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Letter from headteacher, how do i respond?

(9 Posts)
gigglewiggle Wed 17-May-06 10:19:31

Had a letter from sons headteacher yesterday. Basically about his agressive behaviour in the playground at lunchtimes. Him and another child have had problems since starting in Sept (they are in reception) in that they argue which results in fights. For example my ds took his ball to school yesterday and so did this other child, at lunchtime the other child decided he wanted my ds's ball and kicked my ds and took the ball resulting in my ds hitting back.

Im not saying my ds is innocent as its probably a 50/50 split to who starts the arguments but i dont know what to do about it.

His punishment for the letter is not watching tv or using the pc for 3 days. He knows fighting is wrong but is tired of being hurt by this other child all the time. He has had his glasses broken and cuts and scratches. Also want to add that my ds is the biggest and oldest in reception so always looks guilty!

They are the best of friends for the majority of the day and then worst enemies!! I have tried everything to make them get on better, i took them both to the circus a while back, the other child was naughty the whole time, shaking the benches and spitting popcorn, he then kept hitting ds when they were in the back of the car (i could see in the mirror).

My DH took ds to school today and the other parent was talking to the teacher and he overheard her saying "im sick of this, its not my ds its the other child so why do i keep getting letters"

I have spoken to the other parent before and she has had quite a few letters. We get on well until these incidents and then she is funny with me after getting letters as if its my fault my son fights with hers.

How do i respond? Do i write back to headteacher stating that i have spoken to DS and he has been punished and understands not to fight?

Something needs to be done at school to stop them playing together i feel, I have even thought of offering to supervise at lunchtimes but then what happens if the other boy starts a will look like i am picking on him or something if i tell him off or tell the headteacher.

I really feel like moving my ds to another school because of this 1 other child!

Sorry for the rant!

Bugsy2 Wed 17-May-06 10:31:12

I think you should go & see the headteacher & talk about this.

coppertop Wed 17-May-06 10:34:26

I agree that it's best to speak to the Head in person. Explain that you are takig this very seriously at home but that the school needs to work with you to resolve this, eg closer supervision, separating the boys at lunchtime etc.

blueamema Wed 17-May-06 10:50:57

Go and talk to the head...i'm sure he would'nt want you to move your son to a different school.

They will probably move them around so that they are not in contact with each other as much.

Best to do it in person to show your commitment to his education.

I'm sure it will be fine.

Blueamema (teacher)

blueamema Wed 17-May-06 10:52:40

P.S don't apologies, sounds like you needed that rant!!!!

DominiConnor Wed 17-May-06 10:58:03

I suppose I do have to ask that you are sure that Ds's version of events is entirely accurate ?

NikkiH Wed 17-May-06 11:02:18

Ditto - talk to the head. It could be that a meeting could be arranged between you, the other parent and the school and some way worked out of either keeping the children apart or encouraging and rewarding them for playing well together.

The school should have strategies for dealing with this kind of thing and if you talk to them about it there may be ways you can reinforce at home what they are doing in school and vice versa.


belleofball Wed 17-May-06 11:08:49

Hi giggle,
Really feel for you. Have had similar probs with Ds2 (7). It takes alot to get him angry but he kept getting in trouble for retaliating! The other child was getting away with bullying him as my Ds wouldn't tell on him.
I would go to see the head and explain it as you have here.
Good luck.

Littlefish Wed 17-May-06 20:09:16

How big is the playground? I'm a teacher and in the past, when we've had situations like this, we've organsed for each child to use a different part of the playground. Also, I used to make sure that each child had a different group of friends to play with so that there was no reason for them to be together. We asked specific dinner supervisers to keep an eye on each child and to immediately praise any good games which were going in. It's really important to break the cycle of bad behaviour/punishment at school.

Are both boys in the same Reception class? Is there only one class in each year, or is there an opportunity to move one or other of them at the end of this school year to give them both an opportunity to develop other friendships?

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