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How to motivate DS with 11+ work

(7 Posts)
PhoebeMcPeePee Fri 18-Mar-16 13:33:39

We are in a grammar school area and whilst we'd like DS to go to one of the grammar schools, more importantly, he does too which you would think would be the perfect motivator, but frankly he just can't be arsed with it all. He bright but not exceptional (mix of top & middle sets) so definitely not up for the super-selectives but from what I can gather, would fit very well into one school (good solid all- rounder, sporty etc). We've avoid big pressure but at his request he started weekly tutoring this year and does the bare minimum, rushes through making silly mistakes from not reading questions properly and at this rate isn't likely to pass. But he won't be told & as far as he's concerned it's a given he'll pass and go to his chosen school - he has wonderful self-belief but not helpful in this instance hmm
How can we motivate him to knuckle down and put the effort in (even if just for the next 6 months) as I know he'll be gutted when results come out.

PurpleAlerts Fri 18-Mar-16 13:54:58

How can we motivate him to knuckle down and put the effort in (even if just for the next 6 months)

Why do you assume that effort is only required for the next six months? Grammar schools are usually full of highly motivated students.

Are you sure grammar school is the right environment if he lacks motivation?

I would make him sit a full set of papers under exam conditions so he is under no illusions about what is required to pass. Also if he is the one who has instigated the tutor I would tell him that unless more effort on his part is made then you will no longer be paying for it. ( Of course that might defeat the point as you want him to go there too!)

What are your other local schools like?

PhoebeMcPeePee Fri 18-Mar-16 14:20:57

We've already threatened to stop the tutor if he doesn't keep up his side of the bargain (ie doing the work set without a major argument & some vague show of effort) and he's got until Easter to show how serious he is. The big problem is alternative schools - he wouldn't get into any in our nearby town due to catchment or lack of religion and we have no real idea where he'll end up. There's about 5 possibles - 2 awful the rest would be fine if they weren't so bloody far away!
His teachers are saying he should take the test & the school definitely isn't super academic (although I realise this sounds like a contradiction being grammar) and I honestly think he'd do well there but yes, lacking in motivation is an issue now and could be going forward.

wherehavealltheflowersgone Fri 18-Mar-16 14:25:35

It'll be easier once the open days happen in the summer ( well that's what I'm telling myself in the same situation!) do he can see what he is aiming for / the alternative.
Lots of our local GS offer a mock exam in their hall to give a feel for the real thing - ask the schools - may be a good wake up call?!
Finally we resorted to paying my ds - 25p per 15 mins of prep done - so far he's chalked up £20 to go towards a Lego set.
Good luck!

TheFlyingFauxPas Fri 18-Mar-16 14:32:34

Any pals he can work with? I found it worked well when ds had my friend's daughter round too. Also when he was doing practices I would sit and do it too. Then if he had problems we could discuss the ins and outs. Rushing through I'd count as a good sign as speed is a major issue. Emphasise if he has tine at end check check check check check!

cingolimama Fri 18-Mar-16 16:10:24

I think you may need to light a fire up his bum. As a previous poster suggested, get DS to sit a timed paper. If there aren't many for your chosen grammar school, then download one from an independent school. Then mark it (or get the tutor to do so). It will give him and you a good idea of how much work, and in what specific areas he needs to do.

PhoebeMcPeePee Fri 18-Mar-16 21:55:41

Thanks all and at just the right time his tutor has given him 1 of each of the test papers to do over Easter 'under exam conditions'. We had a good chat today and she too hopes this might either prove us wrong & show he is listening after all , or, be the wake-up call he needs.

We looked around the grammar schools a few months ago and that's partly what inspired him (& us) to go for the 11+in the first place. He was so enthusiastic & full of it but sadly that hasn't transferred into the work required. Believe it or not, his favourite was the super-selective (absolutely not the right school for him but I figured big ambitions couldn't hurthmm!) but explaining you've got to pass the bloody test before you worry about scoring high enough goes straight over his head.

Grrrrrr and mutual sympathy to other frustrated parents and thanks a fucking bunch to whoever suggested moving to a grammar school area was a good idea

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