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7+ assessment day worries/dilemma

(8 Posts)
IWantDogger Thu 15-Jan-15 17:41:32

In a couple of weeks there is an assessment morning for September entry into year 3 at a local independent school. They've not given much detail but I think it's going to be very relaxed, worksheets, reading to an adult, group games etc.

The problem is that dd (6) is not at all keen. She is a confident child once she is settled somewhere but is (not unreasonably!) very unsure of new situations when she doesn't know what to expect or won't know anyone. She's saying she won't go and doesn't want me to leave her there.

We've pretty much decided against sending her to the school anyway, as we think going to give the local state junior school a go for various reasons, but we wanted her to still do the test to keep our options open as long as possible as we're not 100% sure. Plus we thought if she isn't happy at the state school we'd at least know if the private one is an option and it might be easier to transfer her (if they have a place) if she already did the test. But I don't want to put her through a traumatic experience just for the sake of it!! Do you think we should;
- not bother with the assessment and pull out because she's not keen
- phone them, say we're anticipating tears, ask if I can stay for a bit (wondering if this is not the done thing?)
- just take her, offering a treat after if necessary, see how it goes.

And do you think her lack of willingness to stay/potential tearfulness will be unusual and affect her chances of a place?

IWantDogger Fri 16-Jan-15 09:01:57

Bump!

whereismagic Fri 16-Jan-15 09:16:52

What about putting a positive spin on it? I don't know what motivates her but you can use it. It's not just this assessment but being able to make yourself comfortable in new situations can only help her.

Ladymuck Fri 16-Jan-15 13:37:56

I would be loathe to get her assessed if she wasn't going to perform at her best unless you are secretly hoping for a rejection in order to make your decision easier. A child not settling in an assessment at that age is a bit of a red flag. It would be better to keep your powder dry until the point that you were sure that you wanted to move her.

IWantDogger Fri 16-Jan-15 17:21:10

That's an interesting take on it - I would have thought it wouldn't be that uncommon for 6 year olds to be unsure initially and would hope they wouldn't let it count against them. If it does it may not be the right school for dd. They aren't super selective I dot think, at this stage there's not ridiculous competition for places.

Artistic Fri 16-Jan-15 17:53:15

Hi OP, my DD did a few 7+ assessments last year. She's already in an indie prep since reception and did not want to move at all. We were only trying for the sake of potential options as we're were also house hunting at the time. We did a lot of prep, so it was no secret to DD that she would have to go. The way I convinced her was that she had been 'chosen' to give these tests from her present school & that her school would be disappointed if she didn't go & do her best. Also I promised her we wouldn't move just coz she got in, but she should look at the new schools with an open mind & tell us her real thoughts. In the end she was quite excited to take the challenge & also to skip a day at school to go check out new schools/give exams. She got through all of them except our first choice (which was super selective & she was wait listed quite high but unfortunately didn't get in).

Ultimately she was very proud of he results & it boosted her confidence immensely. She still didn't want to go to the new schools (3 options) & we didn't force her as these schools were comparable to her current one anyways (but some had a secondary division which was the reason we even tried!).

So try making it an 'experience' your DD will look forward to & remember - with the confidence that nothing will change if she does not want it to.

Good luck!

Are you in SW London?

IWantDogger Fri 16-Jan-15 18:00:09

Thankyou, yes I think we're going to go ahead with it as I think it's a good experience for her. I had some email contact with the school today who were reassuring and also told me a bit more about it to pass on to dd which has made her feel better. It's probably a lot to do with the fact that we didn't prepare her for it much as it wasn't at the forefront of my mind having pretty much decided against the school at this point.
We're in Hampshire.

Artistic Sat 17-Jan-15 11:40:04

For the tests ask your DD to make sure she attempts all the questions she knows well. At this age they sometimes get stuck on something they don't know & don't move ahead worrying about leaving something incomplete...

Good luck. I hope she enjoys her test day.

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