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What school to choose for Monday!

(6 Posts)
wallywobbles Fri 28-Aug-15 18:12:47

Ok, so where to start. I’m afraid this is long. I'm turning in circles here.


We are in France. DP & I are planning to live together. We thought we’d be living together by this September, at his house, but his divorce hasn’t been finalised and his exW has been dragging her feet (for 3 years) in regards to him buying her out of the house he inherited, and he still lives in. So now we hope to be there for next September.

The house is next to his elderly mother, one brother’s house and the other brother’s farm, so his exw doesn’t want to live there. DP has his DCs (who are at his local primary school in Town B) every other week, and he lives with us the other week.

I have 100% with my DDs. They no longer see their Dad because of abuse, but he still has parental responsibility. There is no longer any court order, the last one involved bimonthly visits for 4 months in a visitors centre and has run out. My lawyer is keen to avoid going back to court, because she thinks the judge may reinstate visitations, which nobody, above all the kids, think is a good plan. If we end up in court it could mean that he can stop us moving for the next 6 years.

Partly in anticipation of the future I moved my company to Town C where DP works, which is approx. half way between our two houses – about an hours drive from my house to his work and 45 minutes from his house. My hours are fairly irregular, but we can share the driving 3 days a week. Town C is much bigger, lots happening, with a fantastic school (School X).

Come September we will have an au pair who will also be going to school in Town C for 10 hours a week too. No idea about her time table yet.

September 2016 DPs 2 DC will hopefully be going to School X, so at that point all 4 DC should be at the same school in town C, so we are only talking about this year.

My exH, finally gave grudging permission for DDs to change schools on Thursday morning which has left me with my head spinning. He always does this absolutely last minute, which is why I had left our school options open.

The issue is which school for this year?

My eldest DD starts at big school this coming week. She is down for 2 schools, the big school (School Y) of the primary where she is currently, in my local town (Town A – 15 minutes in the wrong direction for Town C). This is a perfectly good school. She’s happy and has friends (and an enemy). My youngest DD is still at the primary school (2nd last year). We requested a certain teacher for DD2 who was amazing with DD1, and she will be in her class, which is a strong point in favour of not changing. However, if they catch the bus to school it leaves at 7am. If we drive them to school they will have to leave home at 7.45.

They are also down for the absolutely amazing bilingual School X in town C. DD1 would be one new kid amongst loads if we change this year, DD2 is very self assured and makes friends easily so I’m less worried about her. DD1 is very talkative and out going, but incredibly easily crushed and has suffered from a bit of bullying.

Both kids would prefer to stay in their current school/friends this year but knew that they might have to change at the last minute, because it’s their Dads MO. They both really like School X too. If they go to School X in Town C we will all need to leave at 7am. We have a comfortable car so they can sleep, tablet, revise etc in the car. Clearly this is the part of the plan that is not so ideal.

My concern is that if we don’t change schools now we might lose the opportunity if DCs Dad decides to go to court. We’ve been to court 5 times in 7 years, so it’s a real possibility.

So what should I do? What would you do? Apologies for the length.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g Fri 28-Aug-15 18:17:46

School X this year.

Gruach Fri 28-Aug-15 18:32:18

Move to School X now.

It makes everything simpler.

wallywobbles Fri 28-Aug-15 20:15:53

Wow thanks. I wasn't expecting a reply it was such an enormous post.

JenniferYellowHat1980 Fri 28-Aug-15 20:48:55

Yes, school X. Could be the best thing that ever happened to your DD1 in terms of her confidence.

brytte Sat 29-Aug-15 08:03:35

I think school X seems the obvious choice. It's a year's extra hassle but for peace of min and gets your girls settled without a future school move hanging over them for a year. The year of early mornings will pass quickly and sounds bearable.

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