Prep to State end of year 8(24 Posts)
DH has been quiet for weeks and it all came out yesterday, there's no way we can afford to ds2 to private senior school.
He sits his exam for that school at the end of the month!! (Ds1 is already at that school).
We live in an area with selective schools, so very doubtful that there will may spaces there, so he would end up going to the normal comp. not decrying it but ds2 has been st prep school since kindergarten. I can't stop crying, wish DH had told me were in this situation before as would have applied for year 9 before now!!
Has anyone managed to get their do into a decent school with this little notice? Ds2 is a social chap, who would fit in anywhere, just feel we've let him down.
I believe that around 93% of the population go to state schools. It isn't a tragedy. I understand that you're upset, but I think you need to stop crying and find a bit of perspective.
You've said that, socially, he'll fit in anywhere, so that's a huge positive. With the right support at home, he will also be able to fulfill his potential academically.
You haven't let him down at all.
<passes OP a grip>
Are you looking for a place for September? Have a look at your LA's in-year admissions policy (and any neighbouring LAs you might be interested in) - where I am, you can only apply for places half a term ahead of where you want them anyway, so you have plenty of time to look at schools and think about your choices. At 13 your son might be able to travel a little further.
Read the selective schools' in year admissions policies - you can probably go on a waiting list to compete for a place, but obviously it's completely down to chance whether a place becomes available, and then there will be other kids also going for it.
Is your older son going to stay at the private school? Is that going to cause any issues between them?
This must have been a real shock for you.
It absolutely depends where you are. How much demand there are for school places.
If you're in bucks I think you'll be fine. If in London more tricky.
But don't judge how 'decent' a school is by its league table results. They won't tell you how your child will do.
And don't judge by its ofsted grade either!
Oh crap! I know this doesn't help and isn't what you want to hear but you HAVE to get a handle on your family finances!
Clearly you don't have any idea what is coming in vs going out which is a ridiculous state of affairs. DH may be main (sole?) earner but you have a duty to yourself and your children to know the figures.
I don't mean to kick you when you're down but this sort of thing will keep happening and DH clearly can't be trusted to keep his head out of the sand.
Is there any way you can afford it at all? I"d be moving heaven and earth to make cut backs, up my hours at work, downsize to only one car etc etc.
Thank you, I work full time and my salary pays the current fees but the step up for senior fees is sizeable.
DH is very good with money, he thought that with all the cut backs we've already made it would be doable, but we already don't do days out etc etc.
I know this is a first world problem. We are in Herts which is always over subscribed. Looked at in year admissions and will be doing that. We can afford one set of fees and Ds1 will be doing his GCSEs in May. Ds2 is dyslexic but don't think he'd qualify for a statement.
We will get there
Can't your elder DS leave after GCSEs and go to a state school and then your younger son can go private? That seems the most fair.
I know pulling ds1 seems fairer, but genuinely don't think that he would cope so well with the move.
We're doing sonething similar. Sad but not catastrophic. Unless youre in a middle school area, year 7 is when you do the major transfer so apply in advance in oct of yr 6. The good news is that at this age, will be an "in year" application so this need not be done much in advance, of at all. If there's a place, there's a place. And people so move on even from highly desirable selective achools ao call them all and your council. Good luck.
Could you apply for a bursary/fee reduction for both dc?
There will be places in schools in Herts. The school my DC goes to is near Herts and has spaces.
Because you're making an in year application you'll be able to ring the schools and find out lots.
Some schools have 30 per class, some have 25. Some stream. Some don't. Some make languages compulsory for all. Some you can drop a language if you have dyslexia.
You may also be able to get into one of the bucks grammars. They're not all full.
Herts only has a few partially selective schools. It doesn't have any full grammars. So the knock on to the comps is pretty small.
Thanks wildstallion hadn't thought of going outside county. Think this week is going to be a "calling schools" week.
Is there a cheaper independent option you could consider? The school I work at has the same fees for years 9-11 and it does for years 5-8
We are looking at those too, today feel so much better than I did on Friday. He's still studying for his entrance exam which is on the 22nd, we will survive this together as a family
The boys schools in this area are all considerably more for years 7-11. As we've been at a prep school they tend to be cheaper for years 7&8.
We voluntarily moved DS1 from a boarding prep at the end of year 8 (he'd spent most of school life in independent ed up until then) to our local "outstanding high achieving academy" I was
gob smacked surprised with how well he coped with the move he had no problems making the change. Frankly I think the school is shit; the head is good box ticker/salesman with a very affluent MC conservative catchment area, but to his very significant processing problems any independent school that would have taken him I very much doubt would have been any better. At yr 12 he transferred to a well regarded local 6 th form college and he's now at well a good non RG uni and loving it and doing surprisingly well I very much doubt for him the outcome would have been any better if we'd paid.
Thanks Happygardening, if we can get him into the right school I know he will flourish. But then that's the same for any parent at any school. We have some amazing schools near us, as well as some "up and coming" ones x
If you would consider out-of-area, have you thought about applying for a boarding place at Christs Hospital? Places are means tested with up to 100% fee reduction for those who need it - you may find you are eligible for a Bursary even with your salary. It is late in the year to apply, but it might be worth a phone call? Otherwise, perhaps State now, then a Sixth Form place at Christs or somewhere similar later on?
This might be a first world problem but it doesn't mean it isn't distressing for you. Sympathies to you and your family. It is easy to say - but most people go to state schools - this isn't about thst, it is your concern for finding a school place, getting ds settled, dealing with being at a diff school to ds1 etc. I would fully explore all bursaries etc, speak to the head of your prep to see if they can help/ speak to senior school, call all the state schools possible etc. Any chance family could help/loan you thr shortfall for the time being? There is always the option of moving both boys to a state or cheaper private option.
I've just looked at the league tables for schools in Watford: www.education.gov.uk/cgi-bin/schools/performance/group.pl?qtype=GR&f=xn9reLpZXv&superview=sec&view=aat&set=2&sort=ks4_14.ptac5em&ord=desc&tab=150&no=998&pg=1
And none of the schools look bad. When you look at how the low / middle / high achievers do in their GCSEs all the schools look very reasonable. They all perform pretty much the same.
None of those schools look like some where you should be worried to send your DS to.
I think we are very very lucky with the schools in the area, although they all have different vibes.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.