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5 yo boy behaviour in school

(55 Posts)
dilligaf Tue 13-Jul-04 14:38:52

we moved to the country from the town last year. Had to change ds school from small private class of 10 to state primary class of 30. Also a job share situation so 2 teachers to get used to. Ds behaved badly wont conform and doesnt complete tasks e.g writing which he hates. Can read OK. Slow at changing for P.e. Has seen various professionals no diagnosis of any problem. Is fine in all other situations polite and pleasant. Other children like him and he has contact with lots of our long term friends. We want to go back to the town but are concerned that he will have problems with the move. Currently attends school part-time different arrangements on different days - very confusing . Has made progress and is behaving better though lots of room for improvement! Where do we go from here anyone been in similar situation?

marialuisa Tue 13-Jul-04 14:56:27

Um, would you move him back to the old school or were the problems the same there?

Jimjams Tue 13-Jul-04 15:06:12

Will he be staying full time next year? My son currently attends part time and I get very confused to be honest, and he prefers being in all day.

Do you think he just dosn't get on with the teachers? Personality clash? Or do you think the class is too big for him. Does he behave better for one teacher than the other? Or do you think he just wants to be back in the town? Are you defintiely moving back, or just thinking about it?

I think lots of children are slow at changing for PE- maybe practice lots of changing with him at home.

Fio2 Tue 13-Jul-04 15:09:17

do you think he is just finding it hard to adjust? 10 to 30 children is quite a jump for a small child. maybe it has knocked his confidence a bit? Do you think they put pressure on him to change quicker than he wants to for PE? I agree with jimjams alot of kids cant dress themselves for pe and are slow.

dilligaf Tue 13-Jul-04 15:09:40

didnt seem to have problems there but the head here tells me they had concerns. he only went there for half a term but seemed happy. the staff didnt tell me they had problems maybe they just wanted us to keep paying. he was certainly keener to go. Dont know if we could get him readmitted or find a house in the same area of town.

dilligaf Tue 13-Jul-04 15:14:36

Definitely prefers one teacher to another behaves far better for her. we havent made any decisions yet terrified of making things worse. I have older children (grown up) and never had problems with them - all girls -new territory for us to have a boy.The less preferred teacher will have him next year as well with another teacher - jpb share again.

Fio2 Tue 13-Jul-04 15:16:16

what kind of professionals has he seen concerning his behaviour? Do you have concerns yourself? or is it just the school?

dilligaf Tue 13-Jul-04 15:33:23

It is just school. He had swimming lessons and was fine. He is good with us no trouble at all eats well sleeps well and plays well. Stays in hotels and eats in restaurants. he is used to lots of attetion though as we are older parents and he was an unexpected blessing to begin with he had four mothers waiting on him as my three older daughters were still at home. he has seen ed pysch and paedetrician and behaviour support services

Fio2 Tue 13-Jul-04 15:36:18

and they all think he is normal? It sounds like he is just unhappy school, I dont know what to suggest but I am sure other people will

jrsmum Mon 19-Jul-04 00:25:45

Dilligaf don't worry about ds maybe the teacher is just a silly cow and shouldn't be so nasty to him!!!
He's a lovely kind boy and I love him to bits. He is so kind to my ds and I am sure that there is nothing wrong with him.

Prephaps the teacher should get some help!!!

(In case anyones wondering I am one of Diligafs "older" dd's.)

dilligaf Wed 14-Jul-04 12:57:33

Thanks jrsmum but we are a little bit prejudiced in favour of ds. The last three days when we have dropped him off at school none of the adults in the room have spoken to ANY of the children. Seems odd to me.

