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Do you actually know an indie family?

(134 Posts)
TotallyBS Wed 20-Feb-13 22:39:58

We chose to go private because we don't have any grammar schools in our catchment and the local. comps aren't brilliant. Other choose private because their state schools have to work hard just to be not brilliant. Many of us would love to put the fees towards reducing out mortgage or holidays for e.g. if only we had decent state schools to send our kids to.

Of course there are those choose private imply because they have the disposable income such they don't have to carry out a cost benefit analysis. They do it for the same reason you like a nice hotel while on holiday complete with room service, big pool and a kids club ie nothing to do with avoiding less well off families.

As for the parents, away from places like Eton, they tend to be accountants, dentists, estate agents and the like. So not much opportunity for social climbing at most indies

The above is the preamble to the question in the subject because judging from the views expresseb by various anti private posters, very few of you actually know an indie family.

I mean, all they seem to go on about is how indie parents are snobby, social climbing and don't want their kids to mix with less well off kids. Maybe those generalisations are true for places like Eton but most indies that trade on their academic record are full of ordinary albeit well paid people.

So the next time you go on about how some parents think that the state system is full of underachieving DCS born to unsupportive WC parents, have a good look at the mirror. I suspect the person that you see isn't that different from the person you are complaining about.

Incidentally, there is another school gate politics thread going on at the moment. Apparently state school moms can be bitchy and clique-ey. shock horror grin

TheOriginalSteamingNit Thu 21-Feb-13 10:14:10

Well, that's a very specific group of people you've chosen to direct your wrath at, BS, and I wish you well with it.

TotallyBS Thu 21-Feb-13 10:18:08

Indrid - why is it that posters can take the position that state schools are great and that sink schools are not representative of the comp experience?

But I can't make the argument that public schools like Eton are not representative of the private school experience.

Isn't that double standards? I don't see many examples of double standards in threads about private education hence my request for clarification.

And just to make some posters stop whinging, please feel free to substitute 'indie families' with 'families where one or more child or parent has been educated in the private sector'.

By the way, assuming that you are serious, why did you think that a thread in Education would be about music??? Or is that you being deliberately obtuse?

TotallyBS Thu 21-Feb-13 10:22:10


I struggle to understand why people like to watch Jeremy Kyle. But that hardly means I am directing my 'wrath' at them.

Similarly I struggle to understand why some (pls note the 'some') people like to generalise about people that they don't know.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Thu 21-Feb-13 10:26:46

Increasingly, BS, I suspect the list of things you struggle to understand would stretch quite a way.

ScottyDoc Thu 21-Feb-13 10:33:09

OP why do you keep saying "deliberately obtuse"? Do you think that sounds smart?

seeker Thu 21-Feb-13 10:34:17

" "As I said upthread, my comments are directed at people who think that private school parents base their decision on snobbery, opportunities to social climb etc"

Well, I do actually know people who have sent their children to private school for those very reasons. But as far as I can recall, only one poster has expressed such opinions over th past 24 hours. And you have already said you didn't mean her.

So who do you mean?

tethersend Thu 21-Feb-13 10:36:11

Well done for keeping going, Totally smile

Although you've used 'deliberately obtuse' twice now, so you may want to look up another phrase in your I Spy book of arguments. You little tinker, you.

<ruffles Totally's hair playfully>

RedwingOnFire Thu 21-Feb-13 10:37:23

I don't know anyone who could afford to sent their children to private school and it's simply so far off my radar I cannot be bothered even thinking about it!

Why am I even on this thread? I thought it meant indie as in alternative living types! Do you refer to it as "indie" to not have stigma of the phrase "private" tho? Like you're not like all those social climbing Eton types?! See nothing wrong with stereotyping the next ladder up like you feel hard done by stereotyped?!?

