secondary school(9 Posts)
hi all, i am new to this so bare with me please,basically i was after a little advice and some general feedback,my son has just started secondary school he is half way through year seven and just has not settled there,he does not seem to of found his click and is generally not happy,i am not convinced that the school is achieving as well as it should be and in light of all this i have came to the conclusion that at this stage he would probably be better elsewhere,i have managed to find him a place at another school however he is reluctant to move,does anybody have any feed back on the best way to make the transition as painless as possible for him and does anybody have any reassuring words for me that i am actually doing the right thing as this is a big decision and of course i want to know that i am doing whats best for him i don't want to make matters worse,many thanks.
of course you don't force a child to move schools against their wishes, for no reason. Why would you do that?
It's a huge change from primary to secondary. Children at primary school have the security of one teacher for a whole year who gets to know them really well. Most children are excited when they transfer from primary to secondary and are looking forward to all those exciting new subjects and new activities. The reality is generally one of great disappointment, when they realise that many teachers are dull, boring and uninspiring. The large number of studied subjects is often over-whelming and the constant movement around a large building with your bag of books, is stressful. In short, it's horrible and changing your child's school will make no difference. The best thing you can do, is to first calmly talk to your child with understanding, showing him that you acknowledge his feelings. Contact your child's Head of Year/House so that support can be given if needed. Don't keep moving your child around in the hopes that things will be different elsewhere-they won't be!
If he doesn't actually want to move then I wouldn't. Speak to his tutor. Could he try extra curricular activities or clubs to help him make friends?
It's not about the achievement of the school. It's about the progress your child is making. If you believe he isn't making progress then contact subject teachers.
He's the one who needs to be happy about the school. Not you.
FWIW my son took months to settle properly into Secondary school. (He didn't go where his primary friends went.) he is doing really well and the school turned out to have been the best one for him.
If he is reluctant then another change may do more harm than good.
I would chat to him before you make any final decisions. See if he will do a good/bad list, of both, and talk through the points.
Whatever you do, I would not push your feelings and thoughts about the new school onto him as it could backfire on you.
What have you done so far to try to make this work ?
What communication have you had with the school ?
What have they said?
What has been put into place?
Some dc do find it all a bit overwhelming. He has only been there a term.
Have you asked him for 3 things he likes about the school and 3 things he doesn't, for example?
I'd seriously reconsider moving him if you've not done all this - why do you think it would be different at any other school, presumably a school you didn't think was as good as this in the first place ?
Have you spoken to his form tutor? What do they say? I know dc school would be helpful if i raised this. There is a group for children who are finding it hard to settle for example. (Although you would only know about it if you asked.)
Just as an aside. I am on steep learning curve with a year 7 ds so bear with me...
Check nothing silly going on on 'games' etc. I became aware that an innocent seeming game- Clash Royale- had a chat feature that year 7 boys were not using appropriately. Will not bore you with the dramas I had but I am MUCH more aware now and policing things...
Check no silliness like that going on.
I think you should openly discuss this with your DS, the good and bad side of the current school and the new school. If he still want to stay, then let him stay and help him to succeed in the current school.
My friend moved her DD to an outstanding secondary school and her DD really wanted to move back. We all think her DD should try to settle in the new school as it is such a wonderful school. Unfortunately, her DD has never settled and was turned into a completely not care attitude and her academic work suffered a lot.And her DD was miserable too.
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