marialuisa Wed 14-Jul-04 13:43:59

Umm, they don't speak to the kids? That's weird. Have you any other concerns about the school? Is it less relaxed than his previous school? Have you thought of looking round some different schools to see if any of them would suit your DS better? I'm guessing he's still Reception age in which case he may well be struggling with the sitting down side of things. The Head of my dbro's small primary (which gets excellent results) spent 15 mins lecturing the new Reception parents about not worrying about how quickly they progress with reading etc at this stage. Similarly they look for whether a child can concentrate on anything at all, e.g. painting, playing with lego rather than assuming there's a problem just because the child doesn't want to do "work". Does your DS concentrate on anything for any length of time?

dilligaf Wed 14-Jul-04 17:30:50

Ds is in a large class 30 kids 21 boys{}so i think that they try to keep them sitting if possible. If something interests him he will concentrate but doesnt like recording things. he has only just started to ask to draw but can write most letters in print. School want them to do joined up writing he cant do this yet and just produces scribble. Do all schools do joined up rather than print? Reading is fine because i have taught him and he asks loads of questions so he shows interest in things. thanks for your interest havent lived here long so this is a lifeline i am feeling a bit isolated.

Miaou Wed 14-Jul-04 17:56:16

Erm, they want them to write JOINED UP at 5??????? I am a classroom assistant in a v. small school (8 pupils!!), and we have two 6 and a half yr olds (boys) who are not expected to do joined up writing because they are simply not capable of it! I'm astounded at the thought of getting 21 5 year old boys writing joined up! Is this a blanket policy for the whole class or just those who are capable of it?

I seem to be moving off the subject ... but honestly dilligaf, if this is indicative of their teaching ethos then I'm not surprised your ds is not happy at school. IMHO, I would look to move him to a school where they are more concerned about treating children as individuals and celebrating their achievements - I think they are asking far too much of 5yolds.

The fact that he can read at 5 is a huge achievement, by the way!

dilligaf Wed 14-Jul-04 20:46:20

Thank you so much for your reassurance i was beginning to think i was neurotic. I wish i could just move him and i have even been considereding home schooling. The head told me it was Dorsets policy on writing. It even confuses him with reading because the words look so different joined up.My dh is concerned that moving him would just unsettle him more but i feel if the pressure was off he would begin to enjoy school. this is surely a case of too much too young. Most countries dont even start formal schooling till 6 or 7. Sorry to rant on but they are little for such a short time. It seems to me like taking learner drivers on the motorway before they have mastered the brakes and the gears.

dilligaf Fri 16-Jul-04 00:29:45

Has anyone had a problem with access to drinks at school? My ds whos 5 wanted a drink and was told now is not the time for drinks so he went and fetched his drink flask to help himself. teacher took it from him and held it over her head so he couldn't reach it. He pushed her. Have been told that if this happens again he could be excluded. I agree he should not have pushed her but surely she should not have held his drink like this as it is almost teasing him. Have asked if he could have a bottle of water on his table but school don't want to do this. What do you think i should do? i have been asked to sign a pastoral care agrement which mentions the push but not the incident leading to it. I am not going to sign it until i have thought about it. Tomorrow is the last day of term and i am not sending ds until i decide what to do. gives me breathing space until september.

dilligaf Fri 16-Jul-04 01:03:10

From the time of this message you can tell I am losing sleep. Ds is sleeping lika baby and dh is reading in bed. who'd be a mum?

MeanBean Fri 16-Jul-04 06:13:49

Dilligaf, what's the name of the headmistress at your DS's school, is it Mrs Gradgrind??

It's Dorset's policy??? Who the hell is she kidding? I simply cannot believe that that is true, and if it is, I would raise it with my MP. What the hell is the council doing having a blanket policy on joined up writing by the age of 5? What are they trying to achieve, disaffected criminals by the time they are eight? Sorry, I'm not one for putting faith in local government or anything, but I think your DS's headmistress must be lying.

I can well understand why you are thinking of home edding, and if I lived in Dorset and found that that was their educational policy, I would too. Or I'd move. But I can't believe it is, so as a first step, I'd look around for another school - the one your DS is going to is obviously staffed by nutters, the drink episode shows a level of incompetence in dealing with a 5 year old boy that is completely inappropriate in a teacher.

