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MN JURY what do you think of this???????

39 replies

drosophila · 14/01/2006 21:51

DS comes home from school and as always I ask him if he learnt anything interesting today. He starts to go on and on about money and I could tell he was a little upset.

Apparently he was given a load of coins and asked to give 10 different combinations of coins that would total 38p. He is 6 and in yr 1 (but in a mixed yr1/2 class).

Anyway it transpires that he could only come up with three (I think he spent most of his time chatting as he loves to chat) and the teacher TORE his page out of his copy book and gave it to his classmate to put in the bin. 'Was she angry?' I asked 'Yes' he said. When asked how he felt about it he said surprised and disappointed.

When I got him home I got out a load of coins and helped him see different ways he could make up 38p which he seemed happy with but honestly isn't this a bit much for a 6 yr old. He does love maths but still..... And most importantly should I speak to his teacher about her tearing the page out of his book.

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starlover · 14/01/2006 21:56

yes to talking to the teacher!
i didn't realise teaching these days involved humiliating pupils and making them upset in front of the entire class just because they don't do as well as you want them to

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myturn · 14/01/2006 21:56

I would be LIVID! Would definately speak to her about the way she acted with your son in front of the class. Causing a child embarassment like that because she was angry is completely out of order. Poor little soul. She was totally over the top. I hope he is ok now.

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spacecadet · 14/01/2006 21:57

its a bit much to tear his page out, i dont think i would be happy with that, the teacher shouldnt have done that IMO, if he was chatting the teacher should have dealt with that, but not in this way, did the teacher not explain afterwards how to do the various combinations?

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coppertop · 14/01/2006 21:58

My ds1 is in Yr1 and this sounds a lot more advanced than the work they are doing atm. The teacher's reaction was OTT IMHO.

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spacecadet · 14/01/2006 21:58

I would def go into the school and if you are not happy with the response from the teacher, see the head, hes only 6 fgs

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notasheep · 14/01/2006 21:59

OMG your poor ds-really hope you speak to the teacher.

How on earth could they tear a page out like that!

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puff · 14/01/2006 22:04

Some of the children in my Y1 classes would have been able to do this, but certainly not all.

Destroying a child's book in front of the whole class in that way is way out of order IMO - i would complain.

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gladbag · 14/01/2006 22:06

I think the tearing the page out incident is unforgivable, and you should you certainly have a word with the teacher. She may have high expectations for him, but that is no way to motivate or encourage a 6 year old, poor mite. I would be horrified.

The actual task of finding different combinations is hard for Y1, but it sounds as if your son can cope with it, so it's good that his work is stretching him (although perhaps she could have asked "How many combinations can you find?...." and left it as an open-ended challenge, which is less daunting IYSWIM)

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Janh · 14/01/2006 22:06

Just be prepared to find out that it didn't happen exactly as he told you, drosophila...try asking him if he would like you to go in and discuss with his teacher how she tore the page out of his book. If he says yes, definitely, then do it; but he might back away from his version of events. (I've had 4 kids thorough primary school and did gradually modify my response to their reports of what had happened )

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Christie · 14/01/2006 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Caligula · 14/01/2006 23:00

Agree with Jan, I find it quite difficult to believe that a primary school teacher would do this.

If she did, then I would ask her what the basis of her action was - is it an educational or behaviour management technique that she uses regularly and has found to be effective (and if so, in what way) or did she just lose it?

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/01/2006 23:01

AGree with JanH.

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expatinscotland · 14/01/2006 23:02

Yeah, that's a bit much for a 6 year old. FFS, that teacher needs to get a grip! I mean, is she gonna get paid any less b/c not all the 6 year old can solve the 'problem' in what she considers a timely fashion?

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puff · 14/01/2006 23:04

yes, good point Jan! One of my pupils (age 5)told his mother I had hit him round the head . Poor lad was having a hard time accepting Mum's new partner and was seeking attention.

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tensing · 14/01/2006 23:39

I would have a chat with the teacher, don't acuse her, just enquire.

Then if she did do it, drop the written complaint (already writen over the weekend) into the HeadTeacher on the way out.

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Gillian76 · 14/01/2006 23:54

Quite a difficult task, IMO and teacher's reaction (if as described) is way over the top.

