Lazy child and above average reasoning scores(21 Posts)
My 9 y/o DS does surprisingly well in all his reasoning tests but is bone idle.
His day to day work is poor and he's painfully slow at handwriting. One word answers with no capital letters or full stops are his forte. He does love reading though and will happily read 40-50 pages of his book at bedtime. He's also good at Maths.
Does anyone have any experience of a child like him actually coming good by GCSEs? If reasoning (and CATS) tests are meant to be a measure of ability, do kids typically deliver, or will the lazy ones like him always underperform?
A good secondary school will try to make sure that as far as possible dcs achieve GCSE results linked to their ability.
Am a bit that he is being labelled as "lazy" at this stage in his education though (is this opinion yours or from the school?). It could be that the reason for his poor writing skills and slow writing is due to an as yet undiagnosed problem rather than laziness. If this is the case, he should make better progress with the right support.
He's properly lazy!
If he's told to spend 20 minutes on his homework he'll spend 15 minutes of it sharpening his pencils and staring at the ceiling and 5 minutes doing it...
He can type very quickly (when "chatting" on line with his mates) so has no issue getting the words out and written down...
His day to day work is poor and he's painfully slow at handwriting
Perhaps he is lazy, but are you absolutely certain that he does not also have an issue with handwriting? (Fine motor / hypermobilty etc)
In your shoes I would ask the class teacher and the SENCO whether this might be a problem.
I would also ask your DS (in a relaxed and open situation and way) what it is that stops him from writing longer answers. If he says his hand gets tired or hurts, that would strengthen the case to investigate.
My DD was referred by her SENCO to an OT assessment which confirmed this issue and suggested several actions, including small group OT interventions, (huge) pencil grips, putty etc, which proved helpful. DD is also fairly high ability (esp. NVR & vocab), with teachers always pointing to a large gap between what she can tell you and what she delivers on paper. (Better now; if she is fired up she will write a lot, but it is still messy).
My DD also often skips capital letters and punctuation (and her spelling is at best mediocre) - it seems the content and physical task of writing takes up all her attention/focus.
"A good secondary school will try to make sure that as far as possible dcs achieve GCSE results linked to their ability."
I don't know whether to laugh or shout at that comment! Good luck with that one. DS1 who has a very high IQ but sound similar to your DS was completely failed and under achieved at his "outstanding high achieving secondary", (in fairness he was no better catered for in the independent sector either), and in every school he attended since he started school at 3.
Get an assessment done (not that anyone will take any notice of its recommendations unless its very standard stuff), if something is wrong at least you and he'll know what it is.
Being "bone idle" may be his coping strategy.
Get him tested to see if he has a Specific Learning Difficulty, especially if you are thinking of going for a selective secondary school because he may need extra time in the entrance exams.
I've never really thought in terms of SLDs and I'm worried now - I've always just thought of him as a lazy child living in the shadows of his siblings.
His mean SAS is 127 (Verb 120, Quant 135, Non Verb 127) which suggests he's not daft, but clearly the weaker element is the verbal one.
Knowing where to pitch him in terms of selective secondaries is going to be quite tricky!
My son was exactly the same at that age and in fact until he turned 11. Really bright lovely boy but the minute he had to write a story he'd have a proper melt down including rolling around on the floor.
He is now in an all boys school and his favourite subject is English. He writes loads and his handwriting is really neat. Part of his issue was being totally disinterested in the subject matter. He understands now that you have to try whether you like it or not but at an all boys school the type of work they do is interesting to boys IMHO. I wouldn't panic about it but maybe talk to the teacher/school first I got told there was nothing unusual in my sons behaviour!
DS1, who has a very high IQ, was completely failed and under achieved at his "outstanding high achieving secondary", (in fairness he was no better catered for in the independent sector either), and in every school he attended since he started school at 3.
every single one? what was the common denominator here?
I could have written your post and can only empathise. DS is now 12 and things haven't improved unfortunately. I discussed my concerns with his primary school and they carried out various assessments but said everything was fine. Talking to other parents, it seemed that most boys are the same. He's now in Yr7 and I was hoping that things would improve because his new school is very strict but there is little change. Interestingly, if he can type his homework rather than write it, he'll spend more time on it and the quality will generally be better. It's the physical act of writing that he can't stand although he's fine with drawing. I just don't understand it and am hoping someone here might be able to offer some useful advice. It is a worry because exams are still written and the concern is that his writing will be so slow and scruffy that he'll lose valuable marks. I also can't ever see him revising for anything because he's not revising for tests now!
Happygardening what happened with your DS1? Did he ever achieve his full potential? Did you discuss your concerns with his schools and, if so, what was their response?
My son is lazy and procrastinates. His alevel grades very from very respectable to poor. He says he doesn't want to have the "dissatisfaction" of allowing for "standardised tesaleveto become more rigorous and disengaged from real learning."
Why can't he just get a grip and work and stop being such a principled little sir!