You're not being neurotic here, Dilligaf, you really are dealing with a bunch of loonies. Get your DS away from them.

Oh and agree that it's an immense achievement that he can read - my DS, also 5 can't, let alone do joined up writing. And guess what - I'm not remotely worried about it, and neither is his school, because they are not lunatics in Dorset!

dilligaf Fri 16-Jul-04 09:45:10

Thanks meanbean reassurance that i am not totally off my trolley is just what i need. I am not concerned that he cant write yet like a million other things he will do it when he is ready. I dont like the pressure on him or the idea that he is sitting at school miserable or thirsty or both. The first question he asks in a morning is "Is it a school day or a holiday?" Dont want his early experiences of school to put him off. Going to spend the holidays trying to make a decision.

Miaou Fri 16-Jul-04 10:10:49

Dilligaf, I was stunned by your joined up writing post, and am now completely stunned by the drinks episode - how cruel is that? And holding it over his head when he was obviously thirsty - I'm speechless. If you saw a mother doing that to her child you would be concerned, wouldn't you? At our school the children have bottles of water on the tables and are allowed to drink from them (and visit the toilet) whenever they need to. This was specifically praised in our inspection last month. How can a five year old concentrate if they are thirsty?

Sorry dilligaf, but IIWY I would spend the summer arranging alternative schooling for next year. His comments to you show that he is not happy. If you are happy to home school him , even if just for a bit, I would do it. I would also get in touch with the education dept. regarding their policy on writing (and drinking, for that matter) - I am sure you will find it is up to the individual school.

I have often thought about you since your first post - I 'm so upset about it on your and your son's behalf!! Please keep us up to date with what you decide to do. <<hugs>>

dilligaf Fri 16-Jul-04 11:01:02

thanks for all your kind thoughts Miaou. Made me cry i am so wound up and unsure what to do for the best.Dh has just read your message as well and has said we can do what we feel is right maybe homeschool for a while and move so we we have more choice of school At least its the holidays now and we can take some time to decide.

agy Fri 16-Jul-04 11:01:57

God, that teacher needs to grow up! That is so cruel about the drink! Could you speak to someone at Ofsted, for the sake of the other children as much as your own. And re-type the pastoral care agreement to include your little boy's side of the incident. And try to get him moved if poss. This must be so worrying for you. Good luck.

Twinkie Fri 16-Jul-04 11:22:47

I know I will be nailed for this:

I really think you should try and speak to the school and perhaps get their education policy in writing - I also think that maybe you need to speak to the school with regards to his behaviour - if he is fine with everything else it just seems that he is having problems with the schools boundaries and I believe that changing school may be a help but what if its not, what if he doesn't like that the alternative are you going to keep changing??

Maybe having 3 elder sisters and elder parents and being one of only 10 in his class has led him to believe that he is going to be the centre of attention and he is just finding it hard to fit in - but you have to give it a chance I feel.

As for the drink thing - what if he was trying to tkae the drink from the teacher and she held it up so she could try and explain to him that he could not just go and help himself - can you imagine 30 school children deciding that they want to go and get their drinks out at any time of the day and a teacher having to control this and try and teach??

I know its hard to be objective here but I think he is running rings around you and you are falling for it.

dilligaf Fri 16-Jul-04 11:41:38

I think there is an element of truth in what Twinkie says. He is the centre of our world but i think most children are to their parents. If he was allowed a drink on his desk there wouldnt be a problem with kids getting drinks. I am going to add my side to the pastoral agreement as i think the background is quite relevant. the question of changing schools is difficult thats why we want to take time before rushing into anything. still not happy about holding drink up if someone did that to a dog thed get bitten and everyone wd say what did they expect. I wouldnt leave him with a babysitter who did that to him. I am sure it is difficult coping with 30 kids but it is their proffession If it was easy you wouldnt need 4 years training. On the whole my experience of teachers has been good.

