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Why do parents do this?!

(23 Posts)
Wotsup Thu 11-Jun-15 20:27:40

WHY, when you are giving 150% care to their kids whilst at school do they automatically take their kids version of events and rush off an accusatory email for you to face first thing in the morning! Why not say to the kid (as I do with mine) "OK I've heard your version, As I'm not happy with what you have told me I need to speak to ... to clarify some points."


I feel better now, thanks. X smile

Wotsup Thu 11-Jun-15 20:28:44

By the way...I don't teach maths. wink

soapboxqueen Thu 11-Jun-15 20:52:47

Do you want an honest answer or do you just want to rant? (either is perfectly acceptable)

Wotsup Thu 11-Jun-15 20:57:23

Honest answers please. smile

Sparklingbrook Thu 11-Jun-15 21:03:01

It sometimes depends on what previous events have occurred I guess. Where the school have got things wrong in the past?

ragged Thu 11-Jun-15 21:05:13

because people have small brains?
Because you can fight your corner, they see selves as only ones fighting their DC's corner.

soapboxqueen Thu 11-Jun-15 21:21:01

Fear and generalised anger

Fear that there child is being neglected or hurt and that if they don't do something about it the world will crash down on their child's head.

Fear that their child will become one of those cases you see in the papers where nobody listened.

Fear that if they don't go in all guns blazing they will be fobbed off and will have failed their child.

Anger due to everyday stresses which mean that one more stress (a school issue) is disproportionately massive.

Coupled with the fact that it's OK to go in full tilt because it's 'your child' and no one can tell you you're wrong. I think some people see it as carte blanch.

Everyone remembers the time when they were right to go in hell for leather. Nobody remembers the other 472 times when they were wrong, misinformed or ill judged.

TheTroubleWithAngels Thu 11-Jun-15 21:40:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClearEyesFullHearts Thu 11-Jun-15 21:47:14

WHY, when you are giving 150% care to their kids whilst at school do they automatically take their kids version of events

Ooh! Do you prefer your chips with vinegar, ketchup, or mayonnaise? wink

soapboxqueen Thu 11-Jun-15 21:49:19

When I get accused of stupid stuff I'm so tempted to say,

"Mwa ha ha.... You have uncovered my secret and dastardly plan.... "

(Flounces off with long black cape and maybe a bit of ground fog)

OnionsAndApples Thu 11-Jun-15 22:05:34

Perhaps, that child is unable to lie and it is the last thing in a string of incompetence and cover ups by the school? (Have you read the SEN board lately?)

That's one just possible reason.

Other possible reasons are as listed above by pp.

cake and wine

RandomMess Thu 11-Jun-15 22:15:05

Sometimes the reasons that have already been given

Sometimes its because some parents just have no common sense and I can't understand their child is giving the information from their childish, selfish point of view wink

Curioushorse Thu 11-Jun-15 22:31:08

Gosh, yes. Sometimes it's actually quite funny. You get a shocked email accusing you of having done something crazy and outrageous....and you think, well, why haven't the parents paused and thought, 'hmmmm. That sounds crazy and outrageous. It can't possibly be true!'

NotInGuatemalaNowDrRopata Thu 11-Jun-15 22:46:12

Try a different perspective: the majority of parents are hearing wild and daft stories about stuff going on at school and are intelligent enough to figure out their child is being a bit of a drama queen, but sometimes the odd one slips through!

Greenrememberedhills Thu 11-Jun-15 22:59:16

When DS3 was small he told me his teacher put him on the moon. Then said, "but please don't ask her about it"!

craftysewer Thu 11-Jun-15 23:08:17

Years ago when I was a police officer I very quickly realised that (just about) every parent you dealt with was adamant 'it wasn't my child'. Over the last 30 years it seems children are now automatically believed, rather than rational consideration being given and questions asked.

BackforGood Thu 11-Jun-15 23:13:54

Good point NotinGuatemala.
I like that perspective.

scrappydappydoo Thu 11-Jun-15 23:24:16

Where are parents getting your email address from? Our school is like fort Knox if you want to communicate with a teacher.
But to answer your question because they aren't there to see all the things you do do for their child and all they hear from their child is the things you don't do.

noblegiraffe Thu 11-Jun-15 23:30:15

I think teachers get a lot of bad press in the media so if a parent hears that a teacher has been shit they are more likely to believe it because they have a low opinion of teachers. Also they don't want to believe that their child is lying to them.

MidniteScribbler Fri 12-Jun-15 06:48:11

Everyone went to school, therefore everyone is an expert on the education system and knows exactly how it should be run.

And because there is still the lingering attitude of 'I pay the teacher's wages'. Usually said by someone on minimum wage, who is paying very low tax rate (if at all) themselves and doesn't quite understand basic economics and assumes therefore that they are your boss and can demand whatever they like from you.

rabbitstew Fri 12-Jun-15 09:03:23

Well, I suspect that sometimes it's because the parent concerned had a miserable time at school, themselves, so is naturally more inclined to believe their child's tales of misery and unfairness.

mummytime Fri 12-Jun-15 10:36:25

I'm glad you don't teach Maths, and I hope not Science either 150% indeed.

Not all parents believe their children unquestioningly; but with your own child it is hard to judge dispassionately. If they are unhappy, you tend to be unhappy. Also professionals do tend to defend themselves and shift blame. You do not know what experience those parents have had of unfair treatment of other children or themselves have experienced, which is now affecting their behaviour.

Wotsup Fri 12-Jun-15 21:24:58

Thanks for ALL your answers whether I agree with them or not they've made me think. I can empathise it's difficult having a child with issues but when the person who has moved the kid on so far and spent two years going that extra mile and fighting the kids corner gets stitched up by that very kid you gotta be peeved eh?

Mummytime...there was a joke regarding the 150%. ..I don't teach English either before you pick me up on 'gunna' wink X

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