Meeting with school and need help with questions

[MamaMaiasaura]

I am going with my sister to a meeting at her dd's (5) school. Bascailly my niece can been very stubborn and dig her heels in and she is also fairly bright. She is the youngest of 3 and all clsoe in age. Part of her behaviour stems from needing to compete with older siblings and I think also she thinks if she cant be the best at being good she could be the best at being class joker or the like iykwim.

Thing is a teacher in particular has had issues with her and has tried to label her with adhd. She does not have harldy any of the symptoms of this and it apears more to be with boredom and lake of adequate teaching, although being her aunt I am naturally protective.

They have held meetings about my neice without informing my sister or her husband and appear to have furmulated a 'special education plan' based on her having behouurial issues, bearing in mind she has not been formally assessed and she interacts and manages well in all other situations.

I need to help my sister with some questions and am also going to meeting with her, has anyone had simialr expereience or any advice please?

x

[bigbaubleeyes]

I Teach in secondary school - Educational plans are usually formulated by consulting teachers and then shared with parents - don't be phased by these meetings.

But you could ask the following: Has this teacher or any other noticed if she misbehaves when grouped with certain peers, does she complete tasks, does she ever ask for help, is she ever given in class support for any of the lessons/subjects she finds more difficult. If she's bright she may misbehave out of bordem - is she given extension tasks. Ask to see her assessment records and relate her behaviour to progress (or possibly lack of it) Has the school tried a positive rewards scheme? - is there one in place that your sister could continue at home and support the school? Find out whcih teachers have managed her sucessfully and ask what works - have they shared good practice amongst staff???

Also find out from your niece which subjects she enjoys, what activties or projects she has enjoyed recentyl and ask her why - obviously try not to lead the conversation!!!! (Prior to the meeting so you go in armed with some info) Also do you have any previous records/reports to refer to?

As I said I teach in secondary but the basics of behaviour are the same and much the same strategies used. HTH best of luck.

PS ADHD is quite extreme and there are plenty students who can exhibit difficult behaviour who are not ADHD.

[MamaMaiasaura]

thanks you bbeyes
Does anyone else have any advice please.. only tomororw i am going.

[MamaMaiasaura]

bump

[LIZS]

I think they need to be fairly specific about the behaviour which is causing the problems. What it is about that behaviour which is more alarming than simply difficult. What have they tried - small group work, less distracting environment, positive encouragement etc.

Even though you say she is quite competitive at home, could your niece be finding it hard not having a sibling there to spark off or hide behind, not having an automatic place in the pecking order and perhaps not seeing herself as the prettiest, best at maths or reading, most popular etc so tries to stand out in another way. When did she start school, could she still be finding her feet ?

Try not to go with preconceptions that they have made decisions without consultation and your sister may have to be fairly honest with herself if what they describe rings true.

Hope it goes well.

[MamaMaiasaura]

thanks LIZ have written down your advice to take along. Will let you know how it goes.

[sylvm]

Did your niece go to a nursery/playgroup? How was she there. Does your sister have or could she get evidence?

On the other side, if there is a problem (and I don't necessarily mean something like ADHD -just a bit of testing the boundaries), it is good to put a programme in place at school which will hopefully make your niece realise that there are rules and penalties for misbehaviour. I think your sister needs to ask exactly what has been going on and what action has been taken so far.

[MamaMaiasaura]

hi, thanks yes she went to playschool, some problems initially with one playschool although there were problems with the playschool itself. She went to a different playschool and did really really well.

Meeting, they said they dont feel she has 'behioural problems' but is strong willed and testing boundries. She finds it hard to listen, do as she is directed and reading, writing and speech arent where they would like her to be. They said she is not learning disability but just achieving slightly below what she should be. she gets on fine with peers but challenges authority.

tbh they appear to have had an inconsistent approach with her but apparantly she has far more better days than not.

What irritated me is that the lady firstly talked in a generalised manner in relation to all the children and was not be specific to my niece, She couldnt answer some of the questions such as her reading level at presnet, what were specific areas of concern in terms of behaviour either. She kept saying that they all love my niece and think she is a lovely child. Also seemed to be intent on there being a 'them' and 'us' rather than trying to form mutual approach.

To top it all, when i returned to collect my ds the teacher took me aside apparantly he has not been listening or doing his work. HE also took ages over lunch. Think it is alot to do with himhaving been poorly more often than lot lately and he is very tired, growing i expect.

Ah well, thanks all 4 your advice. much appreciated