New school taster day - what do you tell the existing school?

[Lovelytohavetheoption]

Our DC have been offered a taster morning and lunch at a school we would like them to attend.
What on earth do I tell the school they will need to be absent from? Bearing in mind this is only a taster day and a place has not formally been offered yet (although a place is available).

[musicalfamily]

We have had to tell my DD's school because the schools asked for a headteacher's report BEFORE the assessment days. I was surprised at the reaction of the head, which was very neutral and not negative or enquiring, just accepting I guess...

[Schmedz]

Just let the school know the real purpose of absence. I am sure your honesty will be appreciated and there are never grounds for refusing absence for this reason. Hope they enjoy the day!

[abittoofat]

Just a word of warning - I did this, and was asked into old heads office and asked why we wanted to leave the current school. I lied. I just said that we liked the extra sports the new school could offer.
Be prepared just in case.

[Lovelytohavetheoption]

Thank you, am glad that honesty seems the best policy.
Slightly cacking myself now though that we'll out ourselves as wanting to change schools and the DC will be treated differently as a result.

[eminemmerdale]

yes, just tell them - I was all embarrassed when we had to it but knew dd would talk about it so no point in making things up!

[eminemmerdale]

I'm getting shitty attitudes from parents, even though have stayed quiet about it, it's hard but dd so far not affected :(

[exexpat]

Not all heads are as understanding.

When DD went for a taster morning at a different school, not only did the head of her existing school class it as unauthorised absence but she also summoned me in to her office for a very hostile chat about whether/when DD might be moving schools. And then didn't speak to me again for D's remaining two terms at that school (an 'outstanding' state primary).

Yes, the head was one of the reasons I was considering changing schools, and if I was undecided before I was summoned in to see her, that pretty much clinched it for me.

[Schmedz]

Ex expat I can see why you wanted to change! I would also hope this is an unusual attitude for a Head to have and not widespread.

It is a bit more 'obvious' when the change comes out of the usual points ( a year or so before 7+, 11+, 13+ is when most parents investigate other options!)

[Lovelytohavetheoption]

When did you tell your DC they are going to visit the new school?
We're thinking the night before to ensure no blabbing to friends/ teachers....
Am I over thinking this?

[Mutteroo]

DD was never going to keep her mouth shut about the taster day so we were open and honest with her old school. The only contact from the school was from the Head of year and DD's English teacher who both wished her luck and asked if there was anything more they could do to help until she left. Shame other staff were so unhelpful! No idea whether the absence was authorised or not? it's only one day after all and as a parent we are trying to do our best for our children.

Good luck to your little darling OP. Hope they have a spectacularly successful day.

[trinity0097]

Tell the truth, it looks far better that way than when you child tells a different story to you!!!

[iseenodust]

I told DS's class teacher who is also the deputy head. Weirdly I felt apologetic as it is a good school. She was fine.

[Chrysanthemum5]

When DS had his taster afternoon we didn't have to tell his current school as they were off that day anyway. However, the new school had asked his school for a report, and I'd been quite upfront with the HT that we were thinking of moving. She was fine with it, and understood our reasons.

To be honest, I got most hassle from other parents who took offence that we were moving DS. So to save DS being upset I just refused to discuss it with anyone in the playground.

[Chrysanthemum5]

Oh and one thing I did to help DS feel he fitted in at the taster day was to buy him a school t shirt. It was only a few £, and it made him the same as the others.

[eminemmerdale]

Chrysthanthemum tell me about it - I have been really quiet but 'word' has got round and I am now targetted by parents! It's ridiculous and I really do not understand!

[Chrysanthemum5]

Well to be fair by moving your child it could be implied that you think the current school isn't good enough. So people who are keeping their children there do get upset. I just didn't really engage with it (apart from one parent I didn't even know who asked me what was wrong with DS that he couldn't cope in a 'normal' school - I gave her my opinion fairly freely!).

Personally I didn't care whether people approved of my decision, and some didn't. I moved DS for very good reasons and its been a great choice for him. But we still live in the same area and he still sees all his old friends so I was never rude about the old school and I only discuss his new school if asked.

[eminemmerdale]

Same here, but it still annoys me when people think I really want to hear what a dreadful person I am

[solidfoundation]

In the end I think honesty is the best policy. There could well be more trouble for your little one if you lie and the truth eventually comes out. I don't think it should count as an unauthorised absence.

[Chrysanthemum5]

eminemmerdale - Yes, that would be pretty annoying. I've not had that experience, but I do know a lot of people really didn't like our decision!

I always think of the penguins from "Madegascar" - "smile, and wave, boys -- smile, and wave"