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my son is being punished for our religious stance

(303 Posts)
LiloLils Tue 09-Apr-13 03:43:14

...this is a bold statement but its how I feel.

There isn't any point to my post but the subject is keeping me awake so thought it might help to write it down on a public forum and see if I'm not the only one who is saddened by this.

Basically my DH and I are non religious. I was brought up catholic and he was brought up church of England but somewhere along the line we both lost our faith and sided with reason. Myself particularly...I have a bit of a problem with organised religion. there are personal reasons for this.

Long story short. If we stick to our guns and don't get our boy christened into either Catholicism or church of England, he is going to have to attend the worst school in the borough.

It just really angers me. Why in this day and age do we have to jump through hoops, lie about our beliefs, and subject our children to learning fairy tales as fact, in order to get them into a "good" school?

I have never been so torn about a decision in my life. I'm being pressured by family and friends to get him christened just to get him into a good school. They make me feel guilty by saying things like "do it for your child. I'd do anything for my child...wouldn't you?" It just feels all wrong.

SingingSilver Fri 17-May-13 00:32:18

Good for you OP. I'm non-religious myself. If I could go back and do it all again I'd have put my son in the local Catholic school. The school he ended up in was ruled by the council estate thug kids, he had a hellish time, and I actually had to remove him and home educate for three years because I was worried he'd carry out his threats to kill himself.

I have told similarly minded family members to put their childrens wellbeing ahead of their principles. So many non-religious schools are hellpits, I walk past a local one to go to work and the kids hang out of the windows (at 10 in the morning) hooting and screeching. They look more like a small and unruly prison population, than children in an educational environment.

LiloLils Fri 17-May-13 10:30:52

Thanks so much for the positive comments. I expected a back lash, I thought people would be disgusted at my hypocrisy! I feel so much better since my decision and I'm getting into it now...I'm going to ask the priest if I can set up a drama group for the kids (they had one when I was a child and I loved it) son is 8 months old. Admission criteria for the secondary schools state that you get 2 more points if baptised before 6 months...really shite that I didn't make my decision sooner but I can gain more points by getting involved with the church, so that's what I'll do.

I've mellowed out about the whole thing now. I still think its a really unfair system, but I'm happy to play the game now for the sake of my son.

thesecretmusicteacher Fri 17-May-13 13:21:06

you've made your peace with something (the Catholic Church) that was always going to be a big part of your life for good or bad.
that's important for you and your family xx

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