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Boarding school for an 8 year old or awful inner city school?

(45 Posts)
tanzie Tue 11-May-04 21:24:00

Please discuss...

No alternative, such as local private school. It is all (ie boarding) or nothing (school that Oliver Letwin would rather beg than send his children to).

Jzee Tue 11-May-04 21:26:24

Personally I'd rather move than send my little one to boarding school.

Hulababy Tue 11-May-04 21:29:38

I agree withJzee. There is no way I could send DD to baording school, no matter how good it was.

tanzie Tue 11-May-04 21:31:52

I don't think moving is an option.

Janh Tue 11-May-04 21:32:04

Have you mentioned boarding school to your 8-yr-old, tanzie? Has she any opinions? (After all she *might* like it.)

Is this still abroad btw?

Janh Tue 11-May-04 21:32:45

There's one near York called St Ethelburga's or something where they can have a pony!

littlemissbossy Tue 11-May-04 21:36:19

Queen Ethelburga's JanH, ... wished i could afford to send my kids there ... but only as day pupils mind. Tanzie, do you really have no alternative but boarding school? How does your ds/dd feel about this option?

Lisa78 Tue 11-May-04 21:37:01

my Aunt was Matron there, its a really nice school and the girls were happy there

But then, thats not the school you are talking about is it Tanzie?

What does your DD want? Could you try the boarding school for a term?

tanzie Tue 11-May-04 21:37:43

She is not 8 yet. We are talking 3 years hence and backin Sarf Landan. I am dead against as I think it is much too young. Have not mentioned it to her - she is only just getting to grips with reception class! Also think she is not right for boarding school. She is quiet and shy, gets upset easily and does not make friends easily (and when she does she gets very possessive). I would have fewer qualms about DD2 who is feisty and takes no crap from anyone.

Pony Schmony!

Janh Tue 11-May-04 21:38:14

Friend of dd2's was *desperate* to go there - i think she thought the pony would be nicer to her than her mum

Janh Tue 11-May-04 21:39:13

So do you *have* to go back to Sarf Lundun then, tanzie?

tanzie Tue 11-May-04 21:43:26

Looks like we will. I am going to see if we can string it out a bit longer here, but really I know that will just be postponing the inevitable (but means we might be able to afford a few years of private day school in Sarf Landan.

A friend of mine went to QE's. When I had DD1 she told me that they would take boarders from 3 in exceptional circumstances - don't think she saw me as the maternal type.

fairyprincess Tue 11-May-04 21:46:33

Hello Tanzie,

This is quite a dilemma for you and family. How would your little one react to boarding? how would you and rest of family feel? Some schools offer week boarding with weekends at home - useful if you work difficult hours in the week.

Is the local state school absolutely unworkable. I don't know it - so it is easy for me to say - but would it be a possibility for you to see how your little one got on there - just for a few weeks/months? Possibilly talk with the Parents group to see what others think about school and to see if there is scope to change things.

Could home education be a possibility? - some areas have support groups for this or on the www

Wishing you all the best -

LadyMuck Tue 11-May-04 21:59:23

Sarf Landan is a fairly large area with a number of different schools - are you going back to a specific house? Even then, you may find that you don't land up with the local school , as it will depend on where there are places (and bear in mind that spaces do arise in the "better" schools). Guess you must have somewhere specific in mind if you know that there is no local private school, though I'm struggling to think of the area - there seems to be private schools around every corner...

I wouldn't rule out boarding in general, but 8 might be young, and it does depend on the nature of the child - not sure that yours sounds the right sort, but a lot happens in 3 years!

Horrible decision to face, but again 3 years is quite a while really - who knows what might happen?

serenequeen Tue 11-May-04 22:05:20

er, there are a number of well regarded private day schools in s. london. why isn't one of them an option?

tanzie Tue 11-May-04 22:06:37

Thanks for your help (knew I could rely on some sense from Mumsnet). Weekly boarding may be an option. Lady Muck - Lambeth North area - have had a look at the Ofsted reports. Schools in Westminster are vastly better but I have heard they are difficult/impossible to get in to.

I know I am worrying unnecessarily soon, but!

tanzie Tue 11-May-04 22:07:39

Serene Queen - can't afford day private school. Someone else might pick up the tab for boarding.

soyabean Tue 11-May-04 22:08:47

S London has so many schools; you wouldnt necessarily have to send her to the nearest. And plenty of them are good or better. Personally I couldnt conceive of sending a child of any age to boarding school unless they had a special need that could be catered for best there. But specially not at age 8.
have you been away from London for a long time? Honestly I cant see that things can be as bad as you fear. If she is only 5 now (is that what you meant?) the schools may have changed massively by the time you return.
I live in SLondon and my eldest has just moved to sec schl from local primary, the others are still there and for all its problems we love it and they have all done very well.

willow2 Tue 11-May-04 22:09:37

I'm sorry if this sounds curt, but have to say no way to boarding school. Not at 8. She will only be a baby then.I t's just too young to send your kids away. You will have few memories of them growing up - and they will have very, very few of you.

I went off to one at 13 - my brother and sister - who attended a different one - were much younger, I think 11? None of us particularly enjoyed our time away - but home life was a tad unsettled to say the least, so possibly the better of two crap options.

Can't quite understand your situation though - if you can afford boarding school surely you can afford a private day school? Or am I just being dim?

miggy Tue 11-May-04 22:10:12

Im sort of tossing this up a bit because the school my ds1 likes, and would probably be great for him, is about an hours drive and only feasible as boarding. He is 10 now and would be 12 ish then. Even at 12 though, he will still seem a baby and I dont know if I can do it. Having said that, I went to boarding school at 13 and loved it (had a pony there too so that was the main attraction really!). His current school does weekly boarding from age 8, and most of the year 8 pupils board at least a few nights a week, even living 10mins away, because they love it and beg their parents to do so. Different again though to being away for weeks. My school boarded from 6 and even at 13, I used to look at them and feel sad for them. Personally, having rambled on, would say 8 too young, couldnt you wait till 12, extra lessons etc?

tanzie Tue 11-May-04 22:11:19

Willow - we wouldn't be paying for boarding, but would have to stump up for private day education.

tanzie Tue 11-May-04 22:12:56

Oh, and Willow, if you read my earlier threads, you will also see thatI am dead against it. I think 12-13 at the earliest, if at all...

fairyprincess Tue 11-May-04 22:13:21

If paying for boarding couldn't they pay for private day school - much cheaper in any case?

CountessDracula Tue 11-May-04 22:13:34

tanzie am I right in thinking that you have someone who will fund boarding school but not day school? That sounds crazy. There really are loads of private day schools in S. London.

I would be very interested to hear why you can get funding for boarding and not day.

tanzie Tue 11-May-04 22:17:30

They will pay for boarding as the children can stay there if we have to go overseas again, so their education is not disrupted. This argument would not work for day schools - unless you know of any which do both? That might work.

Best option: to stay here permanently, send them to nice village school so they end up bi or trilingual.

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