Imagine the consequences if DS had ripped a page out of his book in frustration?

I would definitely probe DS again and speak to the teacher if you're concerned.

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Janh · 15/01/2006 10:47

Blimey, puff - how did his mum react? How did you? That must have been a difficult confrontation

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mandieb · 15/01/2006 11:07

check it out if its true first and then go guns blazing ,how would the teacher react if a child tore a page out of council property ,not a good example . But check it out because sometimes our darling little angles who are perfect sometimes dont get it quite right .

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drosophila · 15/01/2006 12:55

Thanks everyone. I was thinking of saying that DS was a little upset over something that happened on Friday and ask her if she knew what it was as I found it difficult to get the detail out of him. I could then say it had someting to do with a maths exercise.

Trouble is he won't want me to speak to the teacher at all cos even when I have had to about him not eating his lunch he pleads with me not to. I will ask hi though as you suggested.

The teacher I think is trying to push him as he is given to chating a getting distracted and she has told me how bright he is so I think she must have gotten frustrated with him. The last thing I want to do is upset the teacher especially if DS's account is less than accurate but I need to know what happened and why..

Your comments have been really helpfull

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puff · 15/01/2006 13:58

It was fine tbh Jan - the Mum was very calm about it and said she didn't think it had happened, but needed to tell me what he had recounted to her. We had a long chat and I felt for her by the end of it because things were obviously very stressful at home due to the changes.

It did get me thinking though, because whilst this was supposed to have happened when the class was full of children and another adult was present (hence it could be refuted) - what about accusations when you are working alone with children?

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Blandmum · 15/01/2006 14:02

Janh had put it very well. I find with my two that their story, and the facts may often differ.

I am also reminded of the MN thread which had people baying for the blood and resignation of a teacher and in the end the child admited that the story was a total fabrication. That was an other Primary child, but I find that mine (ages 9 and 6 ) can still spin the story to make themselves look the injured party, even though they are essentialy truthful children

Just think of our kids at home 'She started it 'etc

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robinpud · 15/01/2006 15:22

I totally agree with Janh that you must take time to ensure that you have an accurate version of the events. There have been times when a child has got upset, or frustrated about a piece of work or even misunderstood the task somehow and we have discussed what they would like to do and they have ripped it out of their book to start afresh- no unpleasantness and certainly no crossness on my part. It's nothing to do with defacing or humiliating but a way of ensuring that they see their achievements . We all learn from our mistakes. I am not saying that this is how it happened for you, but find out more before you set your guns ablazing.

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drosophila · 15/01/2006 16:43

Well I spoke to him as suggested here and asked if he wantd me to speak to his teacher about her tearing the page out of his book. He said 'no' I said 'why?'he said 'cos she will get even angrier with me'. So I asked him if she often get angry with him and he said that this was the first time ever. I asked if she gets angry with any of the other children and he game me two names that apparently she regularily get angry with ( I recognise one of these children as having SN).

I then asked him if I were to speak to his teacher did he think she would tell me that she had ripped a page out of his book and he said that 'she would tell me cos she had done it'. I am not the type to go in guns blazing unless really provoked and as Robinpud said it may have been innocently done.

Thanks for your advise guys it's really good to have an objective opinion.

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tigermoth · 15/01/2006 16:52

Do you have the book or can you get hold of it? Just ask the teacher if you can look at your sons maths book - an innocent question to see how he is getting on.
If there is a page ripped out, you should spot the tear. When you hand the book back to the teacher, ask the teacher how the tear got there and take it from there.

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Tortington · 15/01/2006 17:53

i would go into school and not tell my son - i would arange an appointment to see the head or deputy.

at the very least i would write a letter detailing my concerns and asking for a written reply.

the thing is - even if the teacher was not malicious in her actions your son still counts this as a negative experience and is scared.

your son is scared of you going to the teacher incase she gets angry again. thats really wrong.


look at it this way - the teacher will think twice before doing it again if you go in.

and if she didn't do it maliciously then your son has nothing to be scared of anyway.

i like school to know how very interested i am in my kids education and treatment, i go in and see them regularly - its great they have been accomodating, i always think that i like to remind them of my existance in case they get any fancy ideas about hot helping my less abled children

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