Twinkie Fri 16-Jul-04 11:50:12

But he is not allowed a drink on his desk and he neeeds to understand that going toget them at will is not right either.

And he is not a dog - he is a child who should know that oushing a tteacher is wrong - he is the centre of your world but he needs to learn that there are rules and regualtions and I don;t hink he will unless you sit down and tell him he has to adhere to these rules - I can honestly see a lifetime of trouble ahead of you if you let him get away with this one!!

I am sorry for saying this but I look at the teeneagers around us and what they are doing and how they treat people and there are always excuses - when I see the problem being is that they need to understand that they have to obey teachers and professionals (unless they are truely bad which I really don't think your sons teacher is) and these teenagers and professionals need the back up of parents - he is seeing you fighting against the school and so in his mind it is fine for him to behave like this and you will go round and round in circles.

I am probably not very popular with regards to my views on somethings and I think some people think I am quite harsh but your son needs to have a social and moral responsibility and this includes behaving even if he does not like the rules.

And Jrsmum - I hope to god that you don't repeat that kind of stuff about hs teacher in his hearing - if he thinks you have that kind of view of his teacher how is he going to understand that he needs to behave??

dilligaf Fri 16-Jul-04 12:00:17

I have brought up 3 other children eldest is an accountant middle is married and the third is an air traffic controller in the Raf. None of them are delinquints. He has clear boundaries at home and is very well behaved when out. We just took him to Disney and he was extremely well behaved. We never undermine the school in his hearing and try to be suportive of them I am not the only person to have had problems with the teacher. Maybe its a bit of a mismatch as he seems to be fine with the other teacher and when they have had substitutes.Hes not perfect and I know he can be difficult. thats why i started this thread just to get an overview and see if others thought i was being too touchy.

jimmychoos Fri 16-Jul-04 12:01:49

dilligaf - I would investigate what concerns the other school had about your ds if I were you. I don't think it's acceptable that they have obv passed something on to the new school you are not aware of that has not been raised with you. i agree your ds could be playing up in the new bigger class - it could also be that the new school have labelled him as a result of what they have been told....could be six of one and half a dozen of the other IYKWIM.

The school's drinks policy sounds totally old fashioned - most primary schools here let the children have water on their desks. Research shows that brain function/ concentration is impaired with dehydration - so this actually aids learning. I'd take this up with the school of you decide to keep your son there.

hercules Fri 16-Jul-04 12:02:08

I agree with you Twinkie. It is not possible for children to have drinks on their desks- what happens when they get knocked over? Part of going to school is accepting that there are times to do things and you cannot have a drink or go to the toilet when you please. Tbh it sounds as if the teacher was holding it so he could not reach it as opposed to taunting him.
If I were you I'd speak to his teacher about how he's getting on in school. Also you mustnt discuss any of this in front of him which I'm sure you dont anyway.
There are primary teachers on mumsnet who I'm sure would be able to give advice.

Miaou Fri 16-Jul-04 12:03:38

Twinks I honestly think that if he was running rings round dilligaf it would show up in other situations too - she does say that he is well behaved and polite at other times, including swimming lessons (so he can obviously do as he is told). Of course we only have dillifag and jrsmum's words for it - but there has to be a balance between what is acceptable (or expectable) behaviour for a five year old and acceptable for the teacher. IMHO witholding drinks is not.

Incidentally, my dd2 is similar - nice, polite girl, gets on well with others, co-operates at school when she enjoys things but does not work well at others (eg writing and getting changed for PE!!). However the teachers attitude is not "this child has problems", but "how can we help this child to adjust". And I am sure the teacher thinks I indulge her too, but she still has dd2's best interests at heart! I know that if dd2 pushed the teacher then she would get a row and a punishment but CERTAINLY NOT threatened with exclusion - what would that teach her?

hercules Fri 16-Jul-04 12:05:10

Surely the best thing is to meet with the teacher. It is hard to know what is going on when you are being told what happened by a 5 year old. DS when he was the age said that his headmaster locked him in a cupboard!!

