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For those who did, do you think going to an all girls school was a good thing for you...?

(255 Posts)
BraveMerida Mon 09-Dec-13 04:19:24

...or did it scar you for life ? Why?!

And would/did/do you send your dd to one?

just interested. brew

NoArmaniNoPunani Mon 09-Dec-13 04:22:45

Yeah I think it was good for me and if I have a DD in future I'd like to send her to one.

MrsShrek3 Mon 09-Dec-13 04:26:08

It was good back in the eighties.... but that said, all my dc are attending co-ed. The plus points were obv no distraction from boys (stereotypical) immature behaviour, but then equally if you were a tomboy like me the whole notion of having bitchy girls everywhere was a right pain. I spent all my time on the sports field instead, captain of every team summer and winter.
It was very st trinians/ mallory towers and just wouldn't work these days.
why do you ask?

BraveMerida Mon 09-Dec-13 04:31:12

Because I'm deliberating over mixed vs single sex for dd.

I went to a mixed grammar for 2 years than an all girls school myself, so was interested in other perspectives.

Reiltin Mon 09-Dec-13 04:32:44

Was grand at the time but I had no socialisation with boys - I wouldn't say it scarred me but it def didn't do me any favours. I wouldn't send my kids to a single-sex school.

nannynome Mon 09-Dec-13 04:36:10

I think it depends on the child. My younger sister thrived in an all girls school that was very academic and competitive. She was popular and a straight A student. I, on the other hand, was a tomboy who learned practically and got on better with boys so had a fairly miserable time of it.

One school, two totally different outcomes due to totally different children. She went on to get a first at uni and has a successful job, I didn't even finish A levels due to the upset but now have a successful job having done it all through practical learning and my own initiative.

I am about to have my first DC and would consider it but only if I thought the personality of the child would thrive in that particular school. Academic vs practical, outgoing vs introvert, laid back vs competitive. Hope this helps smile

seventiesgirl Mon 09-Dec-13 04:51:48

I went to an all girls and it didn't scar me. Still in touch with around eight girls our friendships were that strong. It was a less competitive environment without boys - socially not educationally which I was comfy with. (I could compare, as I also spent time at a mixed school)

littleomar Mon 09-Dec-13 05:27:29

No, but then my school was crap - bitchy and academically weak. i did well but that was because my parents pushed/supported me.

singarainbow Mon 09-Dec-13 05:35:53

I think going to an all girls school was the best thing for me, as a "troubled" teen, it took away the usual "boy" troubles. I thought my school was good, and would dearly love my DD's to go to an all girls school. I don't think it was damaging in anyway. It does, of course depend on the school .

Morgause Mon 09-Dec-13 05:52:01

No. I hated every minute of it. Bitchiness reaches a new level at an all girls school.

Chottie Mon 09-Dec-13 05:55:12

I went to an all girls school too. The majority of the teachers were women too, so I got used to seeing women in positions of authority from an early age.

DoctorDonnaNoble Mon 09-Dec-13 06:32:57

Academically it was the best thing for me, mentally not so good. My self esteem issues and history of depression and self-harm go back to my time at a selective girls' school. I would check the pastoral care system carefully before sending a daughter single sex.

Yika Mon 09-Dec-13 06:37:55

I enjoyed my all girls school. I think it was good that we didn't have to compete with boys particularly in subjects where boys traditionally do better. We were encouraged to aim high and feel we could do anything. The boys' school was next door so we did socialise as we got older but I think it did make me feel a bit intimidated of them. I didn't find it bitchy but perhaps I was lucky with my year group and even more with my group of friends (still friends after 30 years).

Lifeisaboxofchocs Mon 09-Dec-13 06:48:33

I went single sex to 16, and then mixed for sixth form.

I loved my school years. Socially, I adored both the girls school and the mixed, and still in touch with a few from both (my two very closest friends still being from sixth form days, and that is 17ears ago).

Academically however is a totally different story. In the girls school I excelled. In the mixed school l I got average at best because I was so bloody distracted by the boys!

nowahousewife Mon 09-Dec-13 06:49:43

I went to an all girls school but that was a long long time ago in a place far far away......

Both our DC's have been at single sex schools since they were little but the schools were not chosen due to them being single sex but rather that they were the best schools for the individual child's nature. If we had found mixed schools that were more suited to them then that's where they would have gone.

If you are in a position to make choices they it's important to look at each child's personality and try took match them to the school you think will work best for them.

Good luck.

