DS is quite socially adapt, though quirky and with a slightly unusual sense of humour (just like his dad). His class had a succession of unlucky situations with teachers (lots of supply, teachers getting ill, going on maternity leave, etc). I supported him at home in his learning and he’s doing well.
This year the school finally cracked down on the fact that the class is behind (esp in literacy) and assigned two experienced teachers who do a job share. Now, the problem emerged that he is constantly told off by the teachers and is extremely unhappy. Literally every Monday he cries and doesn’t want to go to school (though he likes his friends there and wouldn’t want to leave). Still every morning there is a problem.
Today’s parent evening revealed the situation to be quite bad (I didn’t realize how bad). I couldn’t recognize DS in how the teachers were describing him. They had, I would say, no sense of who he is and painted a picture in which some arrogant little bastard is dismissive and rude – especially to academically weak pupils. I felt they’ve put him (and me) into a box “arrogant smartie” and were quite aggressive. Not a single good word about him was uttered. He is not at all the smartest kid in the class or anything like it and in fact he doesn’t have a very high self-esteem. He is quite quirky and I have to say we’re both foreign with a very different cultural background (to English) which can I imagine result in some miscommunication. For him, English is a SL. Still, the teachers pointed out how he finds it difficult to do group work with the weakest children (and remain positive and kind and approving of their ideas) – presumably because of having a very high opinion about himself.
The school is an inner city East London school in a relatively deprived neighborhood with a lot of disadvantaged and vulnerable children. It has a very good reputation and is very good in dealing with bullying; generally there is a very positive atmosphere.
I am totally confused about what to do. I feel that being a weaker and a disadvantaged child is better there than being a stronger and less evidently struggling pupil. I also think it might be quite difficult for a 8yo to always remain positive when he might not be interested / can get frustrated. I fear that he is punished for being bright and slightly unusual. I also feel he is being hammered into some sort of enforced niceness. Don’t get me wrong, it is good being nice and I enjoy people being nice to me which starts in primary school, but he recently told me that now he knows how to avoid conflict at school: never tell what you think but always say: “how nice, this is great”. I think this is awful if this is the result of schooling at the age of 8.
Sorry this is long! Would appreciate any opinions.
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child in conflict with teachers
31 replies
innercity · 25/11/2013 22:24
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