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Attendance of a child with diagnosed health conditions not good enough.

(184 Posts)
EducationalWelfareMakeMeCry Mon 22-Jun-15 22:30:12

I am not handling this well.

This is not the first time this bunch have done this.

I took my child out of school for a spell to homeschool, as we couldn't cope with school and being hounded over attendance.

My child went back for year ten, and is ending that year now.

The lowest attendance level in the past was about 48%.

The more the pressurisation the worse attendance gets as it depresses my child. Their bullying and pressure is why it got so low in the past.

Left alone the attendance has been the best ever this year high 80's. I got a letter a few weeks ago and another today. They are on attack mode again.

They are abusing laws put in for truants to bully ill children so they can box tick. I am fuming. I told them to take me to court. The school seem to want nothing to do with it and it's all the LA now. School have been nice to my child since I told them we would be inviting the press to court if they take me.

My child has the same condition as a girl who appears in the Daily Mail health section today. She also has the same condition as the girl who has produced the Deliciously Ella cookbooks.

My child struggles to attend is in bed as soon as she gets home. Has her feet raised as they are so a hey this evening. She is exhausted and has no life outside trying to pass her GCSE exams and these shit heads are saying it's not good enough.

I am not paying g their fines and if she wants a day off she will. They are going to set targets for attendance without me. That's best if I go to the meeting I will go volcanic at them. What happens if I go to court?

These people and medical people have given me PTSD from all the years of hell they put us through. I can't go near them. I am fine intreacting with other people in society, I avoid these people who hurt us so I don't get upset/cry or get angry.

Wolfiefan Mon 22-Jun-15 22:37:32

This bunch
Attack mode


Borka Mon 22-Jun-15 22:45:14

Wolfiefan do you think that LAs never behave like that? You're wrong.

ButEmilylovedhim Mon 22-Jun-15 22:46:07

Not kind pp.

I'm really sorry for the situation you and your dd are in. My dc has had some time off, a number of weeks for ill health, backed up by doctors and already I am getting arsey phonecalls from the school. I can only imagine it over a number of years. You poor things. Are in a positon to homeschool again and your dd take the exams as a private candidate when she is ready? flowers for you both. I hate the pressure on them to get these exams.

ButEmilylovedhim Mon 22-Jun-15 22:46:55

The not kind was to wolfiefan.

Wolfiefan Mon 22-Jun-15 22:48:09

I think you sound very angry and not able to discuss this in a reasonable way.
Schools should work with students who have diagnosed health issues BUT are under the most enormous pressure to get all students to attend 100% (or as near as) and to achieve the very best grades they can.

Wolfiefan Mon 22-Jun-15 22:49:51

It's not unkind to expect someone not to call others shit heads or accuse them of bullying in a public forum.

EducationalWelfareMakeMeCry Mon 22-Jun-15 22:52:25

She has to do another year in a state school. sad

I think it's a case of the LA taking a stand and I am not going to let these people hurt us in the same way again. If it means court this time, so be it.

I have no idea of the process?

I will not have them bully us in the same way they did before.

EducationalWelfareMakeMeCry Mon 22-Jun-15 22:53:54

Listen to me as I will say this only once, I am not going to interact with you a wolf. You are wasting your time and you have been told they have given me PTSD.

Wolfiefan Mon 22-Jun-15 22:54:48

Ok. Reasonable then. Totally reasonable. Good luck in court.

TheRealMaryMillington Mon 22-Jun-15 22:57:34

Schools are under ridiculous pressure, I agree, but that pressure is nothing compared to having a child with a long term illness

I honestly think your best course of action is to take positive control of this situation.

Get your dd's health issues properly documented by GP/consultant if you do not have it already. Keep your own diary re how she is, any patterns etc.

Go to the school, or to the LA, with this evidence and to calmly and politely explain the problem. Take a friend for support and brief them to stop the meeting if you are getting too upset and angry. Telling them to take you to court will not help you.