Salbertina Thu 21-Feb-13 10:38:30


Salbertina Thu 21-Feb-13 10:39:10

grin was in response to Tether's message

TheSecondComing Thu 21-Feb-13 10:40:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Thu 21-Feb-13 10:43:05

Well thank you for the laugh I have had reading this thread!

grin at tether!

diabolo Thu 21-Feb-13 10:44:05

I use independent education.

I am not an "indie" parent.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Thu 21-Feb-13 10:45:21

Ps. Op....the thread pops up in the 'most active' list so I for one had no idea that it was originally posted in Education until I started reading it and worked out that I was not going to find out about the alternative music scene wink

"Well, that's a very specific group of people you've chosen to direct your wrath at, BS, and I wish you well with it. " grin

It's an interesting twist on the straw man argument, isn't it?
"If you aren't this weird parody I've invented, then don't respond to the thread <bangs head on table>"

IndridCold Thu 21-Feb-13 10:48:17

Totally you can make whatever arguements you like, however, this thread is about the parents - how and why they choose private and what their social background is - not about the quality of schools.

I'm just saying that on the whole Eton parents are no different from parents at other independent schools in those respects.

Lostonthemoors Thu 21-Feb-13 10:49:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Thu 21-Feb-13 10:53:20

Tbh in our village, since the state and private schools are all much of a muchness it comes down to what parents are familiar with from their own childhood and money.

There doesn't appear to be any bitterness or snobbery from either side and there are annoying rude parents at both. confused

Shodan Thu 21-Feb-13 10:53:35

" I accept that certain areas like Surrey and Chelsea have a catchment that is very snobby and very rich"

IME, the kind of person who thinks that all parents who send their children to private school are snobs and social climbers are also the kind that subscribe to the above-quoted point of view.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Thu 21-Feb-13 10:55:13

Oh yeah... My village is south surrey...

BamBam21 Thu 21-Feb-13 10:57:40

My DB sends his 2 DSs to a private school (Steiner). As he is my DB I would say I know him pretty well TotallyBS.

He has always been utterly condescending about state school, despite the fact that both he and I went on to be university educated, and he runs his own successful business. He and SIL decided that they didn't like the other kids and parents at the local nursery and decided to go private. It was basically snobbery that motivated them.

And now I have to keep my own snobbery to myself as my state educated DS1 flourishes academically, while his DSs seem to learn very little other than tree-climbing and bonfire-building (y'know, those essential parts of the curriculumhmm).

Horses for courses really. I couldn't afford private for DS, but genuinely wouldn't want to as I don't believe in the whole principle. They can afford it and decided that their DCs would flourish better in that environment.

TotallyBS Thu 21-Feb-13 10:59:34

Well, I don't have a thesaurus handy and I can't think of a substitute for 'obtuse' so I have to stick with that.

As for the Tom Cruise thing, I was making the point that it's no more relevant to the topic than you knowing someone who knows Richard Branson.

seeker - i'm not aiming my comments at any particular poster or thread. I have been on a number of threads where these comments had been made. Apart from yourself I don't really remember who said what.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Thu 21-Feb-13 11:09:51

obtuse - lacking in insight or discernment; "too obtuse to grasp the implications of his behavior"; "a purblind oligarchy that flatly refused to see that history was condemning it to the dustbin"- Jasper Griffin
undiscerning - lacking discernment

obtuse - slow to learn or understand; lacking intellectual acuity; "so dense he never understands anything I say to him"; "never met anyone quite so dim"; "although dull at classical learning, at mathematics he was uncommonly quick"- Thackeray; "dumb officials make some really dumb decisions"; "he was either normally stupid or being deliberately obtuse"; "worked with the slow students"
dumb, slow, dense, dim, dull
stupid - lacking or marked by lack of intellectual acuity

HTH smile

TotallyBS Thu 21-Feb-13 11:12:53

Indrid - confused You do know that I am the originator of this thread?

I'm asking because you just told me that I can make whatever arguments I want but this isn't what the thread is about.

seeker Thu 21-Feb-13 11:13:02

Disingenuous redefined again!

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