Twinkie Fri 16-Jul-04 12:07:54

I wasn't attacking you or saying that you brought up delinquents I was just trying to get a point across - we are all touchy about things to do with our DDs/DSs but I don't think you should just move his school without trying to get him to behave and I don't think he has an automatic right to be able to go to he loo or have a drink when he wants if it is not school policy just because you think it is right. If you are that bothered see what other parents think and maybe you canget this changed but until then he has to understadn that there are rules that he must obey.

Sorry if I have offended you at all.

Miaou Fri 16-Jul-04 12:09:39

Just as a point of interest the children at my dd's school have those sports bottles of water on their tables, with the spouts, so if they got knocked over they would cause no harm. They are not allowed them near the computers though.

dilligaf Fri 16-Jul-04 12:10:41

Sorry i should have said i was teacher in the dim and distant past so i do understand the problems. we have met with the teachers and the head and we are all trying to be consistent with him at home and school. Perhaps it will take longer to work.

Twinkie Fri 16-Jul-04 12:11:59

Miaou - Sorry but any physical threat to a teacher whether it be from a 13 year old or a 5 year old needs to be taken seriously - I would be horrified if DD did that to some one in authority not try and make excuses for it.

JanZ Fri 16-Jul-04 12:13:56

I am surprised about abut not letting him drink. There is plenty of research to show that people (and that includes kids!) lose concentration if they becoem dehydrated - and when you feel thirsty, you already are dehydrated.

I thought that schools were now being encouraged to ENCOURAGE children to drink water freely - See this advice from Teachernet - which is a web site essentailly providing advice form the Department for Skills and Education. So you could argue that they are going AGAINST government advice!

It may be worth going in armed with this - and pointing out that they are HARMING the children and thier ability to learn by not letting them drink more freely.

With regard to the joined up writing - is it worth getting in touch with an educational advisor at the LEA to ask them what the policy is. It seems very strange and excessive for a child in their first year.

Miaou Fri 16-Jul-04 12:21:04

Twinkie I do agree that any physical action against an authority figure does have to be dealt with seriously - I would expect it to be taken seriously and would never try to excuse it - it's very important that children learn from a very young age that it is completely unacceptable. I just have an issue with exclusion at the age of five, particularly used for a child who does not like school - if it was my child I would be v. worried they would pick up the wrong signals (ie if I am very naughty they will let me have a day off school).

Anyway, we digress from the real issue here.

Miaou Fri 16-Jul-04 12:55:26

At the end of the day dilligaf, you and dh are the only people who truly know what ds is like and are the only ones who have the make the decisions about what to do next. It is easy for us to sit here and say "move him" or whatever, we don't have to do it! But hopefully, seeing the different points of view expressed here will help you to think about the whole situation from both sides.

FWIW I *do* think that speaking to the school is a very good idea, if only to get a handle on what THEY want to do about the situation. If their attitude is "we can sort it, but we need to do x/need you to do y/etc", then stick with them. If you feel that they are not being constructive, then that is the time to think again. HTH.

agy Fri 16-Jul-04 12:58:40

Five just seems very young to not allow him to get a drink. They're still quite fresh from playgroup/nursery where they would get drinks. And that school must be a one- off with the joined up writing at five! Bit strange.

MeanBean Fri 16-Jul-04 13:23:48

At my DS's school, as at Mioau's child's school, all children have a sports bottle of water on the desk and nobody thinks it is necessary or desirable to limit the amount of liquid they can drink. There has never been a recorded case where this has caused any problem whatsoever.