To be fair to the school they probably only send out standard letters, and have to adhere to LA procedure once attendance dips. It's in your best interests to have the Welfare Officer or whoever get to understand the problem rather than chalk you up as a negligent parent. I agree the tactics leave a lot to be desired.

CamelHump Mon 22-Jun-15 22:57:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ButEmilylovedhim Mon 22-Jun-15 23:01:48

Yes wolfiefan, I appreciate that but why is that more important than the physical and mental health of the child?

We as parents would love nothing more than to have our children in full time school, achieving great grades and generally fulfilling their potential, having a social life and having fun. But if the child is not well enough to attend, then they are not well enough to attend. Pushing us parents doesn't miraculously cure our dcs or make their attendance any better because they are ill. We are not letting them stay off just because they fancy it.

I am so worried about my dcs education and qualifications and what we will do if they are not fit to take them. It's a nightmare. Why is their so little understanding from the schools? By all means, chase up the parents who don't give a shit about their children going to school but that is not us. Why can't the schools see the difference and act accordingly?

EducationalWelfareMakeMeCry Mon 22-Jun-15 23:02:42

I think the school said they want nothing to do with it as the first meeting was at school the second at the LA.

I can't speak to these people I have PTSD and can't go near them after all they did.

The medical conditions are for life and incurable no treatment recommended for the POTS. Diagnosed by top experts.

CamelHump Mon 22-Jun-15 23:05:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wolfiefan Mon 22-Jun-15 23:07:22

Emily it is really difficult for schools. I have seen situations where students are frequently away for no good reason and nothing is done.
There should be a way of allowing parents to get the school to authorise legitimate absence. (I don't know. A kind of diary where parents just fill in a brief reason why their child was off and school authorise it?) I also think more should be done to help students who are it well enough for school but are well enough to do some work. (Why should they have to make do without tuition?)

Wolfiefan Mon 22-Jun-15 23:08:17

Oh and school IS NOT more important than the physical and mental wellbeing of any child. Not at all.

EducationalWelfareMakeMeCry Mon 22-Jun-15 23:09:08

They wanted me to go to two meetings. One in July where if I don't show up they will set targets in my absence. The first meeting was organised at school to which I responded take me to court. The school have been nice to my child since. I got so upset I said how can they tell her her attendance isn't good enough she nearly kills herself to attend. I believe this is coming from the LA. Some Knobber who doesn't give a shit about my child only their targets.

TheRealMaryMillington Mon 22-Jun-15 23:11:42

LA unlikely to take you to court for attendance in high 80s unless they believe that you are deliberately keeping her off for no reason or if you fail to engage with them.

So you have to show the LA that the reason for her absences is legitimate, and that you share their concern for her successful education. Get a friend or colleague to act as your advocate if you truly can't do it.

It's all very well the school saying they want nothing to do with them but they need to offer you and her support so I would try to find someone sympathetic, pastoral, whatever. This issue isn't going away so I think you need to be proactive with the school too.

CamelHump Mon 22-Jun-15 23:12:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRealMaryMillington Mon 22-Jun-15 23:13:22

PS I think you are right in your analysis about some knobber who only cares about targets. But you are not going to divert them from that and get them to behave reasonably if you do not engage.

EducationalWelfareMakeMeCry Mon 22-Jun-15 23:18:22

It's pointless going near anyone medical, they are clueless. Have you seen what they did to that child in the mail article. I worked out a long time ago to stay away, that child's parents still think she can be made better, they mutilated her and made her worse. I am upset about that too, today.

Jux Mon 22-Jun-15 23:19:22

Do they have all the medical documentation?

I'm so sorry your child is so ill thanks

Gdydgkyk Mon 22-Jun-15 23:20:08

Can you make a formal complaint? Also let your healthcare specialists know you are being hounded so that they can write a letter directly to the LEA and school

EducationalWelfareMakeMeCry Mon 22-Jun-15 23:21:00

I will never get fair treatment from those Knobbers so I am not going to engage anymore. I engaged before and they nearly destroyed us.

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