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What will happen next re historic complaint of physical abuse school

(17 Posts)
bkgirl Tue 09-Oct-12 11:23:01

I have felt guilty for some time for not speaking up about the physical abuse I witnessed and experienced at my secondary school (I am now 45). Finally when I read on some forums, people expressing doubt as to the veracity of sexual abuse claims I too thought, why don't other people who witnessed it speak out? Therefore last week, I sent my old school a letter explaining several of these events and adding I was not seeking compensation or a legal case (I do find a compensation culture abhorrent)but I did want them to not automatically disbelive anyone making allegations against the people concerned because it showed their capacity for violence. I have received a short response saying the matter will be brought to the attention of the board of governors.
I am sure the offenders are long retired. Socially there is still pressure not to rock the boat, its a small population here and the main offender is related to good people I know. No doubt they will be annoyed at me for telling and shocked thinking I was a quiet and shy person! There really is a strong culture here about hiding abuse, it embarrasses people.What will happen now? What will the governors do (if anything).

TalkinPeace2 Tue 09-Oct-12 13:00:15

a friend of mine wasted 20 years of her life fighting for an apology that was never going to come.
She has finally accepted that the letters, details and information they provided prove that the world is a very different place than it was in the 1970's, that the lessons had been learned, and it will not happen again.

Ask them what steps they have taken and then let it rest - some things are best left as learned from, not raked over by the Daily Mail.

PS if the steps they have taken are not sufficient (eg like at the school in Eastbourne) - give them HELL.

Lonecatwithkitten Tue 09-Oct-12 15:28:48

The flip side is that there are still cases going through the courts to do with a abuse as long as 40 years ago, earlier this year there was yet another conviction relating to Crookham Court School.
You were a child you should not have been put in that position. It takes great guts to come to terms with this many years later well done you.

bkgirl Wed 10-Oct-12 10:32:32

Hi there, Talkin, I know and I guess corporal punishment may have been acceptable in the eighties? I don't need an apology, it's just so that I feel that I have stood up for possible others who may need the back up should they need to formally complain. All my old school mates agree it was terrible but wouldn't do it (send a letter)themselves citing "that's what happened then". TBH I am also glad I have "marked the card" of the teachers concerned. I know it will cheese them off massively that this little wimp actually said what they did. My husband has told me to let it go now or it will eat at me. He is right of course, the letter has freed me (though it was scary sending it).

TalkinPeace2 Wed 10-Oct-12 10:51:23

bk
One of my PE teachers was a predatory lesbian paedo (groping girls whose towels she had hidden etc).
We complained at the time - but as most of the staff were gay, nothing much was done.
I heard on the grapevine that the day CRBs were mooted she left teaching ....
Makes our memories bittersweet rather than bitter.

Well done on sending the letter but now close the lid on that box.

scurryfunge Wed 10-Oct-12 11:38:07

"we complained at the time- but as most of the staff were gay, nothing much was done"
Can you explain what you meant by that comment please.

TalkinPeace2 Wed 10-Oct-12 11:42:20

All girls school, several were openly couples. Not derogatory - factual - and (as can be seen from all the Jimmy Saville coverage) the tolerance level of such behaviour towards teenagers was MUCH higher then than it is now.
Times have changed.

scurryfunge Wed 10-Oct-12 11:49:16

Still don't understand why you are linking being gay to paedophilia.

TalkinPeace2 Wed 10-Oct-12 11:51:20

Because SHE was. Most of the other teachers were happy going out with each other. SHE was interested in the girls. SHE was the dangerous one.
And our problem was that the other teachers could not see the danger.

scurryfunge Wed 10-Oct-12 11:54:49

So are you saying the teachers could not see the danger because they were gay? Still confused, sorry.

bkgirl Wed 10-Oct-12 11:59:25

Wow, Talkin amazing what adults got away with. They really were not the good old days. Thing is I bet the lady concerned went on to target others, pedos don't seem to stop do they - just move on to another location like Saville.Do you think she would be still alive?

SoupDragon Wed 10-Oct-12 12:02:43

Talkin, I must say that your remark comes across as implying that the other teachers did nothing because, in some way, gays have no morals. Which I am sure is not what you meant.

Op - good on you. It may have no effect but, as you say, you have made your complaint which may help others.

TalkinPeace2 Wed 10-Oct-12 12:02:57

scurry
were you at school in the 1970's : no confusion from where I sit. There were gay, lesbian and hetero paedos all over the place - that is why CRBs were brought in ...

bk
almost certainly alive, now in late 60's. Incredibly distinctive name if I could be bothered to look, but my life is worth more than raking that lot up to make lawyers richer IYSWIM

scurryfunge Wed 10-Oct-12 12:06:09

Yes I was at school in the 70s. I'm just challenging the link you made to being gay and paedophilia.

TalkinPeace2 Wed 10-Oct-12 12:07:03

bk
I'm wrong. She is 61. Is the only person on 192 with that surname (never married - funny that) Appears to have left education when I'd heard. Hopefully found herself a girlfriend over the age of 16 and had the sense to settle down.

TalkinPeace2 Wed 10-Oct-12 12:09:11

scurry Why? Being gay does not make one a paedo, it also does not preclude one from being a paedo. That individual was both. Many people are either. Many people are neither. Others are both.

scurryfunge Wed 10-Oct-12 12:12:17

Talkin, I was picking you up on your use of language. You made a sweeping statement. I'm pretty sure you did not mean to come across as homophobic but you did!

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