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Gay kids in school : they do not realise how far society has come.

(86 Posts)
Talkinpeace Sun 07-Jul-13 17:09:39

Was collecting DD from an event at school the other day and one of her incredibly camp friends was tease flirting with some of the boys.
And they all just take it as read.
that one is blonde
that one is tall
that one is a girl
that one is gay
that one is brown
and I realised how incredible the change is from 30 years ago when I was at school and Tom Robinson was in the charts.

People may moan about education
BUT the tolerance and acceptance being developed in our children will allow them to get the maximum potential out of everybody without the racial and sexual constraints we faced

which can only be for the good?

Talkinpeace Sat 13-Jul-13 22:47:28

I cannot quite explain how pleased I am to have posts that say "my selective school gets it" because it proves the change is pervasive

I can still utterly visualie the evening at the Eltham College school disco
"sing if you're happy THIS way"

FastLoris Sat 13-Jul-13 22:03:17

I've been stuck by the same thing as the OP in regard to my DS's school. There is one boy in his class who is openly gay (and my son is only in year 8), and DS comes home with stories of very overtly camp things this boy has said and done, without the slightest hint that anybody cares or would bully him for it.

I don't pretend that all schools are that way, of course. But even the fact that some are, even if only a minority, is still an incredibly positive development from when I went to school.

Oh... except that my DS is at a grammar school, so I must have imagined it all. Silly me.

curryeater Fri 12-Jul-13 20:54:30

congratulations wordfactory

wordfactory Fri 12-Jul-13 18:52:39

Talkin DH isn't back yet (on route from Moscow)...should be home for 8pm. But the fizz is in the fridge and I have made chocolate fondants grin.

Talkinpeace Fri 12-Jul-13 18:47:32

flowers wordfactory hope you are having fizzy in the sunshine

wordfactory Fri 12-Jul-13 18:45:16

And there was me assuming Bonsoir that you weren't married to avoid the sill married persons tax laws in France wink...

Would now be a good time to mention that it is my wedding anniversary today? Sixteen years grin.

Talkinpeace Fri 12-Jul-13 18:37:05

curryeater I told you Bonsoir would have thought it through!

I agree about the "example" angle - that is not what DCs school did.

They used it as an excuse to go to the church (c of e school) to look around with no service on, to learn that relationships should not be short term rubbish and the older kids looked at surname protocols in different countries (which I found interesting)

When another person later had a v v late miscarriage, they had some perspective as to why she was so wrecked for a while.

All about understanding and respecting the viewpoints of others

which is neatly back at my OP

PS my wedding was not tacky, it was a blast : I now have to have my wedding dress reduced 4 sizes so I can wear it for my 20th anniversary dinner!

curryeater Fri 12-Jul-13 17:15:22

(also, weddings are tacky)
[runs away]

Bonsoir Fri 12-Jul-13 16:45:51


curryeater Fri 12-Jul-13 16:36:16

I totally get you Bonsoir.

Bonsoir Fri 12-Jul-13 16:29:51

I don't mind people getting married providing it is a private affair and I know they are committed and respectful and free-thinking!

But teachers' weddings being used as some kind of example for poor unwitting DC... eeugh.

Talkinpeace Fri 12-Jul-13 16:12:10

Gosh, Bonsoir I find it sad that you feel that way.
My parents marriage was a disaster, why is why I waited so long before I got married. But it did not make me write off the whole concept.
What will you do if one of your children wants to get married?
Do you go to the weddings of friends and families?
And actually, its only soundbite politicians who hold it up as a "holy grail" - the rest of us just quite like the sense of security.

What are your thoughts on civil partnerships?

motherinferior Fri 12-Jul-13 16:11:15

And agree about the private horrors.

motherinferior Fri 12-Jul-13 16:10:51

I too am deeply anti-marriage and yes, my children appear to be even more anti it than I am. I am sure it is a lovely institution. If you want to live in an institution.

Bonsoir Fri 12-Jul-13 16:06:02

I am anti-marriage because couple relationships and family life ought to be about respect and support, and marriage is no guarantee of that whatsoever and hides a multitude of horrors most of the time! And yet is held up as some kind of holy grail.

Talkinpeace Fri 12-Jul-13 16:05:46

I do not know. Bonsoir usually has detailed reasons for saying what she does.

curryeater Fri 12-Jul-13 16:02:26

Dying of curiosity here, Talkinpeace, on that question! do you think she will come back?

I bet it will be:

I am anti-marriage because I have never been to a truly chic wedding, they are intrinsically petit-bourgeois and poshlost

Talkinpeace Fri 12-Jul-13 15:58:16

As someone who is deeply anti-marriage
Out of interest, why?
And are you passing on your quite unusual view to your children?
(PS I got married after living with DH for 9 years, registry office, fab parties, never changed my name)

curryeater Fri 12-Jul-13 15:02:25

Why are you anti-marriage, Bonsoir?

I would hate to be the teacher whose private life was dragged into the spotlight like a sow in a children's farm with a row of piglets. can you opt out? Can you say "I am just here to teach Maths and am a private individual"?

Bonsoir Fri 12-Jul-13 14:56:40

"and whenever my teachers / kids teachers have got married / had kids - its used as a PSHE positive topic."

As someone who is deeply anti-marriage, I would be horrified if my DCs' teachers' weddings were being used as positive role-modelling exercises.

Talkinpeace Fri 12-Jul-13 13:15:49

they do still use the insults - "that haircut looks gay" being one of DDs classic lines
the words have utterly lost their bite to the kids
in fact to the lovely lad I referred to in my OP they tease him that he might turn out straight wink

The fact that teachers of all backgrounds can bring their partners to the carol service is surely a good role model / message to the kids
and whenever my teachers / kids teachers have got married / had kids - its used as a PSHE positive topic.

the school you are a gov at : I admire your perseverance in trying to do the right thing but agree that certain communities are 40 years behind others.

wordfactory Fri 12-Jul-13 11:03:27

Bonsoir the school is small. And there is boarding (though flexi not full).

It has been a genuine pleasure to watch it in action (I had my doubts before she started)...

That said, for sixth form, I suspect she will leave and try ofr a London school. Possibly DS' school. Very different culture there wink.

ouryve Fri 12-Jul-13 10:41:35

I frequently hear homophobic and disablist language from teens. We haven't come that far in 30 years.

Bonsoir Fri 12-Jul-13 10:39:29

While I think it might work in some schools, I very much doubt that you could generalise that sort of practice.

And I always prefer the more professional, slightly distanced teachers to the ones that wear their hearts on their sleeves and let us know all about their inner lives.

wordfactory Fri 12-Jul-13 09:50:50

Oh it's a very freindly school. A proper community. At speech day the teachers attend with their partners. As they do the Christmas feast.

All the usual bollocks about schools being a big family, are actually true about this school.

The HT believes it's the best way to attain. And boy do they attain!

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