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Dreamer of dreams,born out of my due time, Why should I strive to set the crooked straight. Wm Morris

(772 Posts)
indignatio Wed 28-Feb-07 16:05:36

Hopefully the link from the other thread will work

My stats

ds is 4.5 - summer born
In reception class

Has issues with:-
Easy distractability (school work and practical tasks)
Concentration problems when not totally engaged by something (95% of the time)
Getting "lost" in the middle of a complicated sentence/explaination.
Bossy manner
Isolation at school
Poor eye contact
Repetition of sentences until he hears the acknowledgement
No herding instinct

On the positive
Very loving boy
Exceptional reader for his age
Good at maths
Lots of "home" friends
If gripped by something, can concentrate on it for ages

teacher initially thought he might have dyspraxia - no longer thinks so.
I consider that he has more add traits, but would not go so far as to say he has add.
SENCO to informally assess him next week and then meeting to be arranged with parents, teacher and senco shortly thereafter.

Not sure what else I should put in.

Aloha Wed 28-Feb-07 16:34:44

If you are worried I would go through your gp to see a developmental paediatrician. A SENCO obviously cannot diagnose anything though a great one can be a huge asset.

miljee Wed 28-Feb-07 17:42:31

I agree with aloha, but the fact is he IS still very young- obviously it's important to detect future problems young but having him formally assessed and thus 'within the system', even on a 'wait and watch' basis will be useful and may hopefully put your mind at rest. And EVEN if there's the slightest suggestion of ADD or ASD, the having 'home friends' is an important indicator that he does have social skills but maybe either doesn't feel inclined or is too unsure to use them in the mayhem of a schoolday!

My DS, now 7.5 was on a 6 monthly watch by a paediatrician for 3 years from 15 months with a possible ASD diagnosis, but you wouldn't know now EXCEPT there's still only fleeting eye contact. Basically he grew out of it!

indignatio Wed 28-Feb-07 19:20:27

Thank you aloha and Miljee.

Sorry I was not more clear in my post, this is a thread (rather like an antenatal one) where anyone with a similar daydreaming child (it was linked from a similar thread which I had started) can put details of their child and their current issues so that we can support one another and suggest strategies that have worked for us/our child.

At present, I am happy with how my child's issues are being handled by the school. In due course, I may well wish to post a help message, and hope that I will receive helpful advice as well as a big hug. in the meantime, I am here to offer empathy (and possibly suggestions) to others going through similar trials and tribulations.

sphil Wed 28-Feb-07 22:50:00

Indignatio - great thread title!

OK - DS1's stats

5.6 - in Yr 1.

Easily distracted and day-dreamy (esp in school).
Forgetful- has to be reminded about every item to take home at the end of the day and prompted about domestic routines.
Sometimes slow to follow instructions - auditory processing problems?
Often doesn't finish work in school - or finished work is of a very scrappy standard (esp craft stuff).
Needs adult prompting for tasks invoving a number of steps.
Fine motor skills difficulties - but huge improvements in last year
Gross motor difficulties - again much improved - but still behind peers. Can only just ride a bike with stabilisers.
Speech sometimes hesitant and/or disordered - keen to express complicated ideas and use a wide vocab but often gets unstuck! Sentences sometimes trail away or change subject in the middle. Moves around a lot when he's talking
Sometimes doesn't answer a question but makes a (to me) completely unrelated statement!

All the above are much worse when tired or stressed

On the other hand

Excellent reader
Curious - asks amazing questions.
Loving, happy, laid back, tolerant
Learns very fast
Vivid imagination

Sorry - went on a bit there

sphil Sat 03-Mar-07 08:35:37

Just bumping this for the others!

indignatio Mon 05-Mar-07 11:13:53

Hi Sphil
Just had an interesting w/e with my dad discussing daydreaming et al. He remembers being a daydreamer as a kid and we also tried to test out ds' hearing - not good (cold query) so I shall be taking ds to the gp for a hearing test pronto.

The moving around when talking is another of ds' traits

I will watch ds to see if he is worse when tired or stressed.

sphil Mon 05-Mar-07 20:05:44

Do you think the others have seen this Indignatio? Maybe we need to put names on it like the last one - but I don't want anyone to feel they can't join in!

DS1's teacher has just sent homework home - he has to draw and label three things in each of four different rooms in the house and write what each one is made of. OK - but this is on an A4 sheet (most of which is taken up with a drawing of a house) and the boxes where he's supposed to write/draw are tiny. It does make me cross - how on earth is a child who struggles with fine motor skills going to make a good job of this?
Last week they had to go dressed as a character for World Book Day - and then they made them change for PE! So guess who came out minus most of his costume and with the rest of it on back to front? GRRRRRRR

sphil Mon 05-Mar-07 20:09:16

Sorry - completely ignored your post while ranting . DS1 had glue ear as a toddler and I do sometimes wonder if it returns from time to time.

