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Ds2 year 11 hasn't applied to college. He's depressessed and has social anxiety

(13 Posts)
FreakinScaryCaaw Thu 11-May-17 13:12:40

I'm so concerned about ds2. He's doing his gcses soon. He won't discuss college or what he's doing after school.

His social anxiety is at a high at the moment. Also he's been looking at websites about lonliness, why he doesn't fit in, why people ignore him, is he ugly. But most worryingly suicide sites. He's been self harming and we've visited the gp last week. He's back on cahms waiting list. School have been informed.

Ds2 is doing well at school and there's never any behaviour issues. Teachers love him. I just wish he loved himself.

I just wish I could help.

Copeland5 Thu 11-May-17 17:06:21

Hi, my 2 foster children go to a local catholic primary school.By choosing to send them there I accept that Catholacism will be a big part of the curriculum & while I support this as part of their education in school I have become increasingly concerned about how strict this has become since the school recruited a new head teacher 2 years ago. She now expects all
Pupils to attend mass on a Sunday & attend the first holy communion which will take place on a Saturday. I feel this intrusion into family time is too much to expect, Do other parents have the same issues at other Catholic Primary schools?

BuckingFrolicks2 Thu 11-May-17 17:11:25

Op my son was very much the same at that age. It is so stressful for you.

The only thing that helped my DS was private therapy with a specialising teenagers. If you can afford that ?

Just focus on each day and don't look ahead too much. And get lots of support for yourself because my god is it confusing scary and depressing.

Good luck. Sorry I can't be more helpful. Make sure he's eating and sleeping well and even tho he may grumble keep spending time with him

BeachysSandyFlipflops Thu 11-May-17 17:13:00

I think you may have misposted, @Copeland5

Is there a sixth form at your ds' school or does he have to move?

I think with increasing talk of suicide and visiting website, you need to contact CAMHS again with this information. They really need to see him soon and may put him on the urgent call out list until his actual therapy starts.

On the college side, can you talk to the current school, maybe get an idea of where other students are going, take a look at some college websites (just so you've done a bit of the groundwork for him). I wouldn't mention that you are doing any of this, tbh, just keep the information up your sleeve so you can assist him when he's ready....

We were in exactly the same boat 12 months ago.

FreakinScaryCaaw Fri 12-May-17 00:14:27

Thanks for your replies although I agree someone may have the wrong thread grin

I've contacted his head of year. I've checked his history yesterday and today and it's been about girls and crushes.

Had a massive breakthrough today. He's agreed to go on the ncs course nearby. There's a course linked to a college in the town I work in. So he most probably won't know a soul. He's really keen and was telling his brother about it tonight on the phone. Ds1 is at uni. So ds2 will go away the first week and the second but staying at a uni or college last 2 weeks they work on a community project.

So it's massive to us that he's so keen. He engaged better tonight too and went to a snooker hall.

Hopefully there'll be more good days to come?

BeachysSandyFlipflops Fri 12-May-17 07:57:21

That's really good news. The NCS is a great scheme. We were going to do it this year, but the local one clashed with our family holiday.

Hope it continues. Might be a rocky road over the next few weeks with exams, but hopefully he can make some decisions about what he wants to do next year.

MissEliza Fri 12-May-17 13:04:34

I'm pleased to hear that Op. I wish my ds would do NCS. I think it sounds great for kid's confidence.

ShiningArmour Fri 12-May-17 17:08:07

I'm so pleased for you both smile

FreakinScaryCaaw Sat 13-May-17 21:34:33

Thanks everyone. I hope he gets better soon.

FreakinScaryCaaw Sat 13-May-17 21:34:43

Thanks everyone. I hope he gets better soon.

eatingtomuch Sun 14-May-17 05:34:46

You can apply for college at anytime, most will accept applications until mid October (some later).
I would focus on his exams and once they have finished look for open days at the local college.
I had to to do this for my DS we didn't enrol for a course until the July, there was no way he could have managed thinking about courses while doing his GCSEs ( he is diagnosed with anxiety).
So please do not worry about college there is plenty of time and opportunities.

smellylittleorange Sun 14-May-17 14:44:50

is there a drop in youth centre near you that specialises in counselling for young children. My local one is called 'offtherecord' they do one to one counselling sessions , course drop ins Etc and you do not have to be referred ..worth a look whilst waiting for CAMHS

FreakinScaryCaaw Sun 14-May-17 17:46:18

Thank you both of you.

He wouldn't go for counselling. I wish he would. MIND would see him but he won't.

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