And the fact that there is this blanket policy on joined up writing at five, which is actually undermining children's confidence and ability to read and write, and takes absolutely no account whatsoever of the individual needs of children, would make me seriously question the ethos of the school.

dilligaf Fri 16-Jul-04 13:49:06

thanks for all the input i am going to take some space now to think about everything posted. Will let you all know decision and outcome eventually!

jrsmum Tue 27-Jul-04 21:45:26

Twinkie, You can hope to who you like but if it was my ds I would say a lot more. In my view teachers have a duty of care and compassion and I would like to believe they do the job because they like children not that they want to be cuel to them.
Anyone who deprived my son of a drink would be in deep trouble with me. At the end of the day children are young for a short time and need to enjoy each day. If some miserable old cow wants to upset kids then I suggest she doesn't come near mine. Who by the way will have a moral and social resposibilty but also the balls to stand up for them selves just in case they meet idiots like you!

johno Tue 27-Jul-04 21:48:39

i agree jrsmum, at 5 children are vunerable, teachers of this age group should have methods of making school enjoyable, no wonder kids hate school as they grow up

donnie Wed 28-Jul-04 15:38:23

well the 'care and compassion' you insist should be part of a teacher's attitude is not exactly evident in your rather abusive and threatening post is it jr's mum? I wonder why you feel the need to be so aggressive.

hercules Wed 28-Jul-04 16:03:09

As a caring teacher part of what we have to put up with is parents attitudes as seen here. Sadly many parents always think their child is in the right, slag the teacher off (often in front of the child) before actually finding out what happened.
I would never jump to conclusions as in most cases the adult version of what actually if
happened is very different.
If the parents show suc little respect is it any wonder the kids dont!

hercules Wed 28-Jul-04 16:04:42

Or were you actually there jrsmum because I'm amazed you're able to judge the situation so well?

MeanBean Wed 28-Jul-04 19:36:38

Just to play devil's advocate (well, it's quiet and Corrie hasn't started yet!), I would like to say that although I agree that jrsmum's post was quite emphatic, what I have noticed is that quite often, teachers on Mumsnet more or less do what they always complain badly behaved parents do - automatically take the side of the person to whom they feel a gut loyalty, in this case, the teacher's. Teachers aren't always in the right guys, and just because somebody takes a child's side, it doesn't necessarily mean that they are the parents from hell who refuse to back the school over discipline and rush around threatening to beat up teachers every time their kids get into trouble. It can be very irritating to have that implied, and so not surprising if someone reacts quite forcibly to that...

hercules Wed 28-Jul-04 19:40:16

I think the point that I wanted to make was that the teacher has been slagged off yet the person who did this hasnt actually even spoken to the teacher to find out what actually happened.
A five year olds view of events are very different from an adults.

Cam Wed 28-Jul-04 19:57:33

I don't agree with your last sentence Hercules.

hercules Wed 28-Jul-04 20:09:27

Children of all ages retell things differently to suit their aim. Adults do this as well. Where would we be if we took the word of a five year old to be exact without finding out from someone else what happened.
My ds told me all sorts of things and still do that I know to be a twist of the truth. I do it as wellif I want to get a point across.
Five year olds see the world differently and will retell it to suit them. I have no idea if this happened in this case but noone does without discussing it with the adult.
It doesnt make them naughty just human. As adults we need to recognise this and take what they say with a pinch of salt rather than leaping in and slagging off the adult involved.

marthamoo Wed 28-Jul-04 20:24:52

While I do think children should have access to drinking water at all times (and they do in my ds's school - as others have mentioned they have sports bottles on the table) I cannot condone a 5 year old pushing a teacher. I would be appalled if my child did that. If the teacher had said he was not allowed at that time to have a drink I don't see what choice she had other than to take the bottle away from him when he went to get it. A teacher has to maintain control and discipline in a classroom - she couldn't allow herself to be undermined in that way, she would immediately lose her authority in the classroom. I doubt very much that she was taunting him by holding it above his head - she was probably just holding it out of his reach. I don't know - I wasn't there, and I wouldn't take a child's word as absolute gospel either, they have different ways of interpreting things. When I was 4 I told all and sundry that the mark on my face was where "Mummy had burned me with a cigarette." I had actually run into the cigarette she was holding. I don't think I would have left it to fester over the summer holidays - I would have gone in to have a word with his teacher the next day.