Interesting - he had swimming lesson yesterday and was concentrating really well. Afterwards I said how pleased I was with how well he'd listened and he said 'That's because the teacher was using signs as well as talking so I could hear better.'

singersgirl Mon 05-Mar-07 23:37:08

Hi guys. Sorry I didn't notice this before -I will post when I have the energy to sum up DS1, but it's too late for me to think about it now!

indignatio Tue 06-Mar-07 09:23:56

Hi Sphil and Singersgirl
Ds concentrated really well with his letters homework yesterday - maybe the full moon helps !!

My dad also remembers a period in his life (but not when !!) when he was quite dependant on seeing someones lips to understand wheat they were saying - I seem to remember finding the same too.

I wonder if the seeing the actions/lips help focus the concentration and make it easier to focus on what is being said rather than all the external stimuli. Swimming baths are notorious places for white noise - a lot of external stimuli.

I think that given time, the others will see the thread - there is a link from the previous thread - and as you so rightly said - we don't want anyone to feel excluded.

Hallgerda Tue 06-Mar-07 14:56:48

Hi - I will post at length next week (I'm in the throes of an essay crisis at the moment). All the best to everyone.

Hallgerda Mon 19-Mar-07 09:47:18

My stats -

ds3 - summer born
Year 3
Has had concentration problems with things he didn't want to do in the first place (used to be almost any school work, but he's putting in more effort now)
Forgetful (but again, I think he's growing out of it - usually has the right stuff at the end of the day)
Comes out with utter twaddle at times (largely because he thinks with his mouth open and doesn't like admitting he's made a mistake)
Disorganized over writing stories
Bossy show-off manner
Manages to give teachers the impression he's socially isolated (though he tells me so much about other people in the class at the end of the day it can't actually be true - and he is invited to parties etc)


Not unduly influenced by what other people think, and sufficiently self-confident not to feel a need to change in order to fit in
Very good at reading
Good at maths
Strong willed

A few years ago, he would have been almost exactly like your description of your ds, indignatio. The eye contact problem was resolved through constant nagging along "Look at me when I'm talking to you" lines, and most of the other issues responded to a similar firm approach.

I've now had the follow-up meeting following the latest parents' night onslaught, and the SENCO seems reasonably convinced that he doesn't have a language processing problem and doesn't need a speech therapist. I'm continuing to work on the essay planning and thinking before opening mouth issues, and all seems to be going smoothly for now.

castlesintheair Mon 19-Mar-07 11:50:35

Hello, please can I join?

I absolutely love the thread title, I actually texted the exact same 2 lines to my SIL on Friday about DS. How coincidental is that?!

DS 5.1
in reception

gets "lost" in class as has problem with understanding
has knock-on effect on concentration, self-esteem "I can't do it" before he's even tried
also knock-on effect on speech which is often jumbled
likes doing things on his own (is this a negative? - I'm like that!)

very chatty and friendly
doing okay with reading
good at maths/puzzles
bright but time it takes to understand brings his overall performance down
little mister sunshine

Recent dx of language disorder. Just paid a fortune to private ed psych to have Weschler test done and to private paed who told us what we already knew (brilliant teacher told us in half a day what the problem was). Waiting for reports to come in and then whole lot being sent off to statementing board in the hope that he gets some help in class.

Has anyone's DC benefitted from speech therapy? Have been told on numerous occasions that they can't do much for him. We will (again) have to go privately and I'm wondering how often he should see one.

indignatio Mon 19-Mar-07 12:06:44

Hallgerda - it was so lovely to read such a positive post.

We have parents evening tomorrow - and first meeting with Senco. I have already prepared my version of a IEP which seems to have gone down well with the teacher and Senco - watch this space.

Since starting this thread I have felt a lot better knowing that Ds is not the only one.

