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Undeserved bursary

(314 Posts)
Hamstersball Sat 16-Mar-13 23:13:20

I know a child that has been offered a very substantial bursary at my dd's independent school. She has passed the academic selection process and on the surface can be very charming, able to talk to grown ups at ease etc. However we have known her for several years as dd1 and her are in the same brownies pack and her behaviour has always been dreadful: picking fights with other dc, racist and foul language, lying when confronted, bullying other children. I can only conclude that her school lied between their teeth about her when they gave her a reference to support her bursary application as several mothers who know her at school say her behaviour is also dreadful there. I'm really tempted to inform dd's school about the true nature of this child and want to know if anyone has done something similar and what was the outcome.

Tortington Sat 16-Mar-13 23:15:04

why the fuck would you do that?

Bluestocking Sat 16-Mar-13 23:16:03

Do you really think this is any of your business? If the school do decide this child isn't an appropriate awardee for a bursary, they'll deal with it themselves.

ArtexMonkey Sat 16-Mar-13 23:16:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MerryMingeWhingesAgain Sat 16-Mar-13 23:17:14

You sound jealous. And bitter.

Floralnomad Sat 16-Mar-13 23:17:38

Seriously? Are you the Brownie leader ,if so you should have dealt with her behaviour ,if you're not where does your info come from ? children and other gossipy parents . Mind your own business.

difficultpickle Sat 16-Mar-13 23:29:09

If her behaviour is as you describe then surely the school will find out without you saying anything?

Hamstersball Sat 16-Mar-13 23:30:45

Although not a leader I regularly help out on pack nights and weekend camps and i went on a week long summer camp with them last year so have had lots of opportunities to observe this particular child's behaviour. As a parent helper I was told dealing with behavioral issues is not part of my responsibilities and this should be left to the leaders. I'm concerned that she will latch onto dd at the school as she will know no one else and maybe make life unpleasant for her. I'm also feeling angry as I don't think the primary school has been truthful in their reference ( probably to avoid any hassle) and she has got a bursary through it. I know several other academic and well behaved dc who applied for a bursary at the school and were turned down and really feel for them.

difficultpickle Sat 16-Mar-13 23:35:42

A bursary is based on income. It has nothing to do with the child but everything to do with parents' income. If others were turned down for a bursary maybe their income was more?

If you are concerned about this child latching on to your dd then you can say to the school that there is a history between them and you would prefer it if your dd was in a different class.

I assume that academically this child qualified for admission and financially her parents qualified for a bursary. If her behaviour is as you describe then the school will soon discover this for themselves. If you say something the only person who will look bad is you.

timidviper Sat 16-Mar-13 23:37:52

I thought bursaries were income based? and everybody knows at least half of them are totally undeserved anyway

Hamstersball Sat 16-Mar-13 23:44:07

Since our fees contribute to the bursary scheme I do feel we have some stake in who its awarded to. I'm concerned about the information schools get about bursary applicants it seems to rests totally on the previous schools HTs reference. Does anyone know if they get to see the applicants actual school record to date?

TheOriginalSteamingNit Sat 16-Mar-13 23:45:25

Maybe you need to find a school with better values?

prh47bridge Sat 16-Mar-13 23:45:43

Not all bursaries are income based. Some schools offer bursaries to the children who performed best in the entrance tests.

On the original question I would strongly advise doing nothing. If you tell the school the "true nature" of this child it is very unlikely they will take your word for it. I doubt they will even investigate. It will, however, reflect badly on you.

Kyrptonite Sat 16-Mar-13 23:47:30

Perhaps the school is what the child needs to sort herself out? Maybe the previous schools reference was based on issues you have no idea about and you should keep your beak out.

Floralnomad Sat 16-Mar-13 23:47:34

Just because your fees help others who are less able to pay I don't think that gives you any rights to vet the applicants . bisjo has given good advice .

MTSgroupie Sat 16-Mar-13 23:47:38

As others have said, a bursary is based on the parents' income and not based on the recipient being the nicest and sweetest little angel in the new Year 7.

ArtexMonkey Sat 16-Mar-13 23:50:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Labro Sun 17-Mar-13 00:00:52

bursaries are awarded on qualifying criteria, for example means tested, if the school feel they can meet a particular social need etc. I've known schools base bursaries on a proven social need, so you have no idea what the HT wrote in their reference! They may have been extremely honest and the new school feel that this child fulfils their criteria where others don't. If you do anything about this its just going to come across as sour grapes as you have no way of knowing the childs full situation. You can if you wish ask for your dd to be in different class if you have proof that the child is a problem to your dd, but this would have nothing to do with the application or bursary process.

Hamstersball Sun 17-Mar-13 00:11:35

On reading the schools bursary scheme literature it does state that it awards bursaries to candidates who have met the highest criteria for academics and have shown exemplary behaviour, the latter I can vouch this child does not qualify for. In fact if my dd ended up with the sort of behaviour I've witnessed from this girl I'll be wanting my money back.

difficultpickle Sun 17-Mar-13 00:14:49

Then you have nothing to be concerned about. If this child is as you describe then they won't be at the school for long. It does sound a bit as if your dd and you are better than this other child and their parents and don't want to be faced with your dd becoming friends with the child of people you consider are socially inferior. I hope that I've misunderstood your concern. Money doesn't make manners imvho.

Labro Sun 17-Mar-13 00:19:37

But its not up to you. The head teacher and governors make the decisions based on the paperwork presented to them, not on the gossip of school gate mums or activity groups. My ds goes to school with a child who is a complete nightmare at scouts but is fine in the school environment, your dd doesn't go to school currently with this child so we are suggesting that you don't have the facts fully available, there could be confidential information involved, an sen, all sorts of reasons as to why she has still been awarded the bursary, passing the academic criteria doesn't rule out high functioning sen for example.

Hamstersball Sun 17-Mar-13 00:26:31

It has nothing to do with feeling that this girl is socially inferior or her manners what I object to is her behaviour which can be appalling. On one camp she did a turn which included jokes poking fun at different races complete with facial gestures and accents. She is regularly in some sort of fight with other dc which the leaders have to break up. Bitching and stirring is second nature to her. She insults dc from other ethnicities on the sly and tries to get out doing anything she can't be bothered with, but because she can put on the charm our thick Brown Owl does never actually carries out the threatened punishments.

Kyrptonite Sun 17-Mar-13 00:30:11

Gosh you sound delightful. Maybe she is repeating things she hears at home? Maybe this school will educate her about other races and cultures. Maybe, just maybe, she is insecure and showing off at brownies and she may need help socially.

I'm failing to understand why this girl or her bursary is any of your concern.

Floralnomad Sun 17-Mar-13 00:30:15

And the adults present at this camp just let her carry on with 'her turn' ! I'm amazed , if you are that concerned why did you not say something at the time and why do you still allow your daughter to attend such a badly run Brownies .

DeepRedBetty Sun 17-Mar-13 00:36:47

Just step away.

If she's that bad new school will deal with it. If you don't trust them to deal with this stuff why are you sending your own dd there?

Ask them to put your own dd in a different tutor group (I did this, it worked, re a Bad Influence coming up from prep).

And Breathe....

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