ILoveAFullFridge Mon 09-Dec-13 06:57:01

I feel scarred for life by my girls' school experience. I was an extremely bright child who passed all the entrance exams with ease (the schools asked why I had not been put forward for sch

octopusinasantasack Mon 09-Dec-13 06:58:17

No, absolutely not. I left at 11 and went to a co-ed school and had no experience of boys as peers right at the time when it was important that I did. I had no idea how to relate to them at all, something which I think was a factor in never being comfortable with them at the time and ending up in a bad marriage.

17leftfeet Mon 09-Dec-13 07:02:46

I hated being at an all girls school and made my a level choices based around a subject not taught at the school so my parents would agree to me leaving

It was incredibly bitchy, ultra competitive and very focused on looks and possessions despite what the school would have you believe

SlicedLemon Mon 09-Dec-13 07:04:26

Loved it. There was a bond between us girls. I had the absolute time og my life. Discipline was firm and we worked our socks off.
We had socials wig a local boys school but I had lots of mates out of school too through other clubs etc and amongst those were boys so i never had aby of these socialisation issues some people talk about.
Tbh I only know of one girl who went a bit "boy mad" once she moved onto college and I wonder if that's how she would have been anyway if she had gone to a co ed high school.
When we moved I attended a co ed for 18 months and the bitchiness was hugely magnified more so than my girls school ever was. Girls were more boy obsessedand spent their days makingteach others lives a misery and acting more and more outrageous to be centre of attention amongst boys. I had a good time there too but all get stuff that so say get in gs was more apparent a in my so called very good co ed.
I moved in from there to anither gs and the pressure not to conform and behave in a certain way was gone in an instant.
I am lucky though I had a hobby out of school that meant I slways mixed with boys so there was never any mystery etc.
My education was better at both gs but whether that is just coincidence or whether its because we were taught differently I don't know. Discipline was firmer at both gs.

My dds. I chose schools based on them and what suited them. I have one at a gs and one in co ed. Both thriving happy etc. I would say gs dd which is my eldest has a wider spectrum of hobbies and interests as opposed. There is a lot less drama at her school as in Fallings outs and shocking things I get to hear about. Both are in the right place for them though and Dd 2 would probably not dovas well at the gs if I mived her. dd1 has lots of noy mates too through the gs socials and a few out of school.


MumpiresRedCard Mon 09-Dec-13 07:04:54

I am faci g this decision too. Choices a nearby girls school or a further away mixed school.

I went to a muxed sxhool myself and there was bitchiness there too. Also, to be honest, none of the boys spoke to me really. So i laugh at the notion that every girl emerges from mixed school with lots of platonic male friends.

I just dont think the advantages of mixed outweigh being the closest school.

Which is nearest?

SlicedLemon Mon 09-Dec-13 07:07:00

arrrgh my phone
apologies for the awful typos.

TheRaniOfYawn Mon 09-Dec-13 07:09:35

I went to a girls' grammar school and it was just right for me. I was very shy and lacking in confidence in my (mixed) primary school and the atmosphere was so nurturing that it gave me lots of confidence and I made really good friends. I want interested in science, but if I had a daughter who showed an aptitude for STEM subjects I would definitely consider single sex education, as there was so much encouragement to study subjects like physics and engineering whereas my friends in mixed schools who enjoyed science almost all went off to study medicine or vetinary medicine. I was a bit of a late starter when it came to boys so it was really nice to be in an environment where I didn't have pressure to have a boyfriend and where female friendships were more important.

rememberingnothing Mon 09-Dec-13 07:13:40

I went to a gs after 13 plus (ages and locates self) I loved the change from the mixed school I had been in. I would send my DDs there in a heartbeat but as others have said, only if it suites them.

ILoveAFullFridge Mon 09-Dec-13 07:16:29

I don't know where the rest of my post went!

Anyway, I screwed up academically and ended up with chronic depression and low self-esteem. I also had absolutely no idea how to relate to boys - I'm actually amazed that nothing bad ever happened to me in Uni!

Where the school let me down, I think, was in pastoral care.

As for my own dc, 2 of them I would never send to single-sex, but for 1 of them I would consider single sex if it was the right school in other ways. The 2 need the mixed society of a mixed school, the 1 would probably focus better at a single sex school, and is sociable enough not to struggle with the gender issues.

IrisWildthyme Mon 09-Dec-13 07:23:42

It's going to completely depend on the personality of your DD - and you need to be aware that you may not necessarily be the best judge of this. Is your DD old enough to ask her yourself yet?

I was sent to an all-girls senior school and it was very much the wrong decision for me. I hated it. My mother based the decision on what was right for her 30 years previously and didn't think about how it would suit me as an individual.

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