It sounds like you are unhappy with his schooling altogether (and I agree the joined up writing at 5 is ridiculous - ds1 has only just started this at the end of Year 2, and plenty of the children can't do it at all) but pushing an adult is not acceptable behaviour wherever your son is educated. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

donnie Wed 28-Jul-04 22:36:10

it's not harsh marthamoo, it is common sense.Pushing is definitely NOT ok.End of.

tigermoth Thu 29-Jul-04 09:07:15

somehow it seems to me that a whole chunk has been missed out of this story. A child asks for a drink, teacher says it's not the right time for drinks, child gets flask from lunchbox, teacher holds it over his head, child pushes teacher, teacher threatens exclusion if it happens again.

Well, is this the first time the child has asked for a drink? has the teacher provided a cup of water many times already that day? has the teacher warned to child not to ask again? was break time coming up? I don't know what to think.

I can see good reasons why a teacher would not allow water flasks permanently on a desk. My sons are fiddlers. I guarantee they would be forever unscrewing the lids and inevitably water would get spilt. At worst you could have quite a water fight with 30 children all squirting their drinks bottles at each other.

I cannot imagine that a teacher or classroom assistant would not respond to a plea for a drink if it happened the once, unless lunchtinme or breaktime was about to start. If dilligaf's boy had only asked the once, and the teacher responded as she did, then that's bad.

A slightly similar thing happened with my son in reception. Apparently he kept asking if he could go off to the loos by himself during lesson time. The teachers were fine about him doing this to begin with, but cottoned on to the fact that he was more happy to be in the loos than in the classroom. The teacher talked to us about the need for ds to fit in with school routine and said she would stop letting him go to the loo alone during lesson time if this continued. He would be allowed to go only when an assistant was free to take him. I had no problem with this - it didn't feel like she was being harsh because she had spoken to us, and my son was making going to the loo into a game.

dilligaf Fri 30-Jul-04 07:48:18

i agree that under no circumstances should a child push a teacher. i was just explaining the background to what happened. we have told ds that no way do you either refuse to do what the teacher says nor do you push or hit any adult. On the whole the school have tried very hard to help him settle in. I think the problem of the drink came about because he was not getting a drink at lunchtime he was bringing it home unopened. have spoken to the school and dinner ladies will try to ensure he gets a drink. also i think the other teacher (job share) tends to let them have a drink when they want one so he was perhaps confused as to the rule - still as you say no excuse. i am hoping he will settle down next term. we are reinforcing the kind of behaviour he needs to exhibit in school. he actually seems to be making progresss with writng i have been trying to do a little reading and writing with him everyday so he maybe he will feel more able to cope with the demands placed on him. at the end of the day ia am sure we all (school and home) want the same things for him. I was actually told what happened by another adult who was present.

littlemissbossy Fri 30-Jul-04 08:21:33

For what it's worth, my dss's school have a policy now about taking extra drinks into school. Reception, Yr1 and Yr2 are given a drink after morning and afternoon breaks, either milk (that parents have to pay for) or water. Yrs 3-6 can take a sports bottle with water to drink throughout the day, it is classed as a privilege and they have strict rules i.e. not throwing it round the classroom or at each other!
BTW I agree that it was wrong of him to just take the drink and push the teacher ... but let's not forget he's only 5!!! try not to worry too much, my dss also once kicked his teacher because "that woman is always shouting" - he never did again though.

dilligaf Fri 30-Jul-04 08:32:36

thanks lets hope it was a one off he never pushes other children so it was a bit out of character.we are going on holiday tomorrow so iwont be online for 3 weeks no internet access. will let you all know how he is in the new term

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