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Will uninterested-in-education ex stop DC getting into competitive school of choice?

(7 Posts)
Homely1 Sun 24-Jan-16 20:50:58

I'm rather worried. I'm separated. I know my child is bright. DC is a toddler and doing well at her nursery. I'm worried that the more time my DC spends with father, the less likely it is that she gets into the school that I'm wishing for get to go to (and nursery recommend). Entry is competitive and based on assessment. DC father not interested in education, books, lots of chat with DC. I know I may sound pompous to some? How can I ensure that DC maintains s good chance?

Llareggub Sun 24-Jan-16 20:53:10

Just relax. Honestly.

PurpleDaisies Sun 24-Jan-16 20:59:44

It is really important for your child to have a good relationship with their father. That's much more important than whether he's prepping her properly to get into your choice of school or not.

You can dictate what she does when she's with you but as long as you've got no concerns about the care he's giving her, he should be able to spend the time she had with him as he pleases.

ReallyTired Sun 24-Jan-16 20:59:44


What is your concern? A child needs more than hot housing. How much contact does your child have with her father? You do realise she won't catch the "chav" from doing non academic activities. Unless your ex is outright abusive, a child will not be harmed academically. A naturally bright child will achieve even if they have non academic parents.

Marilynsbigsister Sun 24-Jan-16 21:21:29

So, what outcome could you possibly hope for a and what is your reasoning ? I'm guessing that you are caught up in the whole 'best school, leads to best secondary, leads to best university, leads to best career ? No other reason to do it except to brag to friends and family.... Bear in mind that many many many children make it to the top with parents who could care less and would rather they were happy and having fun above all else... My first two dcs have never been coached for anything, didn't have the money. No Kumon maths, no summer school, went to a good comp, but nowhere near the top 50. One at Oxbridge one at Durham. At the end of the day it's about who they are and what they want. You can pay for the best education in the world but if you don' instil in them a love of learning it's worth nothing. When they get to 12/13 you are literally out of the picture. Spend your time developing a good relationship, with you and their dad. Nothing else matters.

Lurkedforever1 Sun 24-Jan-16 21:21:42

I'm pretty confident my dds ability isn't a side effect of being nc with her father. Neither did I/ do I spend our time together with the prime focus on education. Anything we did, came about while playing and I answered her questions.

If you are that ott, chances are she needs the downtime with someone who does kid stuff.

And ditto everything really said

PrimeDirective Sun 24-Jan-16 21:27:34

Please let your child be a child and enjoy time with her dad doing nothing with a clear educational value. You'd be amazed at the benefits of non-educational stuff - including being totally bored!

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