I feel so awful

[Creole]

I lost it big time.

I was helping my 5 year old ds (he's going to yr1 next term) with his writing and I ended up shouting at him. It is soo frustrating as he is very able (according to his teacher), but he takes so long to write a single word. His teacher has said that we should try and do a little bit of writing with him in the holidays as this is his area of weakness, but my problem is I'm very impatience and I'm more likely to do more harm than good. So I'm going to leave well alone.
However, I feel so bad shouting at the poor mite. I just don't want him to fall behind.

Oh silly me!

[TooTicky]

My ds1 is a very slow writer because he's such a perfectionist. It's painful to watch sometimes, but it always looks lovely.

[thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat]

I sympathise - it can be frustrating - especially if you don;t think they are doing as well as they can. How about doing writing for particular things - getting him to write a shopping list, card to gps, captions for pictures. And try not to stand over him. On the one hand it is good to be attentive - but on the other hand if it frustrates you, might be better all ruond to get him to sit down and do some while you're busy making tea. then you can look at together after tea. our library sells some really good A4 booklets with writing practice, puzzles and sums in - dds adore them - have no idea they're doing work. could you look for something like this?

[Creole]

I have tried everything. If I don't sit with him, he won't write - he just does not like writing and it has been like this since nursery. In his report, his teacher said, writing is the only area that he neads encouraging.
We do write birthday cards and such like, but it's still a struggle.
I am going to leave it until he's about 6/7 and if it's still a problem I will have to get some help or a writing club.

[Blu]

5 and about to go into yr 1 is too early to put pressure on either yourself or him, imo. I agree - sit back, let him get going when he has more confidence / motivation.

When you say write a single word, what can he write? Can he write his name? They do write painfully slowly at this age.

I wouldn't squash the enthuiasm out of him before he has even dicovered it!

ds is just 5, has been in reception for two terms. He is v slow, and can write about 5 words without help - and isn't mad keen to try much more. He has spurts on interest when he wants to write something - usually an ambitiously long missive to my Mum, or something.

[amateurmum]

my ds is also 5 and going into y1. We have a holiday diary from school and I am reduced to bribing him to write in it. Not the kind of spontaneous enthusiasm I would hope for but at least he is practising. Part of me agrees with you, Blu, that we should not pressure him at this age but I am concerned that all the other children will be returning in September with perfect diaries and he will be left out.

[possumhead]

Hi Creole,

I am a primary school teacher myself and i really think that if writing causes problems and stress when you practise at home, then it is really not worth it. At this age it is all about so much more, socialising, sharing and learning to enjoy school .
I would leave it and enjoy the summer hols together. He has many more years to learn to enjoy writing. It's not worth the stress for either of you.

[possumhead]

amateurmum... can you get him to draw pictures and then use the computer to put little sentences together and stick in together? Makes it a little more interesting for him.

[Creole]

With encouragement, he can write anything including his name. Writing numbers is not his problem it's mainly words and sentences.
But yes I am going to leave it and concentrate on his reading which we both enjoy and he's miles ahead.

I guess this is the reason I never went into teaching I haven't got the patience. I so do admire teachers.

[MarscusGarvey]

Just a quick caution about too much pressure on making them write.

DS1 has always been a very clever boy. Taught himself to read at 3 etc. His reception teacher was not happy that he was able to do pretty much everything that she had to teach. She complained he didn't understand the concept of Biff and Chip (hell me either!) and that his writing was awful. He was only 5! She went on and on at him and consequently his handwriting was awful. It took until a very loving teacher in Y3 for him to begin to write legibly and it was Y5 before his writing was lovely. It's still not his best thing, but it can be read and understood.

Please please please..... let them be. They are tiny. Not all the children will have perfect writing and the closest ones to perfect 9 times out of 10 are girls. The writing will come. Read a book whilst he writes his name in a card. Don't worry which way round the letters are, compliment him on the ones that he got right and tell him how lovely his writing is.

It will come. It always does... just like reading.

[threebob]

Could you do some alternative writing with him, like with chalk on a pavement or writing words in the air whilst lying looking up at the sky.

[amateurmum]

possumhead - that sounds like a good idea - he would certainly be motivated by anything involving the computer. However, in the front of his holiday diary there is a lengthy note from his teacher to stress that this homework (omg homework at 5) is to enable children to improve their writing skills. I am a teacher myself (older children though) and should know better than to make writing into a chore at this age but also know what discussions happen in staffrooms about parents who won't help/aren't bothered. Actually, as I write this I wonder if I'm more worried about what the school think of me ... perhaps I'll just back off .. I do sympathise with you, Creole.

[possumhead]

you are so right in what you say. It is so sad though to make the little ones do homework!

[Blu]

AmateurMum - I bet loads of holiday diaries will be hastily scribbled in the day before term starts, with mafia-scale bribery and corruption going into their production!

[Creole]

Everyone's been saying that "it will come", I can't wait for that day.

But as parents you don't wnat them to lag behind.

Anyway, the teachers will have to take over.