I'm with Popsycal

[ediemay]

No hitting. Not by anyone, not to anyone. That's the beginning and end for me.

[Blu]

I would defintiely tell the Head. Not all guns blazing, but a calm factual account.

There is no justification for anyone in a school to do that - picking his hand up is a very 'pro-active' thng to do - it can't be cnfused with batting his hand away from something.

The Head really needs to know. You can say we are not taking action, but we think you need to know about this.

I would want you to tell the Head if my child was in the class with the same TA!

[kittypants]

ofcourse you should go to school!if it was my child id be at school second i knew!she used physical violence,whether it hurt or not doesnt matter and 'knee jerk reaction' or not,shes a ta,hes a child.

[fireflyfairy2]

My first reaction would be "Well, he broke the rules"

Second reaction would be that she shouldn't have slapped his hand, but it was probably her first reaction when she saw him defiantly breaking the rules.

[singingmum]

speak to the school

[kittypants]

agree with blu,if my child was in that class and had a ta that does things like that,id want it dealt with.
cant believe anyone would be ok with it!

[popsycal]

As a teacher,
I am always extremely conscious of even putting a hand on a child's shoulder if they are upset or hurt, or guiding an injured child into school from the playground. Teachers and TAs are normally very conscious of such things. You need to go straught to the head

[fireflyfairy2]

Have to add that I wouldn't like it if it was my child, but would remember that I have to hear noth sides of the story before commenting to ds.

[fireflyfairy2]

both

[luciemule]

Agree totally with the above.
No person in a school environment should use physical force of any description upon a child. I'd have been fuming and would have gone straight to the school and complained. She should have known better and could easily have said "please put down the cutlery" or something.

[tombley]

Do you mean she tapped his hand in a sort of 'don't touch' way or she smacked his had as a form of punishment for touching the cutlery?
If it is the former then I wouldn't do anything except to monitor the situation. If the latter I would ring the head and ask for a meeting.

[popsycal]

even a 'dont' touch that' tap is way out of order and not allowed

[bananabump]

Hmm, seems a bit unnecessary to slap his hand for such a minor offence, she probably did it because she lost her temper, and that's not a good way to teach.

Being that she's only a teachers assistant though, perhaps you could have a quiet word with the teacher she assists, and let her know that if you hear of anything like this going on again you will be taking it further?

[Tortington]

a teacher once did the clipping of the head thing to my son. he didn't tell me, but it so happened i went into school to speak to teacher anyway about a different matter. she was an older teacher not far off retirement probably. She assumed this is why i was coming to see her, apologised profusely was beside herself.


i didn't complain. she would have been sacked i'm sure. my son wasn't in the least bit bothered. I was certain at the time that she was so mortified and distraught that the reality of her career ending that she wouldnt do it again.

however with maturity, a change in culture even in the last 8 years that had it happened today. i would have complained and she would have lost her job her pension and her life.

[teafortwoandtwofortea]

I'm a bit like you, hate to be the one to make a fuss. But - this was completely inappropriate and the head needs to be informed. It is not a TA's place to smack your child in whatever way, whether or not you would at home.

Sorry, but now's the time to make a fuss, not 'next' time.

[popsycal]

sorry but hte head needs to know

[tryingtodobest]

not acceptable.
speak to head, if only to log it so that if there is another incident of similar kind (severity, etc) a pattern could be identified and dealt with. partic if your dp thinks that there is a personality clash between the ta and your child.

[lemonaid]

I would want it on record even if I didn't want to make an issue of it. But then we don't smack so I would be livid if someone else were to smack my DC.

In your position (given that you and your DH don't want to make trouble) I'd write to the head, describe what your DS reported, say that you know that he had broken the rules and should not have gone to get the cutlery, and that you don't want to make a big issue or risk damaging someone's career over one incident, but you think that the head should look into ensuring that the law and the school policy on discipline is fully appreciated by all staff.

Or words to that effect.

Should there be a subsequent incident you want to be able to show that that incident isn't just an isolated case.

[maisym]

would be at the heads office - the ta isn't allowed to hit your child. Wouldn't explaining be better than hitting out?

[fireflyfairy2]

What age is your son?

Are you entirely sure he is being honest?