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Hates school already

(5 Posts)
icepole Wed 28-Nov-12 23:46:42

He started this year and hates it. Upset every morning, says he is bored there. His teacher is concerned because he won't speak to her 90% of the time or any other adult although he is always well behaved. Ds says he is scared although he tells me his teacher is nice.

They have to drag him away from me every morning, it's horrible.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 29-Nov-12 01:50:36

Hello icepole just about to go to bed, bit of a late bird tonight. I hope you found his teacher friendly and approachable, now you have expressed concerns and she has told you about his unwillingness to talk to adults, you at least know she is in the picture and can get regular updates. I would expect her and any classroom support staff to involve and encourage him.

If he has older or younger siblings, either you could ask older siblings to "big up" starting school, or if he has a younger sibling, point out that they only do X, and that would be even more boring being home all day and doing what they do. Especially easy if you have a baby or small toddler, without denigrating them, just point out what a big clever boy he is, etc.

(My DS at about that age expressed concern I'd be lonely, I felt guilty imagining the hours he'd spend at school while I filled my day with his younger sister and "me" time!).

Is he "scared" because it's all new and loud and unfamiliar or has he mentioned anything specific? My DS was an observer rather than a joiner-in, he much preferred getting on with his own thing. My friend's DS found it all "boring", actually he was rather worried about going to the toilet and that played on his mind.

Has he mentioned even one activity he does like at school, even it's playing outside at break time? Then at least he has that x number times a day. Did he go to pre-school, does he know other children by sight from the neighbourhood? Has he friends in that class? I would bribe in the nicest possible way to get him to go in willingly by holding out the promise of a small treat when it's home time.

I imagine you already coax him, to give school a go. Add his teacher and classroom assistant or whoever like him and there are nice boys and girls who will like him too, it's all right if there is only one thing (whatever it is) he likes best. Can you say to him, lots of children in P1 (sorry force of habit, am in Scotland, is he in Foundation class) don't always enjoy much, to start with, but everyone has to go, all children do, and it gets better, (especially just before Christmas).

icepole Thu 29-Nov-12 07:04:44

Scotland here too so he is P1 smile

We had a toilet issue for a while as he is scared to ask the teacher to go but that seems to have settled. He says hates sitting on the carpet as it is boring. He won't tell me what they do then, I don't think it is one thing.

We had parents night recently and everything was fine except this issue and the teacher arranged to talk to the educational psychologist but they said just to leave it for now.

I hate the thought of him being miserable there all day long.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 29-Nov-12 10:27:45

smile hello fellow Scottish school mum.

We had to move when DS was in P1 so he didn't know a soul. Seemingly 99% attended local playgroup or nursery then Reception (pre-school) together so he was quite on his own for ages.

Group time on the carpet could be teacher showing a story book, simple chat about a theme, (weather, birthday boy or girl), then doing arty stuff painting or sticking, lots of colouring in between the lines hmm and sometimes 20 minutes free time with toys, (they're still so wee!).

All you can do is accentuate the positive, cuddles at home, keep in with his teacher and encourage any out of school contact with classmates. Helps if you strike up chat with other P1 parents or carers at pick up time too.

DeWe Thu 29-Nov-12 13:09:16

Just to say my ds was like that last year in reception. Didn't want to go. It was boring. He was acting up. He tried all he could every morning to stay at home.
Then I had to turn up to take him to a SALT session. He was furious at being dragged away from what he was doing and although he wasn't keen to go back in afterwards it showed that he wasn't having as bad a time as he said.

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