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Should we go private? Would you in this situation?

(19 Posts)
brushes150 Mon 30-Jan-17 17:06:16

We can afford to, but decided to not accept the offer to our favourite school (private) as there is an Outstanding primary in our village. It's really nice (walking distance) and all the children in the village go. We are in new houses which are in the village but where kind of built on the end of it? We are in the catchment zone but not within the accepted pupil zone if that makes sense?

She didn't get a place, we got our second choice (it's an infant school that's rated Inadequate) there was no other schools to put second (we were out of catchment and had no hope really) and had been going for a little while now. She is in Reception and started in September. The junior school joint to the infant is Satisfactory so a bit better but is a religious school (something we aren't keen on). She is on the waiting list for the other school but still haven't been offered a place.

We really hate the school she is at, the pastoral care isn't very good, and when we went and spoke to the teacher (about something to do with some children being violent to her) she looked a bit confused and I had to remind her who my daughter is and she still didn't know... Is that common? I'm not knocking her for that but it just seems like she's so lost in that school. The bullying is just called "being a child" and is just accepted and I really just hate that they have no idea who she is, how she's doing and just brushes things under the carpet.

Would you keep staying with this school and hope that a place comes up in the Outstanding one. We haven't heard anything yet. Or would you move to the private school? (Have been offered a place for year 1)

LIZS Mon 30-Jan-17 17:12:39

Don't assume that there won't be any less bullying or disruptive behaviour. Having said that if you feel you aren't being listened to already it is unlikely to improve.

brushes150 Mon 30-Jan-17 17:14:11

I would hope that it would be dealt with though. I don't think children at private are automatically angels, it's the fact that the pastoral care is better. I think the Outstanding school is almost as good so would be happy, so I suppose it's a case of do we keep her in the 'bad' school until we hopefully get a place (but how long will that take?) or if we move her for year 1.

Hillingdon Mon 30-Jan-17 17:22:44

I think life is too short to stay in an inadequate school. If you can afford private I would do it.

I have years of experience in the private sector and private schools need to ensure that bullying etc is addressed promptly. Parents who are paying school fees despite being entitled to a state place tend to not stand any nonsense

Pallisers Mon 30-Jan-17 17:25:18

I would move her. It is the regret of my life that I left my dd in a state school where she was being bullied for as long as I did.

Peanutbutterrules Mon 30-Jan-17 17:30:47

Without doubt move.

BertrandRussell Mon 30-Jan-17 17:40:42

Have you asked where you are on the waiting list for the other school?

BertrandRussell Mon 30-Jan-17 17:42:31

Do you feel like going in to bat at the inadequate school even if you are planning to move? They should have an anti bullying policy.

BertrandRussell Mon 30-Jan-17 17:43:43

"don't think children at private are automatically angels, it's the fact that the pastoral care is better"

Do you actually know that it is? It isn't always. Do you know other parents to ask?

brushes150 Mon 30-Jan-17 17:50:54

The pastoral care in the private school we want her to go to is absolutely better than the inadequate school. I wasn't meaning in general smile

Thanks all

AllPowerfulLizardPerson Mon 30-Jan-17 17:53:18

Is there still a vacant place at the private school?

brushes150 Mon 30-Jan-17 18:06:59

They have offered us a place in Year 1

farfallarocks Mon 30-Jan-17 18:16:27

Go for it

PancakesAndMapleSyrup Mon 30-Jan-17 18:21:31

Take the y1 place and dont look back!

Evergreen777 Mon 30-Jan-17 18:29:44

I'd accept the Y1 place offer from the private school, but keep her on the list for the outstanding state one. It's quite possible you'd get a place by September (possibly before), and the worst that can happen is that you'll lose your deposit for the private one - or possibly a term's fees - which is still a small proportion of what you'd be paying overall.

Was it your child's class teacher you went to talk to about the bullying? If so I would definitely expect her to know who your DD was shock. If it was the head, then maybe not. Recpetion age children do hit and hurt each other sometimes. That's not in itself a sign of a bad school, or really violent classmates. They can grow out of it, but that's much more likely if the school are identifying there's a problem (whether or not they label it as bullying), and helping all the children involved to relate better to one another. So, the response you received doesn't seem adequate. I'd keep an eye on that one, even if you are moving DD in September as it's still half a year away.

The LA should be able to tell you where you are on the waiting list for the village school. And other parents may know the grapevine around who might be leaving anytime soon. Though bear in mind you can go down the list if anyone moves into catchment, closer to the school than you are.

brushes150 Mon 30-Jan-17 18:34:13

Yes, her class teacher sad yes, we know that kids can pinch, etc. DD did it once at nursery! However, no one seems to think it even warrants a speaking to. I was shocked she had no idea who she was and even when I tried to remind her, she had no bloody clue. I said her name and she just laughs and goes "blimey, I don't actually remember teaching a (DD's name)" and says how she must be a very quiet one hmmhmm

BertrandRussell Mon 30-Jan-17 18:34:18

Have you considered what you're going to do about the issues at the school she's at? Even if she does move for next year, there's still 6 months to go.

Write every incident down, and make notes of every conversation you have. And keep going back.

OSETmum Mon 30-Jan-17 18:41:27

Are you sure you spoke to the class teacher not a PPA cover teacher? I don't see how it's possible for her not to know who she is. At the very least she must do the register. If it's true, then I'd be removing my dd immediately. What if she goes AWOL, how would the teacher know?

So yes, I'd take the private place and see what I could do with regards to dd's schooling in the meantime.

Ginmummy1 Wed 01-Feb-17 09:03:22

I also can't believe the teacher wouldn't know who your daughter is after over a term. I'm sorry - that is just not possible in a class of 30. You must have had a parents' evening by now? There is normally one in the first term.

Definitely keep going back, and record every visit. If the teacher is not giving you appropriate answers to your concerns, escalate to a more senior member of staff.

Even if you do move to the private school for Y1, you can't ignore these issues for nearly two terms.

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