ADHD Inattentive???? Used to be called ADD. Takes a lot to rouse these children unless they very interested in it. Or Maybe he's just not up for learning yet.
My DS1 is 6, but, sounds just like that - he's not lazy though, he genuinely finds writing tiring, and the kerfuffle rather than doing it is avoidance behaviour.
We've had him assessed and he goes to weekly OT now to work on it all because he has issues around muscle strength and motor control among other stuff - it's all physical, and he's just figured out ways to cope by avoiding doing the stuff he finds difficult
Some of the giveaways were things like that he's very nervous on slides/swings, and he can't do monkey bars - all because he's not strong enough to stop himself falling so he's extra cautious. I didn't think twice about it until his little brother came along, and the difference between the two was so stark it was clear there was something not right with DS1
ADHD Inattentive???? Used to be called ADD
these are two separrate conditions, not one condition that has changed its name, and the OP hsn't said anything at ll that would be indicative of either
Not where I am from so I would beg to differ. It's a suggestion not a diagnosis hence the ???
I have one like that, lazy with work, teachers always saying his verbal answers are brilliant but on paper he always puts the bare minimum, poor handwriting, absolute refusal to do homework.
He sat his GCSEs last summer and achieved 2 A*, 6 A, 1B, 1C
There was a lot of work done in year 11 on exam techniques and emphasis on getting the knowledge down on paper as the examiners only have what you have written to grade you on.
I’m having exactly the same issues with my 9 year old DS. His reading age is 12+, he’s had to have his reading book removed from him as he will ignore his work and just sit at his desk reading. His textbooks at school are pretty much empty, apart from when his teacher has kept him in at lunchtime to finish his work. Homework results in him getting distressed and takes hours. But give him a short test and he will generally get 100%. A long test will score 100% in the first couple of pages and then he just loses his train of thought.
He’s had specialist cushions to try to get him to stay doing his work whilst wobbling (spent most of the lessons wearing it as a hat), given him blu tac to give him something to play with (he had managed to accumulate the school’s entire blu tac supply in his pocket by the end of the week), paperclips as a “fiddle toy” (ended up with a 3 meter paperclip chain).
We have always suspected that he has ADD and have been very careful to ensure that he has lots of extra-curricular activities to try to keep him busy (music / sport / hobbies). He has an incredibly sophisticated sense of humour, but has a very small group of friends as he is seen as slightly standoffish.
This year his teacher has seen his behaviour become more pronounced compared to his peers, probably because they are all maturing and the behaviours which were once put down to age related behaviour are clearly something else. His teacher believes that he is possibly autistic.
We now have a IEP or whatever they are called this week, that gives him additional support to have time do some physical activity when he is really struggling.
He’s going to be assessed by an EP soon and I don’t know if I should be hoping for a Sen diagnosis or “bright but lazy”. Unfortunately, we are now in a situation that he probably won’t get into an academic independent school that could possibly offer a better environment, as his school reports have been completely focused on his inability to work independently.
My 11 year old is very similar by the sounds.
So far she's got away with it.
I don't believe she has a medical or development issue. She's just bloody awkward. Won't do things until she decides it's time to. It's been apparent since she started weaning/potty training. And goes on.
I did used to wonder if she had a problem with fine motor skills. Writing was such a chore. But then in Year 4 I think it was, you could have a pen at school to write with, as long as your handwriting was neat enough. Overnight her handwriting improved into a beautiful script. She was awarded the pen, then reverted back to a sort of lazy scrawl straight afterwards.
So far she's managed to get away with it. But I do wonder what she could achieve if she actually tried. She's good at maths, understands all the grammar. She reads avidly. Spends hours typing out stories on the computer at home. But produces the absolute minimum at school when it comes to writing. She's in top groups for everything however.
Homework is painful. If it's easy, it gets done in 5 minutes. If it involves any effort (e.g. reading a passage/instructions) it gets thrown across the room with much stamping/shouting.
My MIL has only recently told me that dh was the same. I can see it in his personality actually now. He only does things if he wants to. That can be a lot later than other people decide, actually it might be a good idea to do this now.
Dh did well with O/A levels. Then flunked his degree. Then went and did another degree ten years later which he excelled at.
So I'm marking my place here and sympathising.
I have a DS 7 who is the same. I did entertain ADHD for a while, but his dad is the same.
Will not do anything, regardless of incentive, sweet talking, punishment, threats etc until he wants to do it.
So he is exceptionally bright --but every year we go into a new class and because he doesn't know the teacher will behave as if he doesn't know anything and then about a term later the teacher cottons on that he is more than capable.
I don't know why he does that, but it drives me up the wall. Everything is on his terms and I feel like I cannot parent him.
I worry for when he has to sit exams and if he can't be bothered on that day will get 0%.
We had one like this. I used to use an egg timer when he started tasks and the competitiveness in him made him want to beat the timer.
The rule in our house is no screens etc until all prep done! It soon focuses their attention.
Now performing well in a super selective! They get there in the end!
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