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Please primary teachers - could you level a piece of writing for me?

(6 Posts)
Bonsoir Wed 15-May-13 17:24:54

My DD is 8.6 and at school in France, primarily in French though it is a bilingual French-English school. Moderated evaluation and assessment for English is not on offer. This is a piece of writing she did on her own for fun during the holidays. I would be really grateful for feedback as to NC level. It is "as is".

The Golden orb

Long ago in a little town called Bethlehem lived a little girl named Susan who was very kind and gentle, although her cat Tabby was always a bit agressive, so on weekends like this one she want to find a nice orb for Tabby to play with… she looked and looked until there it was the nicest orb Susan had ever seen was just under her nose. A nice golden orb was waiting for her to come. “Oh what a nice golden orb. Tabby will love this!” she cried and bought it. “Would you like it raped up young lady” said the sales man. “It’s free.” “OK” said Susan with a smile. And she went back home. When she gave her present to Tabby, he was not just only happy, he was astonished. All these years Tabby thought Susan hated him, but no. He loved his new toy and now days Susan and Tabby would play hide and seek with it. But one morning Tabby could not find his golden orb anywhere. Where is it? Tabby asked himself. He went to see next door and what could he see? The next door cat had stolen his golden orb!!! “That’s mine! That golden orb is mine!” “No it’s mine.” Said a little voice. “Oh! That! That’s yours. I found it here and…” “Well, it is mine, give it to me!” so Tabby went back home with his golden orb. “I have it back forever!” he said to himself (he actually was proud of himself).

PurpleAlert Thu 16-May-13 09:45:25

Nice piece of writing.

A lack of paragraphs would put it somewhere in the 3c/3b range which is about right for a child in year 4.

Uses a wide range of punctuation- mostly correct- although I would expesct to see question marks used correctly.

Good spelling with plausible errors

Range of sentence types both simple and compound.

Range of connectives.

Sentences not always started with name or pronoun.

Range of descriptive devices/ interesting vocabulary.

Future targets would be to:

Use paragraphs

More advanced puntuation for dialogue- e.g. new line new speaker.

Bonsoir Thu 16-May-13 10:06:02

Thank you very much!

musu Fri 17-May-13 13:50:54

If your dd is 8.6 (ie she turns 9 in November) then she would be in year 3 here not year 4.

Bonsoir Fri 17-May-13 18:13:46

Yes, I know!

maree1 Sat 18-May-13 09:40:59

"Did on her own for fun in the holidays". She'll do well wherever she goes.

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