Advice on New School

[clapton]

Our son (13) has been very unsettled in his current secondary school. We have found out this week he has ADHD, we suspected this to be the case for a long time and told his school about our initial concerns.

They have been very unsupportive and refused to take this into considertation when managing his behaviour and issuing sanctions. With him being very unahappy we looked into other schools and he has been offered a place at a good school with fantastic support. Of course we accepted and notifed the current school he will be leaving in a few days.

They are insisting a meeting takes place with leadership and governors to discuss his behaviour because he has had so many detentions. The punishment for this is being placed on a report to be monitored by the governors. Of course if he were staying at the school we would attend the meeting but see little point when he is leaving in 2 days time.

We have worked closely with CAMHS who have been fantastic and psychologist said his behaviour in school is symptomatic of his ADHD.

We were all so happy he has the chance of a fresh start but feel stressed over this meeting which does not seem necessary.

Would really appreciate some thoughts.

Thank you

[clapton]

Sorry should point out it is the current school who are insisting the meeting re. behaviour takes place and not the new one!!

[creamteas]

I don't understand why they want a meeting about ongoing behaviour either. Do the people organising the meeting know you are leaving? In a school with lots of staff, the information might not be that well disseminated

If it is really is that, I would say you can't make the date, and could they postpone (which would be till after he has left)

[seeker]

And why was his behaviour being monitored by the governors?

[burberryqueen]

If you have written the letter withdrawing him from the school then i think you could safely ignore demands for a meeting - but make sure that this does not reflect badly on you in the new school by writing a letter stating that you do not see the need for a meeting as he will no longer be at the school.

[clapton]

Thank you for your replies. I am so stressed out over this.

The governors monitoring behaviour is part of their behaviour management.

I work in education and have never heard anything so ridiculous! We have sent very polite letters to the head a) informing them of DS leaving and b) requesting meeting is postponed.

We have copied the Chair of Governors in all correspondence and hope common sense prevails.

The new school said as far as they are concerned its a fresh start but we will let them know what's going on in case old school ring them and paint a bad picture.

If it were my school we would be glad the meeting didn't go ahead because time is so valuable not to mention all the paper work.

DS is a bright boy and has never been in serious trouble. He needs strong boundaries and a good routine. At home he is fine but in school this year he's had a number of teacher changes in core subjects.

He is also very literal and does not respond well to sarcasm etc. when he has 'challenged' a teacher on why they have not followed through on something they've said he gets very agitated. School see this as defiance and this is why he's had so many detentions and the fact he was not writing homework instructions in his planner properly, which meant unfinished work or none at all. We asked if teachers could check his planner or write it in for him but this never happened.

I naively thought they would be relieved to see him go and that would be the end of this nightmare! Lets see what happens this week

Thanks again for comments, I am beginning to calm down now.

[Mutteroo]

I used to be a chair of governors & we regularly became involved if a child was very close to the exclusion process. It didn't always work, but the HT asked for our support & we gave it. I admit I've never come across a school who did things the way we did!

As for that meeting; It may be that the school are trying to work on a better way to support pupils with behavioural issues? You have no obligation to go to any meeting, however, it may help the school stop future pupils slipping through the cracks? Just a thought.

All the best with your son's new school. My DC have dyslexia & DD was misdiagnosed with ADD before that. Sometimes a fresh start is just the answer.

[clapton]

Thank you for your post. Meeting was cancelled as head saw no point given he was leaving in a couple of days. Such a relief.

I think the new start will be a positive experience, and perhaps just what he needs.

Thanks again for comments.