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Ds crying at nursery!

(7 Posts)
belleofball Tue 16-May-06 13:02:49

Ds3 age 4.Teacher called me in today. Said....
"Me and (ds) have had a falling out today, ds would not talk to me and put his tongue in his cheek when asked a Qs, it was a v.sad event and i'm sure it wont happen again." Amongst other things
All the time she was towering over him and pointing a finger then getting close she said,"I dont want this to happen tomorrow as we have a lot of work to do".
Ds looked frightened and went v.red.
I played it down a bit and said that they have these moments sometimes dont they, when they dont want to speak.I said i'd speak to him at home and try to find out what was wrong(to get out really)
Ds said that he couldn't remember what a story was called and that she made him cry.
I am getting more angry at this, there have been other things happen with other children and parents are moaning.
Do you think i should say anything?

southeastastra Tue 16-May-06 13:39:59

Yes have it out with teacher, no teacher should make a child cry like that,it makes my angry when teachers say things like 'we had a falling out', my ds teacher always says 'we had a bad day today' argh!

She needs to know she upset him, at that age children are so sensitive.

Why was it a sad event, surely teachers are used to children being quiet sometimes. How not to inspire confidence?

belleofball Tue 16-May-06 14:12:11

Sorry south.Posted twice.was watching other thread!
I know,they seem so negative about everything!
a lot of the mums have been talking about the way they do things, and we have all said that the children love going there and are happy so don't moan, maybe it's a parent thing. But as time goes on i'm beginning to think that they like it if your child is submissive and quiet (the're in control)but as soon as a child tries to show any character they jump on them!!

belleofball Wed 17-May-06 09:52:55

Went to see ds teacher yesterday afternoon.
I tried to keep calm,emotions aside etc etc.
She couldn't understand why i thought he shouldn't be made to talk.She said that he is always fine in class, well behaved,answers Qs well, happy to join in.
I said, that is my point. It is unusual for him to be like that,so why the big fuss and tell him off, and say thats daft and laugh at him when he was crying!
She just kept looking at me as if i was mad!I told her that i think the children are scared of her and the other teacher (who she kept looking at while i was talking)thats why they are so compliant. She didn't really have anything to say in return,but made me feel V.stupid and angry.
Ds didn't want to go in and was nearly crying when i left. I had a cry on my friends shoulder!
Sorry rant over!

snowleopard Wed 17-May-06 10:06:16

That's awful Belle, I hate that use of manipulative language - a "sad event" and a "falling out" makes it sound like they are equals - in fact she is the adult and it's for her to be consistent and supportive of your DS when he's upset or being difficult - yes there need to be boundaries, but not horrible passive-aggressive bullying. Pointing her finger, towering over him and scaring him! ugh I hated teachers like that when I was a child and I still do.

Unfortunately as she's not prepared to see your point of view there's not much you can do about her - but if it goes on I'd consider going higher, or is there any way DS could go somewhere else?

belleofball Wed 17-May-06 10:14:44

Hi snow,
Funny enough i looked into moving all my boys a little while ago because of other issues in the school, but when i dug deeper into my other option it seemed a case of Better the devil you know!!
he has only got a couple of months left (starts rec in sept) so i'm hoping that there won't be any more probs. DH thinks i should take him out until he starts reception, but i think i might make it harder for him?

snowleopard Wed 17-May-06 13:19:00

I suppose if it goes on and he's frightened all the time, I'd take him out. But it might blow over.

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