It would be great to see if these boys (as it is only boys so far) have other things in common.

ds is an only child
ds is left handed
ds was born on 24th July - Leo
ds has bright parents (oh how I deliberated as to whether to put that one in !!)
ds loves mazes
ds is very loving and kind towards younger children
ds has overprotective parents

ds can also be a pain in the bottom at times - so not entirely biased mummy here.

indignatio Mon 19-Mar-07 12:11:21

Welcome castlesintheair - how is your ds' writing - I ask as mothers on here of older boys than our dses have had writing issues

filthymindedvixen Mon 19-Mar-07 12:16:40

Your thread title has leaped out at me and made me well up. That's my beautiful boy...!
he's 9.5. I have just had another depressing parents evening where they spent 20 minutes telling me poor his concentration is and how distractable he is and how worrying it must be for me as a child can get through life without writing thanks to pcs etc but noone can get through life without concentrating...
He's dyslexic,
highly distractable,
cannot write (fine motor control problems)
cannot spell
can't do attitude
very stubborn
leaps into conversation
over sensitive
Can read very well but will not read for pleasure.
Hates group activity
Hates being taught

Loves to learn under his own steam
Is sensitive to other people
popular in a small way (has several Very close friends rather than loved by all)
Extremely bright
good at maths/science/puzzles/code breaking
knows a formiddable amount of 'stuff' about a formiddable amount of things
Is brighter than his mother..
Can focus for hours on something he cares about....

I'm so glad to found you lot, I have felt very alone recently as he doesn't fit under other peoples' SN umbrella IFKWIM.

indignatio Mon 19-Mar-07 12:24:54

welocme fmv. The thread title brought a lump to my throat when I read it - hence using it.

Does your ds have any help in class ?
Have the teachers ever seen him totally absorbed in anything eg maths and puzzles ?

filthymindedvixen Mon 19-Mar-07 12:32:27

he gets 'support' along with the others with SEN. He says he doesn't feel 'supported'. He talks too much to endear himself to the other teachers he can't stop himself asking questions and going off-topic. He forgets what he is told to do...

He is not hyperactive, and I'm not sure how much of the Attention deficit problem is within the realms of 'normal' for a dylexic boy IFKWIM

castlesintheair Mon 19-Mar-07 12:32:46

Yes, it is so nice not to be alone. For the last couple of years I thought noone had a child like mine. In spite of their struggles, they are wonderful aren't they? There is something truly special about my DS. I have 2 DDs as well.

Indignatio, my DS's writing is ok at the moment for a 5 yr old I think. Noone has said anything ... yet!

Re your other list:
ds is eldest of 3 DCs
ds is right handed
ds was born on 8th Feb - aquarius
ds has bright parents
ds is very loving and kind towards younger children
ds has overprotective parents - only his mother

filthymindedvixen Mon 19-Mar-07 12:39:42

re your other list

ds is eldest of 2 boys
ds is right handed - but he still swaps around from R to L.
ds is Capricorn
ds has bright parents (? His dad certainly is, I'm brighter than 'average' but...)
ds is very loving and kind towards younger children
ds has overprotective parents - especially his mother (but he nearly died when he was four, so I'm allowed to be overprotective - I feel he's special because he is meant to be here still)

indignatio Mon 19-Mar-07 12:51:45

castles - the dx - was it just "language disorder" or something more specific ?

fmv - I don't know much about dyslexia (so forgive me if my questions seem odd)
Is it not usual to have some one on one support for dyslexic children ?
Is attention deficit a recognised symptom (wrong word) of dyslexia ?

indignatio Mon 19-Mar-07 12:52:31

trait not symptom - apologies

filthymindedvixen Mon 19-Mar-07 13:09:32

indignatio - he is not sufficiently 'bad' for the school to arrange 1 on 1 help <sigh>
As far as the 'symptoms' go...
I've just copied and pasted this from dyslexia research trust...''The most obvious symptom is unexpectedly poor reading compared with the individual's general ability. However, bad spelling, problems remembering telephone numbers and appointments, and bad handwriting can also be signs of dyslexia, particularly in the many high-achieving dyslexics who have managed to compensate for their reading difficulties.

Other symptoms include difficulties in learning things by rote (for example the months of the year), a tendency to clumsiness, poor concentration and phonological problems (finding it hard to sort out the sounds within words). Many dyslexics also report visual symptoms, such as a tendency for letters to blur or move around on the page, strain due to glare from the whiteness of the page, or a sensation of "crowding" of the letters on the page.''

I should add there are different forms of dyslexia, my son can read perfectly well, but has what can loosely be called aural dyslexia. (phonological problems)

Dyslexia also tends to run in families... we have a history in our family spanning several generations. The school are still reluctant to accept our dx (which came from a private specialist)

filthymindedvixen Mon 19-Mar-07 13:11:38

got to get off MN (haven't ahcieved anything today, ) but thank you for being here today! It's been a sigh of relief for me to feel others know what we go through on a daily basis without someone saying ''oh, that's just boys...''

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