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Visiting schools while I'm pregnant.

(76 Posts)
Sprinkles12345 Tue 31-Jan-17 04:13:24

We are looking at both state and independent. We are looking now as for independent it's better to have name down the day baby is born. Just wondering will the state schools think I'm a bit odd? confused has anyone else done this?

GinIsIn Tue 31-Jan-17 04:16:36

Umm..... Unless the school is Eton or Harrow, I should imagine they might think it's a bit odd. Sorry! How do you know you will even be in the same catchment area in 4 years, or that the school's ofsted rating won't have changed?

GinIsIn Tue 31-Jan-17 04:18:13

Also, elite private schools aside, I would think the important thing is to pick the right school for your child, which isn't possible if you've never even met them. Wouldn't it be better to wait until they are here and you've got to know them so you can view schools with their personality in mind?

Sprinkles12345 Tue 31-Jan-17 04:30:19

I don't mean the private school thinking it's odd. I mean the state schools.

But really, how much of a child's personality do you really know at 3/4?

If I waited until then, private options would no longer be an option.

GinIsIn Tue 31-Jan-17 04:35:17

Yes I meant the state schools will think it's odd. With elite private schools you need to put the child's name down early so that makes sense. State schools will think it's odd. As to their personalities, I should imagine you know a lot more of them at 3 than when they haven't even been born yet! confused

Sprinkles12345 Tue 31-Jan-17 04:38:12

Oh of course but I don't understand what personality would make you pick a different school? At 3!

User0157 Tue 31-Jan-17 04:38:31

Why would you bother visiting the state schools now? You can't reserve a place and a lot will change in 4 years. Visit them nearer the time and see how they compare to the private schools you put her name down for.

Ponderingprivately Tue 31-Jan-17 05:06:08

I know quite a lot about my daughter's personality age 4. I know she is quiet, a little shy and academically able in some areas. I know she would thrive in a calm, smaller school if I can find this for her.

Visiting a state school over 4 years ahead is a complete waste of time - everything can change. I expect the same goes for state school. We're not even living in the same area we were when she was born and I wouldn't have predicted that then. I would just wait until the year before she goes to school before you start looking around.

LBOCS2 Tue 31-Jan-17 05:08:29

Ah ha ha. As the owner of a 4yo I can assure you that your child will very much make their personality known to you.

I remember thinking that a baby was a blank canvas that you could almost 'mould'. While I'm sure that parental input has some bearing, actually you can see your child's personality very early on. So yes, given a free choice then I expect you would prioritise some things over others as your child needs.

Having said all of that, I really wouldn't approach state schools to have a look around at this point. For one thing, you don't get a free choice - you either have to live in catchment or within the 'last admitted distance' for even a chance at the school, and these things do change a lot year on year, as do the schools themselves.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 31-Jan-17 05:09:02

You have no idea whether your child will have additional needs, be incredibly loud and boisterous or very clingy and shy.

Children have massive, immense, obvious personalities at 3/4; traits which last a lifetime.

LBOCS2 Tue 31-Jan-17 05:09:40

And they don't take applications until the January before your child is due to start - so there's no advantage to be had in looking now.

physicsisfun Tue 31-Jan-17 05:12:03

If you do visit a state school you had best pretend you have an older child who you've left at nursery wink

Otherwise they will think you're very strange.

Sprinkles12345 Tue 31-Jan-17 05:18:18

Ok, I'll just visit the 2 private ones then (usually need name down on date of birth to have a v high chance of acceptance)

sashh Tue 31-Jan-17 05:42:40

Oh of course but I don't understand what personality would make you pick a different school? At 3!


I have a stubborn streak, a really stubborn streak.

When my mother was 8+ months pregnant I was still in breach position and quite happy with it. I musty have been happy because my mother went through the procedure of the DR moving me.

Within a couple of hours I turned back.

This happened three times, until I was left alone and changed position just a day or two before I was born.

My nephew, as a toddler, was obsessed with anything mechanical, he would turn his sister's pram on its side to spin the wheels and would virtually dance a jig if he saw a tractor.

He is now about to complete his first degree, in physics, and start a masters in engineering.

Sprinkles12345 Tue 31-Jan-17 05:43:50

But how would any of those make you pick a different school?

holepunchkid Tue 31-Jan-17 05:44:25

Very few primary private schools still do the name down at birth thing. Have you checked?

Sprinkles12345 Tue 31-Jan-17 05:46:56


LBOCS2 Tue 31-Jan-17 05:57:38

Ok, so you have a shy child who doesn't like large crowds. You may pick a school which only has a 30 intake instead of 60 or 90.

Or you have an academically able child so you choose one which supports 11+ preparation. Or on the flip side, a less academically able one who needs extra support - so you go with a school with support in place.

Or a child who is extremely outgoing and likes playing make believe - and one school has a drama after school club and another doesn't, so you choose the one with.

There are lots of different factors.

Sprinkles12345 Tue 31-Jan-17 06:00:56

At 3 you know if they'll be doing the 11+ hmm

Clearly we are just going to disagree.

PinkFondantFancy Tue 31-Jan-17 06:04:44

I'd just look at the private ones. Depending on how much they charge for registration you could just put name down without looking for now anyway?

LBOCS2 Tue 31-Jan-17 06:06:06

No. But at 3/4 you know how they measure against their peers, and that's basically all the 11+ is. That is what was known as an example; there are many factors involved in choosing - but you obviously know better so I'm going to bow out now and let someone else help you.

LHReturns Tue 31-Jan-17 06:08:43

Most of the top private London nurserys and pre--prep schools in London require name down at birth if you want to be on their main list for a list. You can try later but you will end up on a waiting list.

LHReturns Tue 31-Jan-17 06:09:41

*main list for a PLACE.

KateDaniels2 Tue 31-Jan-17 06:13:48

You will know your child inside out when they are three.

We opted for a smaller intake as dd was quite shy and one with a lot of pastoral type care. The outstanding school in our area quite clearly was more bothered by results not what was best the kids.

Alot of people look at secindaries when pick primaries. We did. We wanted her to go to the secondary school she is now in, which influence which primary she went to as i wanted her to move with friends. Obviously you cant gaurentee anything but we had a general plan.

I cant see how having your name doen for state schools will influence the application, tbh.

Sprinkles12345 Tue 31-Jan-17 06:18:24

I wouldn't be visiting state schools to get my name down for them, but it would help me decide if I want my child to go there and if I should risk not paying reg fee for private in the hope they get in or if I know they are not as good as the private to pay the reg fee.

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