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Education

amount of pre-school education

15 replies

beasmum · 31/01/2006 18:32

I wonder if anyone has any ideas on my situation? My son is three and a half and since he was three has been attending pre-school for two mornings a week. He is ( I think!) a bright child and he is very articulate, speaking more like a five year old really. He has had a fair amount of contact with other kids but not masses, as I don't have many friends with kids - so really it's the little group of friends from his playgroup that he's seen - about four kids. He has cousins and plays really well with them when he sees them - about once a month ( I try to see them more but don't live very close). He is therefore much more used to adults and I have always played with him and given him much of my attention during the day, though he will amusr himself for chunks of time while I hoover or cook, etc.

Basically, I have no concerns about him at all. But I am told by his pre-school teachers that he is still not very independent with dressing skills (he just is not interested! would go round naked if not forced into clothes!) and he is very reliant indeed on the adults, spending alot of time with them.

I know this stems from what he is used to at home so it's not a mystery - but should he be going to pre-school more days in the week do you think? Would this help him with the issue of dependence on adults, or would it just be more days of the same?

If it wouldn't help the situation then I'm not mad keen to send him more - because he's off to school in September and therefore these are his last months of the freedom of life at home before it all starts.

Anyone have views?

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mszebra · 31/01/2006 18:35

Most of the children who are about the same age at dd's school (not 4 until after easter) are only doing 2-3 sessions/week, so I would think he's about right for his age.

DD is well over 4, goes to preschool 4 days/week. I started trying her in playgroups almost 2 years ago, and she can't dress herself either (all of her peers can, though). So I don't think more sessions is a simple solution!

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goosey · 31/01/2006 18:43

He sounds lovely. A lot like my ds of the same age. I wouldn't worry at all either and would also let him have as much fun and freedom at home as possible before starting school. My own ds won't be going to pre-school/nursery at all - although he does go to a childminder part-time. Perhaps you could use incentive/sticker charts to encourage independent skills? Or source some story books about children doing clever independent things?

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mummygow · 31/01/2006 18:48

My dd is 3 and is entitled to about 15 hours at nursery a week so she goes for 5 morning sessions. Is this not the same everywhere?

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throckenholt · 31/01/2006 18:51

will he be going 5 days per week to school ? If so that may come as a shock to him - you may want to increase the number of sessions gradually over the next few months to say 4 per week.

I thikn dressing etc will right itself when peer pressure exerts itself at school

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beasmum · 31/01/2006 18:53

mummygow, he is entitled to five mornings a week but you don't have to take them all up. Thanks guys for your thoughts - good ideas already, and goosey I will try the incentive idea for independence skills.

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foxinsocks · 31/01/2006 18:54

he sounds lovely....if you are concerned about his social skills, perhaps you could invite one of the other children round for a playdate? He's still very young so I doubt he'll do a lot of playing with the other child but you could encourage them to do play-doh together or play a game.

I think a lot of children go through a phase where they develop very quickly with respect to dressing. Can you start to let him lead the dressing so that you're only helping rather than leading?

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beasmum · 31/01/2006 18:58

thanks for thoughts throckenholt - he is a very young starter at school (will only turn four in the August) and the local infants have a very gentle lead-in where he'll be going two or three mornings for a few weeks. He can then be part-time (ie mornings only) for the whole term, going full time in January 2007.

I've tried to shy away from sending him more purely to prepare him for school, as I thought reception year is in itself a preparation year? I only want to send him more if it will benefit his quality of life. And don't want to OVER prepare him, I like what you said about certain skills righting themselves when peer pressure hits!

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mszebra · 31/01/2006 18:58

Our preschool is so oversubscribed that virtually no children get the full 15 hours/11 weeks of term entitlement. Some kids aren't ready for that many hours, either. Like er, ahem, my own dd.

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beasmum · 31/01/2006 19:01

foxinsocks, thanks! I feel bad on the social fron as we have recently moved and though not a million miles from our previous area, what with the chaos of moving and being that bit further away, I haven't had the couple of playdates a week that we used to so he seems to be thinking other children are from another planet at the moment! I know this will change though as we get back to our routine - and hopefully as he gets to know others at pre-school (he moved after one term in our previous area).

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SueW · 31/01/2006 19:16

Take him out and spend lots of lovely time with him at home whilst you can. Full-time school comes too soon.

When DD started in reception, one of the teacher's main comments was that she wanted to spend all her time round the teachers. However, she quickly became popular in her class and being a mini-adult wasn't such a problem when she picked up reading very quickly and could be relied on to buddy up with visiting children in the book corner.

Enjoy these years as much as possible if you have the option to be at home with him.

JMO!

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throckenholt · 31/01/2006 19:27

my DS1 is a mid July baby - he started in September doing 5 mornings (had previously done 4 playgroup sessions per week). He now does 5 mornings and one afternoon - and we will gradually increase it as we think it would suit him over the rest of the school year.

He comes home for lunch on the 4 morning days - we have the option to have him stay for lunch and then come home if we prefer. It is nice to have him home for the afternoons - and at the moment he would be too tired to stay full time.

You know your child best - if you think he won't find it too much of a shock upping the number of sessions when he starts school then stay as he is.

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jenkel · 31/01/2006 19:31

I wouldnt worry, he is only 3 1/2. My dd is also 3 1/2 and she isnt too good at dressing herself. My dd goes to preschool 3 mornings a week and this is more than enough for her. She starts school full time in Septemeber and I am not going to even increase her days to get her used to it as it wont make any difference after the 6 week summer holiday.

I think there is a lot of pressure on very young children on what they can and cant do, as long as there are not really bad problems, I think we should all relax and let them be young carefree children for as long as possible.

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brimfull · 31/01/2006 19:32

beasmum,he sounds just like my ds,he goes to playschool 4 mornings a week,was 2 mornings until january.He can't dress himself ,despite me coaxinh him to try and do it himself,he's just not interested.

He doesn't start school until sept 07 so I'm probably not under as much pressure as you...thank god!

He is sooo young I think you have the right attitude,he'll be at school for at least 12 years so enjoy this time before it's mandatory.

He sounds normal to me

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Passionflower · 31/01/2006 20:09

I haven't read all the posts on this but my gut reaction is that extra days at pre-school will not make any difference re his dependence on adults.

DD1 went to pre-school three mornings per week for 1 year aged 3-4.
DD2 did two mornings aged 2-3 and three mornings aged 3-4
DD3 will be doing the same as DD2.

Perhaps you could take him to other activities like swimming lessons or soft play/gym where he will be following instructions along with other children.

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beasmum · 31/01/2006 20:30

MNers, you are wonderful and thank you so much for your thoughts. It's lovely to hear what others have done and I am pleased that some people agree with me about my son being able to enjoy his freedom at home before school! My gut reaction has been that I don't think his dependence on adults is a problem and it's nice to feel backed up on this.

I guess nothing is a problem at this stage unless it feels a problem to the child or stops them enjoying life. Other than that, we should accept them totally as they are!